Online dating is an increasingly popular way for eligible men to meet interesting woman, but, unfortunately, this avenue isn’t immune to the snap judgments and superficial filters commonplace in conventional dating. In fact, because dating sites allow women to effortlessly search, block, and favorite potential mates, creating the illusion of a never ending supply of suitors, guys must be especially careful when crafting their online dating personas to avoid immediate dismissal. Here are some top reasons why your profile might have women quickly fumbling for the back button.

1 – You sound unbelievable full of yourself

Resist the urge to treat your profile like a diary/resume, as you risk appearing painfully self-obsessed. Yes, we want to know more about you, but your 2,000 word essay detailing your ten year ascension into your perfect job just makes you sound pompous and self-aggrandizing. Instead, opt for more generalized language, like ‘successful financial planner,’ or ‘very happy with my job.’ This brings home the point, while still piquing our interests.

2 – Your picture is kind of creepy

Online dating has the distinct advantage of giving users full control of first impressions, making it almost inexcusable to display strange or unflattering pictures. Avoid pictures that were taken from an awkwardly low angle, that include your shower curtain as the backdrop, or that feature you in a fedora. Forgo the hard, aloof expressions best suited for male models, using instead pictures that showcase a warm, genuine smile. Try pictures from a night out with friends or from your best friend’s wedding, as you will likely exude personality and confidence. Just remember to crop, particularly if your buddy is slightly more attractive. And if you like to include body shots, please adhere to a 2:1 ratio of clothed to shirtless photos.

3 – You create unreasonably high expectations

Even a beautiful, confident woman may be taken aback by a laundry list of partner requirements, particularly if they’re mostly superficial. Instead, politely mention deal breakers, such as smoking or having nine cats, while describing a few of your preferences using welcoming language. (“Although, I appreciate women of all shapes, I find myself often attracted to curvy women.”) Refrain from posting any pictures with a svelte, devastating hot friend or ex-girlfriend, as this just invites women to see how they stack up. And, under no circumstances, mention by name any models or actresses who you think are the ‘ideal woman.’ Not only is it exceedingly unlikely you’ll woo her carbon copy, but you run the risk of sending away an attractive women with feelings of inadequacy.

4 -You sound stupid

Yes, you list your occupation as a civil engineer, but your grammar and syntax are deplorable. Is it fair to conclude that you’re unintelligent because you failed to use the past perfect tense while describing your recent vacation? No, but without the benefit of conversation or nonverbal cues, we are forced to use something to gauge your intelligence. So turn off caps lock, spell out any text shorthand, and take ten minutes to copy and paste text into a word processing document for spelling and grammar help. This way we can focus on what a great guy you are, not your inadequate use of punctuation.

5. You sound like you’re looking for sex

If you are actually looking exclusively for casual sex, feel free to skip this one. But for those men who are looking for something more, please be aware that certain words and phrases, such as ‘healthy sex drive’ or ‘enjoys being physical,’ send the message that a shallow, physical relationship is your main objective. Either you will attract women who seek that particular type of relationship or repel the ones who do not. Rest assured that any woman reading your profile assumes you like sex, so don’t feel compelled to needlessly reference your carnal desires. Instead, use that space to describe your most enduring personality characteristics that would make us swoon at the chance to be with you emotionally and sexually.

Remember that the real key to online dating is capturing a woman’s interest enough to set up an offline meeting. With some thoughtful editing and mindfulness to presentation, you can increase your chances of finding a wonderful mate.

Related posts

• January 26, 2012 -- How To Get the Boys Falling At Your Feet
• April 19, 2011 -- Mapping Out a Date
• March 22, 2011 -- Online Dating Profile: What Not to Include – Men Seeking Women
• October 10, 2010 -- Are You Who You Say You Are?
• April 22, 2009 -- Are You Off the Online Market?
• March 2, 2009 -- Upping the Odds With More Online Dating Profiles
• February 20, 2008 -- Does Your Car Actually Matter?

Your Username
Most people create an online username without paying too much attention to it, but it can have a big effect on how you come across to other members of the website. This is not that surprising when you consider that your username is often one of the first things that prospective dates will see when they encounter you. Choosing something original and quirky that reflects your personality can draw attention and spark interest.

Your Profile Photograph
If you do not include a photograph as part of your profile, it is likely that it will not receive too many views. Research has suggested that you are eight times more likely to be contacted by other members if you upload a good quality photograph. Most prospective dates will want to see what you look like before making contact with you. Make sure that the photograph is up-to-date. If you upload an older photograph to entice other members, you will not be able to maintain the pretence if one of your admirers wants to meet you.

Be Truthful
It is tempting to expand the truth or even lie to appear more interesting to prospective dates, but this is not the best idea. Lies and half truths are likely to catch up with you sooner or later. Even if this is not the case, being economical with the truth is not the ideal start for a new relationship.

Be Positive
Using active language can make you appear more confident and assertive to prospective dates. For example, you can encourage prospective dates to get in touch with you if they like your profile. It is often a good idea to include a list of qualities that you desire in a partner to discourage responses from members who would not be compatible with your requirements. At the same time, avoid listing the qualities that you do not want in a prospective partner as this can make you come across as too negative and choosy. Generally speaking, positivity will work wonders in terms of how you are perceived.

Your profile can make or break your online dating success, so it makes sense to spend time making it as good as you can. Most people will find that either their “about me” section or photos could be improved, but it is often hard to look at it objectively. If this is the case for you, ask a friend to look over what you’ve done and suggest areas that could be improved. A friend can often suggest or highlight positive aspects about your personality that you hadn’t thought of or weren’t even aware of yourself!

By Sally A

Related posts

• April 19, 2011 -- Mapping Out a Date
• March 22, 2011 -- Online Dating Profile: What Not to Include – Men Seeking Women
• April 20, 2010 -- Liar Liar Pants On Fire
• September 6, 2009 -- The Husband/Wife Match
• September 6, 2009 -- The Boyfriend/Girlfriend Match
• July 19, 2009 -- Genetic Profiling And Dating
• February 8, 2009 -- Computer Transmitted Diseases? A New Love Bug

• Resist the urge to talk about sex. Even if you’d like to let women know that sex is not a priority, try not to mention it. Talking about sex is important in relationships, but generally doesn’t go over well in cyberspace or during an initial contact.
• Don’t reveal that you are just getting out of a relationship. This may send the message that you’re emotionally unavailable. Women who read through dating profiles may indeed be willing to take a chance on love. However, they also need to know they’ll be valued for who they are and not a band-aid for your broken heart.
• Limit generic descriptions of yourself. If you can think of at least one other man who fits your profile description, then you need to beef it up a bit. Women want to know what makes you different.
• Refrain from talking about your financial status (even if you make a lot of money). Women might conclude that you define your self-worth by how much you make. This can be a big red flag for a lot of women.
• Fight the urge to include a web camera or cell phone picture of yourself (e.g. the ones where you appear distorted while holding the camera or cell phone). A professional photo is not necessary, but at least get someone else to take a more flattering picture of you.

While there is no guarantee that these tips will get you hundreds of potential dates, following them may help your profile stand out above others out there.

Related posts

• December 20, 2011 -- 5 Reasons Women Aren’t Impressed with Your Online Dating Profile
• September 26, 2011 -- Improving Your Internet Dating Profile
• April 19, 2011 -- Mapping Out a Date
• October 10, 2010 -- Are You Who You Say You Are?
• April 22, 2009 -- Are You Off the Online Market?
• March 2, 2009 -- Upping the Odds With More Online Dating Profiles
• May 11, 2007 -- A Kiss is Just a Kiss?

But even though we all know just about every online dating profile contains at least one lie or half-truth, how good are we at spotting that little lie? It turns out there is research out there that reveals the most common areas in which people lie, and not surprisingly there are some differences between what men lie about and what women lie about.

Men, it turns out, are most likely to lie about their income and their height. I suppose this isn’t too surprising, given how many women talk about looking for that “tall, handsome, wealthy guy” as their ideal dating partner. And if you have any doubts about whether this is true, the next time you’re online at a dating site take note of how many men claim to be at least six feet tall and have incomes of over $85,000 per year.

As for women, they too have weak areas when it comes to lying in their online profiles. The most common lies told by women are their weight and their physical build – surprise!

At least there is one area of common ground when it comes to not quite telling the truth in an online profile. Both women and men are just as likely to lie about their age, especially those who are over the age of 40. These are the people who are most likely to list themselves as in their mid to late thirties.

Don’t say you haven’t been warned!

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• September 26, 2011 -- Improving Your Internet Dating Profile
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• April 25, 2010 -- When You Don’t Feel A Spark
• April 19, 2010 -- Online Dating Gate Crashers
• February 8, 2009 -- Computer Transmitted Diseases? A New Love Bug
• November 17, 2008 -- Dating While Dieting – A Problem?
• June 23, 2008 -- Liar, Liar, Date on Fire?

The “I’m Looking for a Friend” Woman

First of all, no self-respecting woman wants to go onto a dating website for friendship. She wants to get married – that’s it. But there’s another possible explanation. If she’s specific about finding a ‘friend’ it can also mean she just wants to hook up with someone. Know what I mean?

The “I’m a Casual Type of Gal” Woman

The woman who posts pictures of herself hiking along the Grand Canyon? Take a closer look. She might profess to being an outdoorsy type of woman who’s ready for an adventure, but she’s still wearing makeup. Contradiction, anyone?

This woman is toting makeup in her hiking gear. And she’s not low maintenance. By any means.

The “I’m So Desperate You Can Smell It” Woman

This woman has listed in her profile all of the typical man things. She loves football, hanging out on the couch, and even gun shows. While there are women like this out there, if she doesn’t have anything girly on her profile, it means she just wants a man, like, NOW. RIGHT NOW.

Of course there are male types to avoid as well. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

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There are a few things you should look for in your dating buddy:

• Someone who is looking for love too
• Someone who has been successful on the site you’re using
• Someone who is positive
• Someone who will motivate you to take chances

You want someone to make sure you are buddy-ing up with someone who will push you to try things that you normally wouldn’t. That is, if you get rejected on the site by someone, your buddy is the one that tells you to try again anyway – not to give up.

You also want someone who is going to be completely honest with you when you need that dose of reality. If your profile needs work or you simply need to take more chances winking at people or emailing those that you like, your buddy should be telling you so.

Together, you just might find love and then you won’t need a dating buddy anymore – but you can then start being each other’s relationship buddy.

Related posts

• March 13, 2008 -- You Need a Dating Strategy – Now! Part Two
• January 18, 2008 -- Farmers Need Love Too
• September 26, 2011 -- Improving Your Internet Dating Profile
• September 9, 2010 -- Build Your Dating Confidence
• April 20, 2010 -- Liar Liar Pants On Fire
• April 1, 2010 -- Online Is Now Mainstream
• February 8, 2010 -- Battling The Winter Dating Blahs

Consequently, a lot of people are staying off line, but are also staying single.

The idea of background checks has become a popular selling point for sites like True.com.  By screening all of their singles, members of the site feel safer knowing that they are talking to the ‘real’ person they think they are talking to.

Or are they?

There’s a lot of discussion right now as to whether these background checks are actually all that effective.  After all, thieves and con artists thwart them in other situations, why is it so difficult to believe that they can’t slip past them here too?

Some people are crying ‘foul’ for these background checks as they generally are only a cursory check that doesn’t usually spot the liars.

But with potential new legislation making background checks necessary for online dating, is this combination of events setting up the online dating system for a fall?

If this legislation is enacted, more singles might come online, thinking that online dating is safer.  But since the checks are often meaningless, this might actually increase the dangers of getting online – more people = more problems.

In the next few years, this question is going to be something that people consider before searching for love online.  For if the checks in place aren’t really helping, then what’s the benefit to them?

Happy Valentine’s Day?

Related posts

• September 11, 2007 -- Taking a Flattering Photo for Your Online Profile
• April 17, 2007 -- Is Your Perfect Date a Perfect Con Artist?
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• March 8, 2007 -- Should Online Dating Be Controlled by the Government?
• January 11, 2007 -- A New Way For Online Dating?
• August 16, 2006 -- Describe Yourself Accurately
• July 26, 2006 -- Online Dating Success

The setting at this dating website is much more relaxed than at most other online dating websites. All ages can find love at this site (well, over 18 years old) and even try the site for 7 days without any charge.

Whether you’re a farmer, a cowboy or just someone who loves rodeos, you can find love at this fun and easy to use dating website. You can create a profile that describes your interests as well as what you’re looking for in a partner or just a Saturday night date.

You get to flirt with other members by sending a quick note through the FarmersOnly.com server – making it safe and fun to look for someone to date.

By including both Canadian and U.S. profiles, you get a larger dating pool than you might anywhere else. Plus, you get to read Barnyard Buzz and find out about the success stories that this online dating site made possible.

Love is in the straw too – no more searching for needles in the haystack.

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• June 27, 2009 -- Dating In A Terrible Economy
• February 8, 2009 -- Computer Transmitted Diseases? A New Love Bug
• March 13, 2008 -- You Need a Dating Strategy – Now! Part Two
• March 5, 2008 -- You Need a Dating Strategy – Now! Part One

Or does it?

Leave the winter blues behind you with online dating tricks like these:

Register at multiple dating sites – Not only will you get to talk to more people, but you’re going to increase your chances of meeting the right person.

Be the bold one – If you’re usually the one who asks the other person out, try something different and make the first move. And vice versa. If you find that you’re typically the one doing the asking, see if someone else asks you out first.

Change your online profile – While it’s not spring, why not spring clean your online dating profile? Add a joke or a list of what you got for Christmas. Create something fun that someone would want to read in order to get to know you better.

Make a goal – Whether it’s a date a month or a date per week, create goals for yourself to get you and your date out of the house. Just because it’s cold doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the weather. And with someone else to enjoy it with, you might forget about the wind chill.

Related posts

• December 21, 2010 -- December Dating Ideas
• February 8, 2010 -- Battling The Winter Dating Blahs
• May 18, 2009 -- Spring Fever Is Contagious
• May 30, 2007 -- MySpace as an Online Dating Tool
• April 6, 2007 -- Person.com
• December 28, 2006 -- Cell phone + online dating = True love?
• August 10, 2011 -- Don’t be This Gal if You Want a Second Date

So, what’s going on?

There are three main things that might be making you the date-less wonder right:

1. No picture

2.No sense of humor

3. No flexibility

Look, those who might date you want to see what you look like first. You need to put a good picture of yourself into your dating profile in order to give people something to consider. Just be yourself and smile. No cleavage or broad shoulders necessary.

In your profile, have you tried to be funny? When you’re all serious, it can seem like you’re not a lot of fun to be around – and who wants to date a person who’s just no fun? Try to include something quirky about yourself that someone might find amusing – for example, note that your favorite color is blue, but not royal blue because it reminds you too much of finger paint. Or maybe you could include your nickname and a story as to why you got that nickname.

Flexibility is the big problem in many dating profiles. When all you talk about is what you DON’T want in a date, you aren’t leaving a lot of options for prospective suitors. While there may be some things you won’t compromise on, try to leave a little room for new possibilities.

Related posts

• September 11, 2007 -- Taking a Flattering Photo for Your Online Profile
• June 9, 2007 -- Online Dating for Beginners
• March 14, 2007 -- Can You Take a Risk?
• August 16, 2006 -- Treat Your Dating Profile as a Job Interview
• August 16, 2006 -- Describe Yourself Accurately
• July 26, 2006 -- Online Dating Success
• September 26, 2011 -- Improving Your Internet Dating Profile