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You’re Just Not Feeling It – Now What?

June 4th, 2009

The world is full of songs (some good, some bad) about breaking off relationships for all kinds of reasons. If only it were as easy as some of them make it out to be! The reality is that you’re probably going to go through several different potential partners before finding that really special one, so sooner or later you’re going to have to face up to it.

You’re just not feeling it with a particular person and you want to break it off – now what?

Breaking up is hard to do (my apologies to Neil Sedaka) but it’s not impossible to do if you go about it the right way. While there’s no single “best” way to end it and move on, there are some general things to keep in mind:

1. Be honest. This is really, really, really hard to do. It’s tough to honestly tell someone you’re not interested in seeing them anymore, so it’s tempting to make something up. Don’t give in to this temptation because it’s only going to end up badly. It’s far better to open a conversation, share your honest feelings, and exit the situation gracefully.

2. Do it in person. Sometimes this isn’t possible, but if you can do it in person that’s the best choice. This doesn’t mean spending a long evening together and then springing it on the other person at the end, but it does mean having the courage to say what you need to say to his or her face.

3. Never burn a bridge. Old advice for sure, but still valid in today’s world. Never end a relationship by saying or doing mean things to the other person, even if it’s really, really tempting to do so. It’s a small dating world out there, and if you treat someone badly during a break up I can almost guarantee it will come back to haunt you at some point.

Breaking Up , ,

Single With Children

June 4th, 2009

Let’s face it, finding someone special and dating when you’re a single parent is tough. There are so many things to consider, from your kids’ feelings to your own baggage and more, it might seem easier to just a) forget about dating and crawl back into your hole, or b) not say anything about having kids until you’re a little ways into a dating relationship. Neither of these is a good option, so what’s a single parent to do?

As hard as it may be, never lie, mislead, or conveniently forget to mention that you have a child/children. This approach never turns out well for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is that you’re starting out a relationship with a lie. Not a good way to establish a successful relationship!

It’s far better to focus on looking for potential partners in ways and in places where a single parent with children does not stand out as unusual or undesirable. A good place to start is with one of the online dating sites that have services catering to single parents, such as:

www.match.com – Not strictly a single parent site, but with a strong sub-community of singles with children

www.singleparentmatch.com – Separate from match.com, but catering solely to helping single parents meet each other to form friendships and/or relationships

www.singleparentmingle.com – Another online dating service focused on single parents, this one has a number of extra features available like compatibility matching, chat rooms, forums, blogs, and more.

So if you’re a single parent, don’t be afraid to get out there and start meeting new people. There’s lots of ways to do it and online dating services to help you along!

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Spring Fever Is Contagious

May 18th, 2009

With all of the media sensationalism over the recent swine flu outbreak, it’s easy to start feeling a bit paranoid about getting out there and meeting new people. Those pictures of people walking around wearing surgical masks and the daily briefings with a “sky is falling” theme are downright scary.

Fortunately, it seems the flu outbreak is winding down and hasn’t been nearly as serious as originally feared. There is another sickness going around, though, and this one has no cure.

It’s called Spring Fever. It’s extremely contagious. And there’s no cure except to get outside, get active, and let it run its course.

Spring is a natural time for singles to feel energized about finding a new partner and it comes with plenty of opportunities for doing just that. If you find yourself suffering from this seasonal affliction, here are five great ways to get through it and even share it with others:

1. Join a co-ed softball team sponsored by the local parks & recreation department.

2. If you have a dog, take it to the nearest dog park on a regular basis.

3. Get outside in the evenings after work and go for a walk.

4. Sign up for an outdoor class like kayaking, fishing, or the like.

5. Sign up for group golf lessons and make a point of playing the local par-3 course at least once per week.

These may sound kind of silly or even ho-hum, but I guarantee that you’ll find yourself having some fun, enjoying the spring a bit more, and perhaps even meeting other singles like yourself along the way.

News & Views , , , ,