When we meet someone we really like, the focus is often on getting a first date. Once you go on that date, the relationship either goes further or it usually ends pretty abruptly. So, how do you handle a first date in order to make it more likely you’ll get a second? Here are seven things you should do if you’re really interested in getting that second date.

• Plan something to do – A first date activity makes both of you feel comfortable and gives you an automatic topic of conversation. Skip the cocktails idea for something more engaging.
• Don’t expect too much – This date should be about getting to know each other and nothing more.
• Be yourself – Don’t try to impress your date. Just look for common ground and enjoy yourself.
• Keep it short – It’s much better to have a short first date that leaves both of you more interested, than to have such a long evening that you run out of things to say.
• If you’re interested, let them know – If you had a good time and would like to see them again, say so. Just don’t be a clingon.
• Nothing more than a kiss. No matter how much fun you both had, anything more physical than a kiss risks putting the other person off.
• Ask them out. Don’t assume that the other person will take the lead. If you want to go out again, and you’re pretty sure the other person had a good time, too, it’s ok to ask at the end of the date. Or, call in a day or two.

Getting a second date should only be your goal, of course, if you really see a connection that at least leads you to believe that you’d have fun again. But, if you see that connection; don’t hesitate.

Dating Essentials First Dates, Relationships, Self Confidence

The New York Post just published an article about online dating that gives the following statistics, as compiled by OKCupid:

• Men are on average 2 inches shorter than they say in their profiles
• Women are an inch shorter.
• About 50 percent of daters lie about their weight.
• Almost everyone exaggerates their income by 20 percent

So, are you a liar, too? If so, it’s time to question why you’re lying. In many cases people lie online to attract more partners, (though I’m not certain what in the world an inch or two of extra height does for you), thinking that by the time they meet in person, the other party will like them so much that the lie won’t matter, or in the case of income, that the other person won’t find out.

But, lying is a dangerous game. It doesn’t really matter if you never meet them. But, if you find a person who could be “the one” your little white profile lies could really come back to haunt you.

I once went out with a guy I met online who lied – a lot- about his weight. His profile picture was one taken from several years before, when he weighed about 50 pounds less.

Now, I didn’t really care what the guy weighed. He was very well kempt, dressed well, and overall was reasonably attractive. What I had a problem with was the lie. It immediately made me wonder what else he lied about, and why he didn’t think he was good enough at his real weight. Needless to say, the first meeting didn’t go all that well, and I’m sure he left thinking I was shallow and thought he was fat.

So, next time you’re tempted to lie, consider the worst case scenario of being found out. Is it worth the risk?

You can read the NY Post article here.

Dating Essentials Lies, Online Safety, Personal Profiles

People have been meeting their significant others at work for decades now. After all, we tend to spend a lot of time at work, especially when we’re single, so it’s often the place where we meet the most people. But, is it a good idea to date a coworker? Here are four questions to ask yourself.

• What’s your company policy? It’s less prevalent today, but there are still a few companies that forbid dating between coworkers. If your company is one of them, you have to weigh your options. If you’re very discreet, maybe no one will find out, but if you get caught, you could both lose your jobs. If he or she turns out to be “the one”, and you decide to get married, how will you handle it?
• Is the person you’re interested in your supervisor or subordinate? This is forbidden in almost all companies. And even if it isn’t strictly against the rules, it’s dangerous territory. As a boss, you risk a sexual harassment charge if you break the relationship off. As a subordinate, you risk unfair treatment by the boss if you’re the one to break it off.
• How will you feel about seeing this person every day if it doesn’t work? Even when there is no reporting relationship, you may still feel awkward at work if it doesn’t work out.
• Are You Willing to Be the Brunt of Office Gossip? If people find out, they’re gonna talk. Just be sure you can handle it. Eventually of course, if you say very little, they’ll move on to another topic.

Work can be a great place to meet someone. Just be sure you’re prepared for the many different things that can happen when you date where you work.

Dating Essentials Company Policy, Meet People, Work