Dating Tips | Dating Service.com » Safety http://www.dating-service.com/blog Advice and Tips for Online Dating Sun, 12 Feb 2012 09:01:11 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 5 Warning Signs You Need to Know to Avoid Dating Scammers http://www.dating-service.com/blog/1541/avoiding-dating-scammers/ http://www.dating-service.com/blog/1541/avoiding-dating-scammers/#comments Tue, 20 Dec 2011 20:01:39 +0000 Alison http://www.dating-service.com/blog/?p=1541 Online dating has no doubt revolutionized the way people meet for friendship and romance. In fact, studies indicate that it now ranks third on the list of six most common and popular ways to meet someone new. However, while most go into online dating with good intentions, there are a percentage of so-called online daters whose objectives are less than honorable. These types see an online dating site as merely a forum for running scams or for living out some sort of fantasy life– all at the expense of others. Whether the investment is financial or emotional on the part of the innocent, devastating loss is often the end result.

Online dating scammers (or predators) are highly adept at manipulating others. They are so practiced in their craft that the red flags to their behavior are typically only realized after someone’s heart (or pocketbook) has been broken. To keep from becoming a statistic in the online dating scene, watch for these common indicators:

Red flag #1: A life story that is larger than life itself

Scammers can’t work their magic without first drawing in a victim. Therefore, their life story is often a feel good tale of rags to riches, jet-setting, charity and privilege. Or, he or she may be the underdog fighting for some good cause. Whatever the case, dating scammers portray themselves as doing the incredible all while maintaining a seemingly modest and approachable disposition.

Red flag #2: The wonderful life tinged with tragedy
Just like the rising action of a well-laid plot, there will likely be a parent, a sibling or grandparent struck down by a rare illness or sudden accident. If not this, it will be something to pull at the heartstrings of their victim. At this point, the financial scammer may begin sniffing around for money. Conversely, the emotional scammer is simply looking to feed on sympathy.

Red flag #3: Communication is erratic
Once the trap is laid, the predator will subtly arrange it so that he or she does all the contacting. This contact comes only between certain hours, certain days of the week or a combination thereof. During these times, he or she may talk in hushed tones or end phone calls abruptly. There may even be long spans without communication.

One of the biggest red flags of an online dating scammer is someone who claims to travel extensively or make trips ‘out of the country’ for extended periods of time. The scammer may claim to be stranded in a remote African country, and require your assistance to get home. African countries are the source of numerous dating scams; be especially wary of Nigeria, Senegal, Ghana, and the Ivory Coast.

Red flag#4: An online relationship that feels meant to be — until it’s time to meet

An online dating scammer will make any excuse he or she can to not meet in person. Or, he or she will agree to meet but cancel or consistently put off plans at the last minute. This will be weaved with heartrending excuses, promises to meet at a later date or more ‘tragedies’ in order to distract a victim from questioning the predator’s motives.

Red flag #5: An online relationship that is one-sided and all give

A relationship with an online dating predator is not only financially or emotionally draining, it never goes anywhere. After a while, the victim begins to notice that everything revolves totally around the person on the other end. When the jig is finally up, the scammer will likely disappear without a trace and move on to the next victim.

What to do in the case of a suspected online dating scammer:

Cut all communication immediately. Do not answer emails and, if necessary, change phone numbers. Expect further attempts at manipulation via sob stories, emotional blackmail or even new and sudden “misfortunes”. Do not be drawn back in to the trap. Be prepared to document any behavior that suddenly becomes abusive or threatening and report it immediately to the online dating site hosting the scammer’s profile and/or the police.

Practice online dating safety. Just because an online dating site implements identity confirmation procedures or background checks, do not toss personal accountability aside. For the dating scammer, a victim is nothing more than someone who aids in keeping the con alive. It is therefore imperative to establish firm emotional boundaries when choosing to meet and date people online.

Do not feel stupid. Getting financially or emotionally scammed by an online dating predator has nothing to do with one’s intelligence. Even the most astute individual can be drawn in by a skilled con artist. What matters most is learning from the experience and maintaining control of one’s online dating experience at all times.

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]]> http://www.dating-service.com/blog/1541/avoiding-dating-scammers/feed/ 0 Protect Your Identity While Dating Online http://www.dating-service.com/blog/1074/protect-your-identity-while-dating-online/ http://www.dating-service.com/blog/1074/protect-your-identity-while-dating-online/#comments Thu, 06 May 2010 08:19:33 +0000 Alison http://www.dating-service.com/blog/?p=1074 Identity theft is a growing problem, one that can literally wreak havoc on your life if your identity is ever compromised. There is plenty of information out there about how to protect your identity during normal everyday life activities, but one area that is overlooked by many people is protecting their identity while dating online.

Now, you might not think about this right away but consider this: when you’re getting to know someone as part of a dating relationship a normal and natural part of the process is sharing information and getting to know each other. This makes online dating a virtual smorgasbord of opportunity for scammers and others seeking to gain information about you for the sole purpose of taking over your identity for illegal purposes.

If you want to protect your identity from theft and scammers online, here are a few tips to keep in mind:

  • Do not give out information such as your mother’s maiden name, your home address, your birth city, or the like.
  • Be extremely cautious of anyone who wants to send you gifts such as flowers, candy, etc., early on in the relationship; they may be trying to get your address information in order to go after your identity.
  • Never send anyone money, give them your credit card number, or otherwise provide any financial information to them. NEVER!

As if dating weren’t challenging enough, worrying about the potential for identity theft while dating online is kind of a pain. But it is important, though, to follow these simple steps to protect yourself if you want to avoid the hassles and even greater pain that goes along with having your identity stolen or compromised.

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]]> http://www.dating-service.com/blog/1074/protect-your-identity-while-dating-online/feed/ 0 Watch Out For Online Dating Scams http://www.dating-service.com/blog/920/watch-out-for-dating-scams/ http://www.dating-service.com/blog/920/watch-out-for-dating-scams/#comments Sun, 13 Dec 2009 13:03:58 +0000 Alison http://www.dating-service.com/blog/?p=920 You’ve probably heard over and over again about the huge number of internet scams out there, and if you’re like most people you think it could never happen to you. Unfortunately, though, it most certainly CAN happen to you. More and more people are falling victim to scams involving online dating, so I think it’s worth taking a few moments to let you know about a couple of the most common scams out there right now.

Mobile Online Dating – I wrote a previous blog entry about the huge growth in online dating applications for your mobile phone, which of course means there are plenty of scammers out there who want to take advantage of this surge in popularity for their own dark purposes. One of the scams we’re seeing more and more often is scammers who are aggressively promoting mobile online dating applications that serve only to trick you into entering personal information in the application.

If you’re interested in using your mobile phone for online dating functions, be sure to check out available applications ahead of time using your regular computer. Look for apps that are put out by reputable online dating sites only, and only download those apps directly from the legitimate web site of those companies.

Phony Online Dating Web Sites – There are lots of phishing scams floating around out there right now, particularly in the area of online dating sites. The same rules apply to this type of scam as to any other phishing scam; never respond to an email and give out your personal information, and remember that no legitimate online dating web sites will ever send you an email asking you to confirm your password, credit card, phone number, or other vital information. If you receive a phishing email like this delete it right away, without clicking on any links or responding to the sender in any way.

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]]> http://www.dating-service.com/blog/920/watch-out-for-dating-scams/feed/ 0 To Fee Or Not To Fee? – Free vs. Pay Dating http://www.dating-service.com/blog/738/to-fee-or-not-to-fee-free-vs-pay-dating/ http://www.dating-service.com/blog/738/to-fee-or-not-to-fee-free-vs-pay-dating/#comments Sat, 09 May 2009 11:13:59 +0000 Alison http://www.dating-service.com/blog/?p=738 It’s pretty hard to find a reputable dating site that doesn’t charge some sort of fee to its users. Of course, for most of these sites the fee is for “premium” membership, whatever that means. The question in my mind has always been “is it worth it?”

The answer to this question depends on a whole lot of other factors beyond just the cost itself (which is important, given the tough economy and the fact that most people don’t have nearly as much extra money sitting around as they did before). Before you take the plunge and type in your credit card information, think for a moment about a) what you’re really getting for the money, and b) whether or not you really need whatever it is you’re going to get.

For instance, does the extra fee give you extra access to more potential matches? Does it make your own profile stand out more on the website? Is it necessary in order for you to be able to contact members? Or is there some other real benefit to forking over more of your hard earned money?

If you’re going to pay, my advice is to start with the minimum subscription period that is offered. Also make sure you read the small print carefully (make a copy of the terms), and pay special attention to any auto-renewals clauses. You want to make sure your card is not going to be auto-billed once your subscription expires. This way, if your credit card does get auto billed when your membership ends, you’ll have legitimate grounds to dispute the transaction with your credit card company. If it’s in the terms and conditions, there’s not much you can do.

Of course the dating site will make it sound like a terrific deal, but you need to determine this for yourself. They’ll also push really hard to sign you up for long term fees by dangling a big discount in front of you. My advice is to avoid the long term fees whenever possible because you simply won’t know if you’re getting your money’s worth until you pay the money and start using the site; by the time you figure out if it’s money well spent or not it’s too late to get any back.

Here are some of the pros and cons of free vs. pay dating sites for you to consider.

The pros of free dating services

  • You’ve nothing to lose – you can simply leave if you don’t like it.
  • Your credit card won’t get hit with unsuspected automatic subscription renewals.
  • There are now plenty of great free sites to choose from.

The cons

  • Free dating sites tend be over populated with men, often with questionable motives for being there.
  • Free sites often fall short on user support and customer care.
  • Since there’s no payment record, it’s much easier for people to remain completely anonymous and untraceable.
  • Many have distracting and annoying advertisements.

To fee or not to fee… that is the question. What’s the best answer for your budget and your needs?

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]]> http://www.dating-service.com/blog/738/to-fee-or-not-to-fee-free-vs-pay-dating/feed/ 2 Computer Transmitted Diseases? A New Love Bug http://www.dating-service.com/blog/681/computer-transmitted-diseases-a-new-love-bug/ http://www.dating-service.com/blog/681/computer-transmitted-diseases-a-new-love-bug/#comments Sun, 08 Feb 2009 11:47:52 +0000 Julie http://www.dating-service.com/blog/?p=681 When you’re browsing through love profiles online, you might be blinded by the love. You might find that all of your potential love interests seem to be into you, so you’re willing to do anything – even catch and pass on a dangerous love bug.

A computer virus.

Just like other more intimate moments, you need to make sure you’re protecting yourself and others from viruses that plague the online dating world. Even if you’re certain your computer is clean, another person’s computer may not.

And not everyone is exactly what they seem to be.

First of all, never, ever click on any links in emails from others you don’t really know. These can be routes into your computer for phishing attacks and hackers. Yes, this means you even need to avoid those cute-sy e-cards that everyone is sending. They can be virus-toting time bombs.

It’s also a good idea to avoid giving out your personal information to anyone – especially password information. While this should be common sense, you need to realize that hackers know how vulnerable you might be as a struggling single.

But you need to make sure they don’t get what they want – your money and your data.

To further protect yourself, make sure your email address for your online dating account isn’t your ‘real’ email address. Sign up for a free account with Hotmail, for example, to keep your life and your dating separate. This will only hinder cyber attacks more.

You can be safe and clean from this modern love bug. And don’t say we didn’t warn you!

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]]> http://www.dating-service.com/blog/681/computer-transmitted-diseases-a-new-love-bug/feed/ 1 Been Out of the Dating Game for a While? http://www.dating-service.com/blog/102/been-out-of-the-dating-game-for-a-while/ http://www.dating-service.com/blog/102/been-out-of-the-dating-game-for-a-while/#comments Wed, 16 May 2007 01:30:11 +0000 Julie http://www.dating-service.com/blog/102/been-out-of-the-dating-game-for-a-while/ The truth is that with people living longer and divorce numbers rising, more people are returning to the dating game than ever. And this new breed of baby boomer daters is finding that the rules have changed for them.

Dating for those that are back in ‘the game’ has become more complicated. Not only do you have to worry about online safety, but you also have to learn about how to use the online dating systems that are now the hottest place to meet someone new.

It’s a whole different scene.

But that doesn’t mean that you can’t have fun doing it. Daters that are just coming back to the problem of finding a new date need to keep these things in mind:

  1. If you don’t meet a person in person, they might not be who they say they are.
  2. You CAN meet a good person online, if you’re honest and open to talking with others
  3. Get to know someone before you meet them in person
  4. If you have anything that you do not like or do not want in a date, be sure to say so.

Though you might not have someone to set you up with the perfect man or woman, you can play your own matchmaker with online dating. Just be clear about what you want (and what you don’t want) to find the right person for you.

Sure, the rules have changed, and the playing field has become a little scarier, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun along the way.

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]]> http://www.dating-service.com/blog/102/been-out-of-the-dating-game-for-a-while/feed/ 1 A New Way For Online Dating? http://www.dating-service.com/blog/77/a-new-way-for-online-dating/ http://www.dating-service.com/blog/77/a-new-way-for-online-dating/#comments Thu, 11 Jan 2007 21:38:59 +0000 Julie http://www.dating-service.com/blog/77/a-new-way-for-online-dating/ With all of the horror stories that have been associated with online dating, is there any way to be sure that the person you’re talking to online is really the person they say they are? Well, there is now.

At eLove.com, you’ll have to head into one of their local offices in order to get screened before becoming a member of the site. This allows members to have their identities verified as well as their pictures – no more submitting pictures that don’t really look like you. This also allows you to feel certain that you know the person on the other end of the communication online.

You can also tape a dating message that will be shared with other members and KNOW that the person that’s interested in you isn’t married already. In the screening process, this will be checked and rechecked. eLove is certainly not the first or the only online dating service to screen members. True.com and Honestyfirst.com screen all potential members to ensure they are not married, or criminals, while dreammatches.com offers members the option to have their profiles certified. Members know the certified profiles belong to genuine people.

Another interesting aspect of the eLove.com service is that you can only view more members online when you respond to people who are interested in you. This means that you’re going to be guaranteed responses and so is everyone else. Think of it as eLove is providing you with an icebreaker to get things rolling in the right direction. Who knows? Maybe you’ll talk to someone you normally wouldn’t have, but end up meeting just the right person for you?

And with the criminal background checks, you can be sure that you’re meeting people that are truly interested in dating, rather than any other ill intentions.

eLove may have just stumbled on the perfect blend of dating service and online dating service – one that looks out for your safety as well as your success.

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]]> http://www.dating-service.com/blog/77/a-new-way-for-online-dating/feed/ 3 You Don’t Have to Meet Them, Do You? http://www.dating-service.com/blog/53/you-dont-have-to-meet-them-do-you/ http://www.dating-service.com/blog/53/you-dont-have-to-meet-them-do-you/#comments Sat, 21 Oct 2006 12:15:24 +0000 Julie http://www.dating-service.com/blog/53/you-don%e2%80%99t-have-to-meet-them-do-you/ The world of technology has opened up a whole new can of worms for dating situations. It might be months before you ever see anyone in person or you might not meet them for longer. Is there something wrong with this way of dating?

With all of the talk about internet safety and dating, you might be hesitant to meet that special someone, so why not take it off of the computer screen and into another medium – the phone?

While you might want to be a bit careful with the ever-present Caller ID systems (try getting an unlisted number or blocking your phone number before you talk), talking on the phone can give you a better sense of the person that you have been virtually chatting with. It will also bring a new level of interaction to your blossoming relationship and create a new level of intimacy as well.

There are also webcams that you can use to start seeing each other when you’re talking – if you’d like. The point is that when you’re not quite ready to meet someone, but you’re definitely interested in trying something new with someone that you’ve met, go get your phone out or look into free internet phone services.

You might be surprised to find that your phone calls add up to love.

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]]> http://www.dating-service.com/blog/53/you-dont-have-to-meet-them-do-you/feed/ 0 Are You Really Safe on the Internet? http://www.dating-service.com/blog/51/are-you-really-safe-on-the-internet/ http://www.dating-service.com/blog/51/are-you-really-safe-on-the-internet/#comments Thu, 05 Oct 2006 19:12:05 +0000 Julie http://www.dateatlas.com/blog/51/are-you-really-safe-on-the-internet/ When you’re dating online, the last thing that you’re thinking about is your identity. Well, maybe you are. But it’s not in the same way as everyone else on the Internet might be thinking of it.

There are thieves out there. Lots of them. On the Internet, where everyone can be an anonymous as they want to be, you are taking a risk when you go online to meet people.

And I’m not just talking about basic online safety either or trying to prevent meeting up with stalkers or violent criminals.

Identity theft is becoming more and more common on dating sites. When you’re giving our your personal information, many people are able to see it, see your picture, and see how they can use this information to get into your credit cards, bank accounts, and more.

But what can you do? You can’t lie about who you are because that defeats the whole purpose. You would have to head back to the bars to date again. Sigh.

Here are some quick tips for staying safe and staying online:

  • Don’t list last names that are visible to the public
  • Change your birthday slightly – like the year, for example
  • Don’t identify where you work or where you went to school

In short, don’t have a profile that’s filled with personal information. You can even list your address as near to the city that you actually live in, then reveal the real location when you are comfortable. Read more about dating safely.

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]]> http://www.dating-service.com/blog/51/are-you-really-safe-on-the-internet/feed/ 0 Safe to Date? http://www.dating-service.com/blog/24/safe-to-date/ http://www.dating-service.com/blog/24/safe-to-date/#comments Tue, 08 Aug 2006 14:29:27 +0000 Julie http://www.dateatlas.com/blog/?p=24 While it might seem that online dating safety tips are the hot topic for discussion these days, are you paying attention?

The Internet is a faceless world and because of that anonymity, it can be difficult to spot someone who might not have the best intentions for a relationship – or who might be truly dangerous. You don’t have the opportunity to see their eyes or listen to their tone of voice – and honestly, you don’t really know if their name or their picture is really them.

Is online dating doomed then? Not by a long shot.

Here are some tips that you can use to make sure that you’re staying safe as you search for the right match.

  • Don’t give out personal information (address, last name, workplace)
  • Don’t meet up with someone too quickly
  • When you do choose to meet up in person, have a friend come with you or choose a public place
  • If you feel like something’s wrong, it probably is – discontinue talking to the person
  • Don’t believe everything you see/hear
  • When you feel that you are being harassed, let the online dating site monitors know – they can alert other members
  • Establish a long running communication with a person before you decide to meet up – become friends first and then decide if you trust them enough to take it to the next level
  • Be honest in your profile – don’t write things that you don’t meet (you can attract the wrong person!)

While this might all seem like common sense, the faceless nature of the Internet can make everyone seem like a great person, but this isn’t necessarily the case.

When in doubt, be safe first. There are plenty of honest people who go to online dating sites; you just have to be patient and find them.

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