Comments on: How To Deal With A Cheating Partner

By: Dave

Dave — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 00:04:09 +0000

@Steve S
My situation is not too dissimilar to yours. My wife, who I always knew had a ‘bit of history’ relationship-wise, admitted to having a few one night stands and a short affair. Her excuse was that she didn’t feel loved by me. She later confessed that since her teens she had been unable to stay faithful in a relationship for more than a few months, but such were her feelings for me that she stayed faithful for a few years (we have been together for 18 years and have 4 children). You will find this odd but I don’t actually mind too much about her infidelities (because we have a mutually agreed method of ‘punishment’) but what I cannot forgive is the lies since. She promised to tell me everything about all of them but now either says there were no others or says that they were a long time ago and she doesn’t think they matter any more. The problem is they matter to me and until I get the whole truth I just can’t trust her or believe what she tells me. I really don’t know what to do.

By: Dan nguyen

Dan nguyen — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 00:14:37 +0000

I have been with My girlfriend for 6 months and just broke up recently. I have cheated on her with my ex anonymous months after we been together and she caught me in the action. I was already having small problems with my current girlfriend at that time and my ex was still having feeling for me and I was still having feeling for her but we both know it was not going to work so one night she came down and call me to hang out and I had told my girlfriend at that time I was going grab something eat with my ex for a bit and she had trusted me to let me go hang out with my ex. I guess the awkward feeling of us hanging out that night had made us decided to go grab a drink and one thing after another we were both home caught in the action and my current girlfriend at the time came home and caught us having sex.

My girlfriend at that time told had told me either it was me or her since she love me so much but I kinda let my ex go for I knew it was not worth it. Months later after the incident I have been working to build her trust but seem like every time I do so, she would talk negatively about my ex and I know she has the right to do so, but the part you guys don’t know about my current girlfriend at the time is that she is a mood swinger type person but very strong minded person hard headed and a major BITCH. Nothing I can do to win her trust. If I tell truth I lose or when I lie I I still lose both ways I lose to her and I can just shut up and deal with it. We are always constantly fighting and she always trying to find drama to start and I’m trying to work with her to find a way to make our relationship work. It has gotten so bad that I can’t go out, there’s no reasonable thought to make her change and drop the past so we both can move on to healthier ways. We are still young in our below 20′s and hoping someone can please help us out I want to fix this cause I love the person she is when she’s not being negative or bringing past with drama.

By: Steve S

Steve S — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 08:51:32 +0000

I am a 45 yr old man who loved my partner with ALL my heart, we have 2 very young & beautiful kids together after a very turbulent 5 yrs (Mostly through her excessive drinking habit). However, like many before me have also said…..My partner has cheated on me (With a guy I know) & is trying to lay the blame on me…I guess this is a cheater’s trait? Although I am clearly devastated as she or so I thought was my soulmate. I would just like to say a BIG THANK YOU to all of you that have expressed your feelings & thoughts as after reading them it has helped me realise that no-one deserves to be treated with such disrespect, lies & deceit. We are ALL better than that & when you truly realise it that is when you become STRONG again. THANK YOU ALL again for helping me at this dark time in my life.

By: cstud

cstud — Sat, 23 Apr 2011 19:23:00 +0000

Hey everyone, iv been reading your stories and wow i don’t know if mine compares but maybe someone can help. I’ve been with this girl for almost two years we were engaged, all of a sudden she stopped wearing her ring. During the last year she didn’t work i supported her now that she’s working she’s met some people. That’s fine but there’s one guy who she had over and lied to me about. I found his shirt on the couch, she gave an explanation he had two on and got hot. Ok then after i told her to just be honest with me i didn’t care if he was her friend.

I was staying at my parent’s and heard someone in the background. She lied again, said he wasn’t there so I went to my apartment, they had left. Eventually she admitted he was there, he call every day, she says she drives him to work. Ok i can see that, but i looked through her phone once when she was in the shower and there was a txt from him saying :hey sexy i miss you she wrote: i miss you too then he wrote “so just sayin i got my aunts place to myself tomorrow night. but there was no reply from her. She tries to tell me he has a girlfriend and its nothing even though she doesn’t even tell me she misses me she stopped havin sex or anything with me months ago……i constantly catch her in lies…..am i crazy or would you think she’s cheating? Told her i would never talk to another girl like that cuz i love and respect her, i mean I’ve done nothing but love and support her. Please give me your opinions.

By: aevarose

aevarose — Thu, 21 Apr 2011 10:02:14 +0000

So this is a little different. My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year. A couple weeks ago, I found his password for his phones and went through them since my intuition told me something was wrong. I found numerous texts from other girls. Especially from one other female. I asked one of his friends and he said they were dating before he met me. Plus, they are still together. And I’m the other woman. I didn’t know about this so I want to be angry and leave, but he’s mad at me for going through his phone. I’m confused about what I should do now…

By: Need Advice

Need Advice — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 21:14:36 +0000

I am dating a professional athlete who is constantly tempted by whores, sluts, and good girls all the time. He cheats.. he says it’s hard to stop, with the lifestyle he is in.. He asks me to be patient. In my eyes Patient= be ok with me sleeping with other women until I get tired of it. I cannot do that. We’ve only been together for about a year and 3 months..I love him a lot and he says he loves me and only wants me in his life forever. We make each other happy, but now that i know he is cheating AGAIN, it is hard to believe anything he says. Every time he picks up his phone i think he’s texting another woman. Every hotel he goes to I’m worried that he’s got another hotel room for a random chick and is planning to sneak over after we get off the phone at night (like he has done before!).. Common sense is telling me to leave, but every time i think about leaving i get heartbroken. And i don’t tell ANYONE about these problems so I have NO ONE to talk about this stuff with. I don’t want to make him look bad or make MYSELF look weak for staying with someone who continues to hurt me. I just need SOME advice. Please try not to judge me.

By: PK

PK — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 09:18:51 +0000

Melvyn I am in a similar situation and i think she may be lying to you. My gal of 4 years went on a business trip with her boss and shared a room with him. She claims she thought nothing would happen. Well, it did. She slept with him. After the 1st time she sent me a text breaking up with me. Then she had sex with him throughout that trip and once on the next one. She first told me they had only kissed but when i showed her porn emails from her boss she confessed and claims she did not really cheat because she broke up with me after the first time she had sex with her boss. Cheating women lie. She will tell you she did not enjoy it or that she was forced. Leave that relationship. If she has truly changed then good for her, let her get a guy who does not know what she is capable of.

By: Melvyn

Melvyn — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 20:40:25 +0000

Just found out right now that she is still talking to him after all this because at the moment, he is the only friend she has. She is definitely moving in with her other parents which is in the same area as him. I asked her how many times she kissed him. She said about 5. She said that he put his hand on her neck and she ran her fingers though his hair. She said the reason why she could text me after doing it was because she was resolved to never do it again, but did anyway. She says she now doesn’t know what she wants. She knows she wants to spend the rest of her life with me, but doesn’t know if she deserves it. But now as a result, that’s an excuse to keep this guy close because she tells me she doesn’t know if she wants to be with him. He also phoned her today just to chat.

Don’t understand. Just don’t. Please help me. Please.

By: Melvyn

Melvyn — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 19:56:36 +0000

….. and as a result, got close to this guy, he clearly felt the vibes and made a move, and she let him. She tells me she is absolutely heart broken and doesn’t know why it happened. And that maybe she isn’t ready for a relationship. However, she wants to move in with her other parents, who happen to stay in the same area he does. I lost it with her and swore a lot and cried. Reason being because she was always the one who read my messages on my phone and told me I can’t have contact with any girls she doesn’t know. She was the one that was always so strict and said she had a hard time trusting me at time. But then she does this.

I asked her about this guy and she says she just likes him. I said to her if I left her now and told her I never want her back, would she go out with this guy, she said she doesn’t know. I also found out that after meeting this guy the first time, she had been chatting to him and confiding him. i noticed her being a little secretive with her cellphone and confronted her. She lied to me about chatting to him when I asked.

I phoned this guy up after asking her to give me his number and he seems to think that he wants her. Apparently he even asked her to leave me for him.

I am absolutely so confused about every aspect of what has happened and I really need advise on everything. I was feeling suicidal tonight and found this page. That is why I have wrote the whole story. I have now got it off my chest and feel a little better. I just need help and don’t know where to go.

I appreciate whoever takes the time to read through this whole story. If you want to know anything else which you think might contribute to my decision, please ask. Thanks again. Melvyn

By: Melvyn

Melvyn — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 19:48:52 +0000

…….. I told my ex about this girl I was into, but went about it all wrong and lied to her about a few things. She was so angry with me and actually told me she would rather not go out anymore. I managed to convince her that I was totally sorry and that it was nothing serious at all and I would never contact her again (till this day, I haven’t). She forgave me and we carried on. I moved there in February 2010 and worked the whole year. Things were absolutely awesome between us and I was in such a happy place in life. Work, however, was really tough, especially trying to live alone at the age of 20 and eventually I realized, being a sales rep, i wouldn’t make target and my boss would have to let me go. I approached my girlfriend and asked her how she felt about moving back with me to my home town. She was scared at first, but after talking to my parents and getting their support, she said she’d do it and the steps were taken. We both flew down and I started working for my father. My girlfriend just came for a month or so to basically scout everything out, find a place to stay etc. She then went away to her step mom and dad who had just had a daughter, her sister. They went away on holiday, for about 12 days, to a place she had been about a month earlier with her parents. She told me before she went the second time, that there was a guy there that was hitting on her and was a family friend of her step mom, but that I shouldn’t worry.

To get to the point, my girlfriend got there, and, well, ended up hooking up with this guy, several times. By hooking up, I mean kissing. While she was there at this resort, she phoned me and texted me and told me she loved me and would see me soon, but was getting with this guy. She went home and where she was going to get the rest of her stuff and move here. She suddenly said to me that she can’t move here anymore. I asked why and she said because she had spoken to her dad and a few people and they had told she was only 19 and she was scared of moving. I tried to reassure her that I would support her and it would be OK. She said she doesn’t know but will sleep on it. The next day I spoke to her and she went quiet. She said to me the reason she couldn’t come was because something happened and she is heart broken. I asked what and she told me the story. That everyone started putting pressure on her and telling her she was only 19. She also said she needed a friend…….