It’s the often dreaded, often unspoken question for new couples during the holiday season. Will we be together, or go our separate ways, or the big day?

Unfortunately for this question, I can’t really give you any clever advice. It’s time to be honest. If you have family, you usually spend the holidays with that family, so the question becomes whether or not to take each other along.

For some couples it will be a pretty easy decision. Either you’re both planning to spend the holiday with your family and you know it’s too soon to “meet the parents” or you’re both certain that you want to be together on the big day, so you’ll work out schedules to make it happen.

But, in some relationships, one person feels “further along” in the relationship than the other, or one partner just has a crazy family and isn’t in a hurry for the introduction. That’s why I say it’s time to be honest.

Don’t avoid the discussion. In fact, the sooner you have it, the better. Otherwise, all your December dates will be clouded with the unanswered question. So, get it out in the open so that you can move on.

If you are taking your new love interest to meet your family, give both sides plenty of preparation. This is not a time when anyone needs a big surprises.

If you’re going to meet your new love interest’s family; make a good impression. Even if you break up later, you’ll never regret making a good impression. If you get married, you’ll always regret making a bad one. Take a gift for the parents, and try to fit in without being presumptuous.

Happy Holidays,daters!

Family Christmas, Family, Holidays

Thanksgiving is upon us, and this time of year can be a little tricky if you’re seeing someone new. Some people tend to avoid inviting their new flame to any personal or family events for fear of overwhelming them or of implying an intimacy that they may not yet feel. Yet, even at the earliest stages of dating, it’s hard to let Thanksgiving pass by unremarked. Here are some ways to enjoy November even if you’re not ready to take your new flame to a huge Thanksgiving celebration.

• Cook a traditional dinner before or after the holiday. If you’re a whiz in the kitchen, whip up a holiday dinner before or after the holiday to share with your new love interest. You may not choose to include all the fixings, and you may not even choose to cook a turkey. But a nice home cooked dinner together as your own Thanksgiving celebration is nice. It might be fun to cook it together, too.
• Consider a more laid back “fall” date. Enjoy a drive in the country to take in the fall color or go on a fall hayride with a group.
• Build a fire in the fireplace and watch a great classic movie together, complete with some pumpkin pie and apple cider.
• Eat Thanksgiving dinner together with a group of friends. If neither of you are planning to visit relatives for Thanksgiving, spending the day together is far less stressful. Consider hosting or attending a Thanksgiving dinner for friends instead with your new love interest. If no one wants to host, remember that lots of restaurants offer a traditional Thanksgiving buffet that requires no work at all.

There’s no reason to be stressed out about how to appropriately share the holidays with a new flame. Just take some time to plan ahead and you’re sure to both enjoy the holidays stress free.

Family Date Ideas, Food, Holidays, Thanksgiving

As the holiday season approaches (yes, it’s almost that time of year again) singles face a whole range of challenges. This is the time of year when society sends out all sorts of messages about how the “normal” way of being is to be happily involved with someone special, spending time with your loving family, and generally enjoying all of the benefits of being in a happy, loving, stable, meaningful relationship.

In other words, it’s a terribly difficult time for singles whose live don’t match up with this (impossible) ideal scenario. So what should you do about it? How can you avoid spending another holiday season feeling miserable or out of place? The key is to plan ahead.

1. Resolve right now not to buy in to the holiday hype about loving relationships, family, and the like. Whether you are in the early stages of dating someone or not dating anyone at all at the moment, make the choice to set aside the “Hallmark version” of the holidays and focus instead on approaching this time of year with the mental attitude that you’re just fine the way you are.

2. Think ahead about what you want to do on the actual holidays themselves. Do you want to spend time with extended family? Get together with friends? Get out of town and go on vacation? Focus on what you really want to do and then get started making plans to actually do it.

3. Stay flexible with your expectations. This is especially important if you’re dating someone but the relationship is not yet overly serious; don’t assume you’re going to spend the holidays together, but don’t assume you’re not going to spend them together, either. Try letting go of expectations for what “should” happen and just go with the flow of the relationship as it progresses naturally through the next couple of months.

The holidays can be difficult for singles to face, but if you plan ahead and keep a healthy mindset they can be fun and rewarding!

Family Family, Holidays