Dating Tips | Dating Service.com » Diary http://www.dating-service.com/blog Advice and Tips for Online Dating Sun, 12 Feb 2012 09:01:11 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Are They “The One”? http://www.dating-service.com/blog/1156/are-they-the-one/ http://www.dating-service.com/blog/1156/are-they-the-one/#comments Sun, 10 Oct 2010 15:29:22 +0000 Alison http://www.dating-service.com/blog/?p=1156 After dating someone for a while, this is the question you start to ask yourself. The older we get, however, the more likely we are to question our “gut” about such things. If you’re starting to think your new love might be “the one” here are four questions to ask yourself to be sure.

  • Are things completely natural between you? When you find the right person, there is no pretense; you’re no longer trying to impress them. You believe they love you for who you really are.
  • Do you agree on the most basic values? For two people to have a long term commitment, they have the same basic values. In the long run, two people with very different ideas on honesty, family relationships and integrity will not last.
  • Do you want the same things long term? Having similar long term goals is critical. Do you agree on whether or not to have children? Do you share religious beliefs, or have you come to an agreement about your differences in this area? If not, you can’t really be sure yet that this person is “the one”.
  • Can you imagine life without them? Think about your life if the relationship ended. If you find that you can’t imagine how you could be happy without this person in your life, then he or she may be “the one”.

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]]> http://www.dating-service.com/blog/1156/are-they-the-one/feed/ 0 Vegan Matchmaking – Pleased to (Non-)Meat You http://www.dating-service.com/blog/769/vegan-matchmaking-%e2%80%93-pleased-to-non-meat-you/ http://www.dating-service.com/blog/769/vegan-matchmaking-%e2%80%93-pleased-to-non-meat-you/#comments Mon, 18 May 2009 04:57:38 +0000 Julie http://www.dating-service.com/blog/?p=769 Once upon a time, there were two people who didn’t want to eat meat. But they did want to find love. So, they went to a vegan retreat to keep up with their vegan ways and found each other.

It’s becoming a common story these days. As soon as you’re not looking for love, there it is.

While vegans are finding love, so are those who do eat meat.

The lesson to take from this fairy tale story is that getting out and doing what you love can often turn into a love relationship. By exploring those things that inspire you, you can meet others who share in your interests.

Since you will already have something to talk about, even breaking the ice becomes a much easier thing. You can talk about the class, go to follow-up seminars and meetings together. Even if your relationship doesn’t end up working out, you’ll still have cultivated a friendship that is based on shared mutual interests.

And learning more about yourself and about life is something that you can carry with you, even when you are single.

So, get out the door and back into your life. Love might be waiting for you to sign up.

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]]> http://www.dating-service.com/blog/769/vegan-matchmaking-%e2%80%93-pleased-to-non-meat-you/feed/ 0 The Truth about Dating Violence http://www.dating-service.com/blog/187/the-truth-about-dating-violence/ http://www.dating-service.com/blog/187/the-truth-about-dating-violence/#comments Sun, 26 Oct 2008 16:35:27 +0000 Julie http://www.dating-service.com/blog/?p=187 It’s a sad day when high schools begin to teach about dating violence in the classroom. But the reality is that many teens, especially girls, are going to have troubles with dating violence at one point in their lives.

To help combat this grim reality, those who are new to the dating scene need to keep these rules in mind for themselves as they head out with a new date:

  • Always tell someone where you’re going – This way, people can find you if you’ve been gone for too long or they just want to check in on you. If your date changes your dating location at the last minute, refuse to go there until you let someone else know. Or, you can be subtle and just text message the change to a friend.

  • Always have a time frame in mind and let others know – Let your friends and family know when you will be back, and then stick to the plan.

  • Any sign of violence is a bad sign – Even if your date is just ‘playing rough,’ if it makes you uncomfortable, you need to leave your date, call home and get someone to pick you up.

  • If you’ve already experienced violence, you need to tell someone – Even if you don’t think it’s a big deal, letting someone know will help you gain perspective on the situation. And they can help you get the help you need, even if you don’t want to.

  • Never go anywhere that’s not public until you feel completely comfortable with someone – This is common sense. Get to know a person first before you head back to their house or to a dark alley.

Dating violence typically happens with someone you know well…or someone you thought you knew. No matter how long you’ve been going out or how much you love this person, any violence is too much violence. You need to get away from this person now, before it’s too late.

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]]> http://www.dating-service.com/blog/187/the-truth-about-dating-violence/feed/ 3 Take Love Lessons from the Other Singles Out There http://www.dating-service.com/blog/173/take-love-lessons-from-the-other-singles-out-there/ http://www.dating-service.com/blog/173/take-love-lessons-from-the-other-singles-out-there/#comments Fri, 01 Aug 2008 11:57:35 +0000 Julie http://www.dating-service.com/blog/?p=173 From coast to coast, people are looking for one thing – someone to love. And whether they choose to use online dating options or they go the old-fashioned route, there are a few lessons you can learn from the mistakes (and the successes) of others just like you.

Geography doesn’t matter in the land of love – only how you travel to your final destination.

First of all, being yourself is the main lesson that all of us could learn. We often believe that in order to impress someone else, we need to become someone else, but this is far from the truth. What we do need to do is to learn to accept who we are, even with our flaws, and flaunt the positive.

This means – women, don’t spackle on makeup to look ‘perfect’ and men, don’t fluff up your credentials or your achievements to seem successful.

Secondly, you want to make sure that you are clear about what you want from your relationship from the very start. Just want to date someone for fun? Tell your new partner that.

Looking for a long term relationship? Tell them that too.

This way, you can both be on the same page, and no one can ever say, “Oh I didn’t know that you wanted….”

Finally, if there’s any tip that works for both genders in every dating scenario, it’s this one – realize that it might not work. You shouldn’t put all of your hope and your energy into one person because it’s probably fairly reasonable to assume that they might not be the ‘one’ you’ve been looking for.

Go into each date and each relationship as though you could fall in love, but if it doesn’t happen, that’s okay too.

Move onto the next lucky date!

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]]> http://www.dating-service.com/blog/173/take-love-lessons-from-the-other-singles-out-there/feed/ 0 When You’ve Dated Too Many… http://www.dating-service.com/blog/171/when-youve-dated-too-many/ http://www.dating-service.com/blog/171/when-youve-dated-too-many/#comments Fri, 11 Jul 2008 16:40:19 +0000 Julie http://www.dating-service.com/blog/?p=171 If you’re finding that there’s a theme to your dates, it might be time to find a different kind of site. For example, some people don’t want to date all hippies or conservatives, so they need to head to sites that favor their political flavor.

Or you might want to date all vegans or meat lovers – whatever your thing is.

What you need to know is that you CAN find your dating niche, if you look for it. Just be specific about what you hate and you’re certain you want. There’s a site for everyone.

And knowing this, you can choose dates that are much more likely to be successful, instead of dates that end up in an awkward moment on the doorstep and many ignored phone calls.

Niches are the next wave in online dating. Instead of just hoping for A date, you can choose THE RIGHT date for you and for your current tastes in men or in women.

After all, if you both are in the niche, you already have something in common – not a bad icebreaker at all.

From political affiliations to gender orientations and fetishes to favorite comic books, you CAN have it all. Finally.

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]]> http://www.dating-service.com/blog/171/when-youve-dated-too-many/feed/ 0 I’d Be More Thankful If This Were for Real http://www.dating-service.com/blog/134/id-be-more-thankful-if-this-were-for-real/ http://www.dating-service.com/blog/134/id-be-more-thankful-if-this-were-for-real/#comments Thu, 22 Nov 2007 17:10:29 +0000 Julie http://www.dating-service.com/blog/134/id-be-more-thankful-if-this-were-for-real/ In my ideal world, you could order up dates as easily as you can order books on Amazon.com or movies on Netflix.com. Here’s my dating dream.

I’d like a site where people can post other people they know who are looking to date. By filling out a form about what they like, these people would get sorted into different categories – artsy, athletic, etc. Then, after they have dated someone or you have dated them, you would leave feedback on the site or rank them with a star or point system.

By the magic of computers and ranking systems, the dating site would then recommend other dates based on dates that you ranked well in the past. For example, if you seem to like going on dates with athletic guys or gals, you might get shown a list of singles that fit with your interests – “Based on your interest in Mike2014, here are some other dates you might like…”

This would make things all the easier, wouldn’t it?

Instead of poring over the lists of singles that are available, you could go to your recommendations and pick out the ones that appeal to you. And whenever the website didn’t match you up with someone that you liked, you could simply say ‘Not Interested’ and then further refine your dating recommendations.

Of course, I would also make sure there was a way to keep track of the singles you want to contact – much like the cart or the queue system. How perfect would that be?

Do I have something to be thankful for? Are there sites like this out there? I haven’t found the perfect site yet, so if you have – let me know!

Leave your hints in the comments so that all of us can fill up our calendars!

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]]> http://www.dating-service.com/blog/134/id-be-more-thankful-if-this-were-for-real/feed/ 1 Are We All Racists When It Comes To Dating? http://www.dating-service.com/blog/104/do-hot-black-girls-prefer-hot-black-guys/ http://www.dating-service.com/blog/104/do-hot-black-girls-prefer-hot-black-guys/#comments Thu, 17 May 2007 13:49:46 +0000 Veronika http://www.dating-service.com/blog/104/do-hot-black-girls-prefer-hot-black-guys/ With every type of niche now being filled by new online dating services, there are many sites appearing that offer online communities and matchmaking services for ethnic groups such as black people, Asians or Hispanics. So what’s the point of these dating services for specific racial groups, and do they offer you anything more than conventional personals sites such as Match.com or eHarmony?

Well it all depends on what expectations you have. These sites are ideal if you are the type of person who knows exactly what you are looking for, and you have a strong preference for meeting people of the same cultural background. This is not such a bad thing – relationship experts have long said that we are drawn to people who are similar to us, and all things being equal, such relationships have a better chance of success than ones of couples from different cultural backgrounds.

Women have been found to have a significantly stronger preference for relationships with men from the same racial background, while men appear to be less fussy about cultural roots. Studies of speed daters found that women were much more likely to ‘turn-down’ men of different racial backgrounds than men of the same race as themselves. This was found to be true for women of various racial backgrounds.

While most dating websites offer some kind filtering system that lets members find other members of a certain ethnic origin, many niche sites have sprung up recently to cater specifically to certain ethnic communities. The larger ethnic sites, such as BlackSingles.com are doing extremely well, and are now among the most visited dating sites in the US.

If you are considering using an “ethnically themed” site it is always best to choose one with a reasonably large membership since the number of members in some of the niche sites can be relatively low.

While most members of such sites are from the same cultural background, it’s worth remembering that such sites usually welcome members of all races and colors.

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]]> http://www.dating-service.com/blog/104/do-hot-black-girls-prefer-hot-black-guys/feed/ 9 Is Your Perfect Date a Perfect Con Artist? http://www.dating-service.com/blog/93/is-your-perfect-date-a-perfect-con-artist/ http://www.dating-service.com/blog/93/is-your-perfect-date-a-perfect-con-artist/#comments Tue, 17 Apr 2007 17:00:44 +0000 Julie http://www.dating-service.com/blog/93/is-your-perfect-date-a-perfect-con-artist/ When you’re looking for your Romeo or your Juliet, online dating can be a great starting point. But once you’ve met the ‘perfect’ one for you, does this mean that you need to start paying them too?

Just like any online site, trusting in someone else’s identity online can be a tricky thing. Since you really can’t verify that ‘Romeo’ is who he says he is or that ‘Juliet’ really does live where she says she does, online dating sites have become the next place that con artists are popping up. By pulling you in with promises and proclamations of love, you can begin to feel that you have found your perfect mate…and then they want you to wire money to them.

Here’s the thing, yes there are situations in which this person may very well need the money they’re asking for. They might also really want you to help them out, but when it comes to sending a lot of money to someone you don’t know, you are probably just being duped into the latest scam. Though it may not be as obvious as the Nigerian scam, you need to be suspicious of anyone asking you for money.

You also want to be on the lookout for anyone that wants you to cash any checks, hold any goods, etc. While you might really trust the other person, you may also become an unwitting member of a crime – and that’s not what love is for.

If you begin to feel that the person you’re talking to may be a scam artist, let your online dating website know so they can take action. If you still have concerns, you can alway choose one of the dating services that pre-screen members which ensures that they are who they say they are. Take a look at True.com or GE-Dating.com for examples of such sites.

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]]> http://www.dating-service.com/blog/93/is-your-perfect-date-a-perfect-con-artist/feed/ 0 Online Dating Gone Wrong http://www.dating-service.com/blog/58/online-dating-gone-wrong/ http://www.dating-service.com/blog/58/online-dating-gone-wrong/#comments Sat, 28 Oct 2006 14:48:23 +0000 Julie http://www.dating-service.com/blog/58/online-dating-gone-wrong/ But not all is happy and cheery in dating land, is it? There are plenty of horror stories that you have heard from your friends and siblings. The woman that picked her nose at the table or the guy that had nose hair that was longer than his moustache – these are people that you might meet. However, there are ways to deal with these hairy situations.

No pun intended.

There are going to be dates that don’t work out for either of you. And chances are good that if you’re uncomfortable, they will be too and realize that you’re lacking in chemistry. But the real question is whether you should cut and run early in the date, or stick it to see if there are some redeeming qualities that you might be missing.

Here are some signs that you should just end the date:

  • They insult you and it’s not in a nervous teasing sort of way
  • They insult your family or friends
  • They have beliefs that you don’t agree with
  • They are abusive in any way

And here are some signs that you might want to stick it out:

  • They apologize profusely for things that might be perceived as negative
  • They are respectful of you
  • It’s just their looks that you’re having troubles with

In the end, you might be able to get past the nose hair, so unless there’s something painfully mismatched about your date, why not go the adventurous route and see if you might have found your new spouse?

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]]> http://www.dating-service.com/blog/58/online-dating-gone-wrong/feed/ 0 Big Age Gaps Needn’t Stop Love! http://www.dating-service.com/blog/44/big-age-gaps-neednt-stop-love/ http://www.dating-service.com/blog/44/big-age-gaps-neednt-stop-love/#comments Tue, 05 Sep 2006 18:03:51 +0000 Veronika http://www.dateatlas.com/blog/44/big-age-gaps-needn%e2%80%99t-stop-love/ Big age gaps needn’t stop love!

Michael Douglas (61), Catherine Zeta-Jones (36)

Harrison Ford (64), Calista Flockhart (41)

Brad Pitt (42), Angelina Jolie (31)

Cameron Diaz (34), Justin Timberlake (25)

These super-celebs have something more in common than just blockbuster fame.

With a 25, 23, 11, and 9 year respective age differential, these star couples have an added dimension heaped on the usual relationship difficulties. Each is trying to make love work despite the host of problems that come specifically with a rather large age gap.

Sure, there’s plenty to gain by getting together with someone from a different generation.

Think about it. Everyday you get the chance to be with someone who really has an entirely different perspective than you do. They’re from a different time and era. So naturally they see things differently than you. And adding some of this ‘new other perspective’ to your own way of viewing the world is a definite bonus.

But, yep…there’s a bunch of difficult stuff to deal with too.

Different ages mean the two of you’ll be living through completely different life cycles. This can translate into totally different interests and friends. Maybe you’ll even have to seriously start thinking about health issues (if your partner is older than you) much sooner than you otherwise would have. And if there are children involved from previous marriages – whoa! – you might have your hands full. (Kids often like to wreak havoc on a new wife that’s hardly older than they are).

What’s more? Other people will do their best to make things worse. They’ll stare, gossip…and generally try to make you feel as if you’re some kind of freak.

Forget them. Who cares what other people think anyway!
Focus instead on those who believe in you. True friends will understand the real nature of your love and encourage you.

To get over some of those other difficulties…try taking up a common hobby.

Michael and Catherine golf. Cameron and Justin surf. And Brad and Angelina seem to share a passion for just about any daredevil activity, from motorcycling to flying.

Granted – A common lifestyle (i.e. show biz) probably also helps.

When it’s true love, age really is trivial. Some days might be tough. But don’t be afraid.
Just go for it.

Veronika Cardes

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