For centuries, it seems, singles have been looking for their match in bars. We’re not sure how the practice got started, except for the fact that alcohol can sometimes help people get over their fears of talking to someone they don’t know. But, past that, the idea that you can meet your true love in a bar is a huge myth; though it seems to be one that people still subscribe to.

In fact, in one study, just 9% of women and 2% of men reported ever finding a relationship in a bar. That pretty much says that it’s no better place to find a relationship than, say, going to church. In fact, going to church might be a better way, because you would, theoretically at least, immediately have your faith in common with someone you met at church. In a bar all you can count on having in common is alcohol.

Now, we’re not trying to discourage you from hitting happy hour Friday night with your friends after work. It’s a great way to relax, unwind and have some fun with your buddies. If you like to dance, going to a dance club is a great way to meet some new people or connect with your friends.

The important message here is to view going out to the bars and clubs for what it really is: a fun way to hang out with your friends. If you’re relying on the bar scene to help you meet your one true love, you’re likely to be very disappointed. And, to make matters worse, if you do make a match in a bar, it’s less likely to pan out than matches you make elsewhere because it’s typically based solely on looks and fueled by drinking.

So, look for some new ways to meet people. Take a class in something you’re interested in, like cooking, photography or a foreign language. Join a club or take up a sport. You’re more likely to meet someone you can really be compatible with – and you can save happy hour for your friends.

Dating Essentials Alcohol, Bars, Church, Hobbies, Singles

In recent years, we’ve seen some dating gurus come and go. You know the ones I mean; they offer their advice on how to attract the opposite sex via an e-book that you can purchase off the internet. But, do singles really need to pay for dating advice? And, are these people really “experts”?

I suppose the answer to this, like so many other things, is yes and no. There are a few people who may need tips on meeting other people and on what to expect from the club scene. Those who are extremely shy may benefit from some confidence building tips and from some “opening lines” that can help them get a conversation going.

The downside to these kinds of programs, in addition to their cost, however, is that using their techniques may make you come across as a “player”. If your goal is to be a player, that’s fine. However, if your goal is to meet your soul mate, these techniques may actually hinder you.

What most of us are looking for is a person with whom we can really have a connection. It’s only possible to truly connect with someone when you’re being yourself.

So, skip the pricey dating gurus and focus on letting people get to know the real you. If you want to spend some money, spend it on joining an activity club for singles or on an online dating site. There’s plenty of free dating advice on the internet in blogs just like this one that can help you overcome shyness and be more prepared to meet new people.

Dating Essentials Advice, Attraction, Self Confidence

Most of the time I write about the positives in dating, but today I’m going to talk about the negative. You know, those dates you never should have gone on in the first place. Here are the top five worst reasons to date somebody.

• Looks. Ok, we’ve all done this. And, sometimes it works out well because, as luck would have it, we find we have lots in common with the walking Ken or Barbie. But, when that happens, it is just that: luck. Beauty fades quickly when you find you have nothing in common.
• They seemed just like your ex – This one will disappoint you every time. Get over your ex – don’t try to replace him or her.
• They are your best friend’s ex – Ok, so maybe you’re not going out with them because they’re your best friend’s ex, but your friend has said that they don’t care. Unless they dated this person years ago and have gone on to find the love of their life since then, they don’t mean it when they say it’s ok. You’re risking a friendship on this one.
• Dating your boss – In many companies, it’s against policy and will get you fired. But, even if it isn’t technically against the rules; it’s a bad idea. You’ll make enemies of your coworkers, and be in a very bad spot if it doesn’t work out.
• Dating a subordinate – Just like dating your boss, dating someone who reports to you at work is asking for trouble. And, if you break up with them, and they happen to be vindictive; you could be looking at a sexual harassment charge.

Dating Essentials Beauty, Boss, Exes, Work