Dating Tips | Dating Service.com » Family http://www.dating-service.com/blog Advice and Tips for Online Dating Sun, 12 Feb 2012 09:01:11 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Are We Spending the Holidays Together? http://www.dating-service.com/blog/1206/are-we-spending-the-holidays-together/ http://www.dating-service.com/blog/1206/are-we-spending-the-holidays-together/#comments Tue, 14 Dec 2010 15:54:06 +0000 Alison http://www.dating-service.com/blog/?p=1206 It’s the often dreaded, often unspoken question for new couples during the holiday season. Will we be together, or go our separate ways, or the big day?

Unfortunately for this question, I can’t really give you any clever advice. It’s time to be honest. If you have family, you usually spend the holidays with that family, so the question becomes whether or not to take each other along.

For some couples it will be a pretty easy decision. Either you’re both planning to spend the holiday with your family and you know it’s too soon to “meet the parents” or you’re both certain that you want to be together on the big day, so you’ll work out schedules to make it happen.

But, in some relationships, one person feels “further along” in the relationship than the other, or one partner just has a crazy family and isn’t in a hurry for the introduction. That’s why I say it’s time to be honest.

Don’t avoid the discussion. In fact, the sooner you have it, the better. Otherwise, all your December dates will be clouded with the unanswered question. So, get it out in the open so that you can move on.

If you are taking your new love interest to meet your family, give both sides plenty of preparation. This is not a time when anyone needs a big surprises.

If you’re going to meet your new love interest’s family; make a good impression. Even if you break up later, you’ll never regret making a good impression. If you get married, you’ll always regret making a bad one. Take a gift for the parents, and try to fit in without being presumptuous.

Happy Holidays,daters!

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]]> http://www.dating-service.com/blog/1206/are-we-spending-the-holidays-together/feed/ 0 Great November Dates http://www.dating-service.com/blog/1201/great-november-dates/ http://www.dating-service.com/blog/1201/great-november-dates/#comments Mon, 29 Nov 2010 10:22:55 +0000 Alison http://www.dating-service.com/blog/?p=1201 Thanksgiving is upon us, and this time of year can be a little tricky if you’re seeing someone new. Some people tend to avoid inviting their new flame to any personal or family events for fear of overwhelming them or of implying an intimacy that they may not yet feel. Yet, even at the earliest stages of dating, it’s hard to let Thanksgiving pass by unremarked. Here are some ways to enjoy November even if you’re not ready to take your new flame to a huge Thanksgiving celebration.

  • Cook a traditional dinner before or after the holiday. If you’re a whiz in the kitchen, whip up a holiday dinner before or after the holiday to share with your new love interest. You may not choose to include all the fixings, and you may not even choose to cook a turkey. But a nice home cooked dinner together as your own Thanksgiving celebration is nice. It might be fun to cook it together, too.
  • Consider a more laid back “fall” date. Enjoy a drive in the country to take in the fall color or go on a fall hayride with a group.
  • Build a fire in the fireplace and watch a great classic movie together, complete with some pumpkin pie and apple cider.
  • Eat Thanksgiving dinner together with a group of friends. If neither of you are planning to visit relatives for Thanksgiving, spending the day together is far less stressful. Consider hosting or attending a Thanksgiving dinner for friends instead with your new love interest. If no one wants to host, remember that lots of restaurants offer a traditional Thanksgiving buffet that requires no work at all.

There’s no reason to be stressed out about how to appropriately share the holidays with a new flame. Just take some time to plan ahead and you’re sure to both enjoy the holidays stress free.

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]]> http://www.dating-service.com/blog/1201/great-november-dates/feed/ 0 Planning Ahead For Holiday Season http://www.dating-service.com/blog/890/planning-ahead-for-holiday-season/ http://www.dating-service.com/blog/890/planning-ahead-for-holiday-season/#comments Sun, 06 Dec 2009 14:32:30 +0000 Alison http://www.dating-service.com/blog/?p=890 As the holiday season approaches (yes, it’s almost that time of year again) singles face a whole range of challenges. This is the time of year when society sends out all sorts of messages about how the “normal” way of being is to be happily involved with someone special, spending time with your loving family, and generally enjoying all of the benefits of being in a happy, loving, stable, meaningful relationship.

In other words, it’s a terribly difficult time for singles whose live don’t match up with this (impossible) ideal scenario. So what should you do about it? How can you avoid spending another holiday season feeling miserable or out of place? The key is to plan ahead.

1. Resolve right now not to buy in to the holiday hype about loving relationships, family, and the like. Whether you are in the early stages of dating someone or not dating anyone at all at the moment, make the choice to set aside the “Hallmark version” of the holidays and focus instead on approaching this time of year with the mental attitude that you’re just fine the way you are.

2. Think ahead about what you want to do on the actual holidays themselves. Do you want to spend time with extended family? Get together with friends? Get out of town and go on vacation? Focus on what you really want to do and then get started making plans to actually do it.

3. Stay flexible with your expectations. This is especially important if you’re dating someone but the relationship is not yet overly serious; don’t assume you’re going to spend the holidays together, but don’t assume you’re not going to spend them together, either. Try letting go of expectations for what “should” happen and just go with the flow of the relationship as it progresses naturally through the next couple of months.

The holidays can be difficult for singles to face, but if you plan ahead and keep a healthy mindset they can be fun and rewarding!

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]]> http://www.dating-service.com/blog/890/planning-ahead-for-holiday-season/feed/ 0 Top Rated Dating Sites For Single Parents http://www.dating-service.com/blog/880/top-rated-dating-sites-for-single-parents/ http://www.dating-service.com/blog/880/top-rated-dating-sites-for-single-parents/#comments Sun, 22 Nov 2009 07:53:41 +0000 admin http://www.dating-service.com/blog/?p=880 It’s never easy to be a single parent. Along with all of the difficult issues that come with parenting alone (or sharing responsibilities with an ex), add in the challenges of getting back into the dating scene and you start to get an idea of the uphill battle so many single parents face.

Online dating sites (especially those targeted squarely for single parents) have taken a lot of the stress and difficulty out of dating for this unique group of singles. Finding someone to go out with who understands what it’s like to deal with single parenthood every day can be a huge thing; it gives you common ground to talk about and a common set of responsibilities to keep in mind when planning your dating activities.

What’s more, when you choose an online dating site for single parents you’re going to connect with others who don’t mind the fact that you have children – something that you cannot say for sure with other more general dating sites! And because many single parents also face financial challenges, dating sites for single parents typically make it relatively easy and affordable to get back into dating without breaking the bank.

Some of the top rated dating sites for single parents include:

If you’d prefer to stick with a dating site that is broader (eHarmony.com, Match.com, etc.) be sure to choose one that offers you the option of noting that you’re a single parent and allows you to focus on other single parents as your potential matches. With a bit of research and effort, every single parent can find the right online dating site to meet their unique needs!

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]]> http://www.dating-service.com/blog/880/top-rated-dating-sites-for-single-parents/feed/ 2 Single With Children http://www.dating-service.com/blog/777/single-with-children/ http://www.dating-service.com/blog/777/single-with-children/#comments Thu, 04 Jun 2009 05:31:47 +0000 Alison http://www.dating-service.com/blog/?p=777 Let’s face it, finding someone special and dating when you’re a single parent is tough. There are so many things to consider, from your kids’ feelings to your own baggage and more, it might seem easier to just a) forget about dating and crawl back into your hole, or b) not say anything about having kids until you’re a little ways into a dating relationship. Neither of these is a good option, so what’s a single parent to do?

As hard as it may be, never lie, mislead, or conveniently forget to mention that you have a child/children. This approach never turns out well for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is that you’re starting out a relationship with a lie. Not a good way to establish a successful relationship!

It’s far better to focus on looking for potential partners in ways and in places where a single parent with children does not stand out as unusual or undesirable. A good place to start is with one of the online dating sites that have services catering to single parents, such as:

www.match.com – Not strictly a single parent site, but with a strong sub-community of singles with children

www.singleparentmatch.com – Separate from match.com, but catering solely to helping single parents meet each other to form friendships and/or relationships

www.singleparentmingle.com – Another online dating service focused on single parents, this one has a number of extra features available like compatibility matching, chat rooms, forums, blogs, and more.

So if you’re a single parent, don’t be afraid to get out there and start meeting new people. There’s lots of ways to do it and online dating services to help you along!

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]]> http://www.dating-service.com/blog/777/single-with-children/feed/ 0 Maybe You Don’t Have to Date… http://www.dating-service.com/blog/676/maybe-you-dont-have-to-date/ http://www.dating-service.com/blog/676/maybe-you-dont-have-to-date/#comments Mon, 02 Feb 2009 06:24:21 +0000 admin http://www.dating-service.com/blog/?p=676 The single life is something we mock. We talk about how horrible it is to celebrate holidays on our own, how terrible it is to walk into a party without a date, and how awful it feels when our families ask us (once again) if we’re ever going to find the right person.

But maybe those already in couples don’t understand.

Being single is an exciting time, a time in which we have more choices, more independence, and perhaps even more fun than when we’re in a couple. We get to learn about ourselves, who we are and what we truly enjoy. This is a time we all should embrace, rather than a time to try to avoid.

Instead of making a New Year’s resolution to find your true love, maybe it’s time to fall in love with your single life first. Not only is it going to help you enjoy the moments you experience now, but you’re also going to be able to embrace that future partner with the confidence of knowing who you really are.

When we simply focus on finding someone else, we can forget to think about what we like, what we want, and who we are. And that’s when we end up in relationships that are unbalanced and just wrong for our needs.

For today, be okay with being single. Be okay with being by yourself. After all, you do have options and you do have a life outside of dating. Don’t you?

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]]> http://www.dating-service.com/blog/676/maybe-you-dont-have-to-date/feed/ 0 Giving Thanks to Online Dating http://www.dating-service.com/blog/191/giving-thanks-to-online-dating/ http://www.dating-service.com/blog/191/giving-thanks-to-online-dating/#comments Thu, 27 Nov 2008 15:08:50 +0000 Julie http://www.dating-service.com/blog/?p=191 Thanksgiving is here already, reminding us to cherish the things we have in our lives as well as the people we have in our lives. It’s a time to gather with family and friends, eat, and simply be merry.

So, where does that leave your new relationship?

Typically, this is the point of the year where couples bring home their significant others to meet the folks. And as a result, it’s a tense time of year, filled with arguing, discomfort, and often post-turkey breakups.

To avoid this kind of mood killer for your holiday, you have a few options.

  • Go for it – That’s right, take your new online date to the table for turkey dinner. After all, you have a great story about how you met, assuming the dating site isn’t anything too risque.
  • Go for part of it – If your family can handle it, take your date over for just a dessert plate. This way, your date will be able to meet everyone, without it being a full dinner situation.
  • Go separately – If the relationship is still a little new, simply go your separate ways on this special day and commit to seeing and meeting the families at the next major holiday. No pressure, no tension – just more time to see if this person is truly someone you want to bring home.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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]]> http://www.dating-service.com/blog/191/giving-thanks-to-online-dating/feed/ 0 Dating with Kids – What to Say and What to Do http://www.dating-service.com/blog/148/dating-with-kids-what-to-say-and-what-to-do/ http://www.dating-service.com/blog/148/dating-with-kids-what-to-say-and-what-to-do/#comments Thu, 28 Feb 2008 18:41:45 +0000 Julie http://www.dating-service.com/blog/148/dating-with-kids-%e2%80%93-what-to-say-and-what-to-do/ In this world of divorces and various dating and life circumstances, there may come a point when you are going to have children and be dating. Contrary to what you may have heard, the two can mix.

What you need to realize with your children is that there are two rules to always abide by:

1. Always be honest.

2. Only tell them what they need to know.

Yes, when you’re starting to date again after divorcing their other parent, you want to make sure they know that while you’re seeing other people, this doesn’t diminish the role of their ‘actual’ parent.

Let them know that you want to enjoy spending time with another person. It’s not that you don’t love their other parent, but that you want to see others.

From there, going into detail about why you aren’t with the other parent is unnecessary. If the child asks, diplomacy is going to be the best advice, especially when your child is young. What you can also do is let your actions speak louder than words.

Be nice to their other parent no matter what.

Be nice to the new dates you have, and introduce them to your children.

Listen to your child’s opinion of your dates.

This doesn’t have to be a sticky situation. What you need to do is to not make a big deal out of this dating situation and simply show your children how happy you are because of getting out of the house.

And how happy you are with them as a result. Smooth sailing.

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]]> http://www.dating-service.com/blog/148/dating-with-kids-what-to-say-and-what-to-do/feed/ 3 Should They Meet the Family? http://www.dating-service.com/blog/137/should-they-meet-the-family/ http://www.dating-service.com/blog/137/should-they-meet-the-family/#comments Thu, 13 Dec 2007 23:34:26 +0000 Julie http://www.dating-service.com/blog/137/should-they-meet-the-family/ ‘Tis the season for more family gatherings than ever before, so is this the best time to bring your online dating match-up to tag along?

Some dating advice says sure, they’re just like any other date.

But when you’re new to talking to each other, you might want to rethink this option.

First of all, meeting anyone’s family is a big deal. And a situation in which everyone is going to feel nervous. If your family isn’t big on the online dating concept, you might spend more of your time explaining why you’re certain your date isn’t a stalker than actually talking to each other.

If you don’t already know a lot about the date, you might be fielding angry looks from them and from your family as you try to manage a coherent sentence about their background and hobbies.

Meeting the family also has marriage connotations which might leave someone feeling like this was more than just any other date – even if you just met. You might be asked when the wedding is and just how long you’ve known this person which can become awkward after the third or fourth time.

In the end, it’s your call on whether to bring a date to grandma and grandpa’s, but you might want to consider leaving them out – it’s a gift they’ll be sure to treasure.

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]]> http://www.dating-service.com/blog/137/should-they-meet-the-family/feed/ 0 Holiday Breakups – Love Them or Leave Them? http://www.dating-service.com/blog/130/holiday-breakups-love-them-or-leave-them/ http://www.dating-service.com/blog/130/holiday-breakups-love-them-or-leave-them/#comments Thu, 08 Nov 2007 17:48:46 +0000 Julie http://www.dating-service.com/blog/130/holiday-breakups-love-them-or-leave-them/ Relationships that go badly are no fun for anyone involved, but add in the holiday season and you have a bit of a mess on your hands. While you want to break up with a person, is that really the best thing to do during the holiday season?

There are two schools of though on this: one, you could break up with them because when they realize that you were just holding out until after the holidays were over, it’s going to be doubly painful. Or two, you could break up with them when the time is right (okay, but not in the middle of a family dinner) and simply be known as the significant other who stole Christmas/Hanukah/Etc.

In the end, most professional therapist agree that sparing someone’s feelings for a holiday is not the right way to be in a relationship – breaking up is the right decision whenever it is the right decision, regardless of the holiday or the date.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t do it nicely.

Some things to avoid:

  • Breaking up during a planned gathering at a family member’s home
  • Telling anyone that you’ve going to break up with the person before you actually tell the person
  • Breaking up with them in a public place, over email, or over the phone

You might not get out of this breakup with a good reputation, but at least you’re being honest – and that’s going to count for something. Eventually.

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