Just because you are getting older doesn’t mean that your husband will leave you for a younger woman, but it does happen sometimes. There are usually contributing factors when a man leaves his wife of many years for a younger woman. It is rarely about age only. After all, he is getting older too.

What makes men start looking at younger women?
Of course, younger women have a physical appeal that attracts men, but men are usually seeking attention. Men have a need for attention and like to be admired. The need for attention can be stronger as men become older. Women shower their husbands with attention, affection and admiration when the relationships are new. Couples fall into a comfort zone as they grow older together. Sometimes people become too comfortable with each other and take each other for granted.

Women may not shower their husbands with as much attention as they once did and men long for the days of affection and excitement. A man may look for attention elsewhere if his wife takes him for granted for too long. Younger women are often attracted to older men for stability and security. Older men are flattered by the attention lavished on them by younger women.

A marriage that’s fallen into a rut…
Men may also complain that after being married for so many years that their wives do not take care of themselves anymore. Women may stop fixing their hair or putting on makeup. A man may complain that his wife has put on weight and walks around in her bathrobe all day. He may say that she does not wear attractive or sexy clothes anymore. An older woman may have a decreased sex drive and her husband feels neglected by her lack of sexual desire. A man may think that his wife is no longer interested in him if she stops caring for her appearance and becomes distant.

There are several ways a man can nudge his wife into taking better care of her appearance. He can suggest that they go out on a date. She will then need to fix her hair, wear something nice and apply makeup. The husband can even take her shopping for a new outfit. The husband can suggest activities such as hiking, bicycling, swimming or nature walks to lose weight and become more physically fit. He could even suggest taking a class together such as dance, yoga or aerobics. The wife may be prompted to take more interest in her husband and herself if the husband puts forth extra effort. More romance and attention can also fuel the sexual flame.

Regaining his attention
A woman that notices her husband taking interest in a younger woman will need to put forth the effort to re-gain his attention. She can remind him how much she loves him. She can spend more time with him and encourage him to participate in activities that he enjoys. She should take care of her appearance and dress attractively so that her husband will take notice of her.

An overweight woman should embark on a healthy diet and exercise routine after consulting her physician. She should make her husband aware of the steps she is taking to lose weight and get him involved by asking him to participate. He can help coach her to reach her goals by providing her with positive reinforcement.

The wife can let her husband know how much she needs him and how helpful he has been. Helping each other can bring them closer together. They can have fun together and spark their relationship on all levels. The husband may then realize he doesn’t need a younger woman to make him feel admired and needed. He just needed his wife to step out of her comfort zone and love him like she once did.

Related posts

• October 13, 2011 -- How to get your ex back
• March 24, 2011 -- Remaining Friends After a Breakup
• June 4, 2009 -- You’re Just Not Feeling It – Now What?
• March 28, 2009 -- Fire Your Significant Other
• October 4, 2008 -- Is Breaking Up Really Hard to Do?
• June 3, 2008 -- You Aren’t Going to Fail When You Commit
• November 30, 2011 -- After the Affair – How to Move On

I’m talking about websites that provide additional information about people above and beyond what their online profile reveals. They basically fall into two categories. The first is that of “warning sites”. These include sites like Don’t Date Him Girl, WomanSavers and Date Raters. These sites essentially exist to “out” jerks and serial daters from those who’ve been scorned by them.

In some ways it’s a pretty good idea, but it’s certainly open to a lot of abuse and misinformation from people who probably got dumped because they were the ones who were nuts. Critics of these sites point out that the “accused” usually receives a devastating public defamation of character from a bitter spouse or lover without a shred of proof. In many cases, the person being accused is unaware of what is being written about them and does not have an opportunity to explain his or her side of the story, while the poster of the information can remain anonymous.

Once such information is “out there” in the World Wide Web, there’s usually little chance of removing it or correcting it, even if it is completely untrue. Nowadays, with the increasing practice of “Googling” to “find out” about a person, the information posted on such sites can have far reaching consequences for the recipient of the attack. For example, when he or she starts a new relationship (“Googling your date”), or even when they are searching for a new job (read about the increasing trend of “Bosses using Google” to find out about their employees).

The second type of site is more of a “rating” site. A good example of this type of site is Klout. Klout was not designed to rate people for dating purposes, but it could be used as such. Klout measures a person’s overall online influence based on Twitter, Facebook and several other variables. It looks at how likely, for example, content that you post on the web, such as your tweets and status updates are to be acted upon by other people. This type of rating system is much less subjective because it simply measures data, without taking into account the opinions of individuals.

So, what do you think? Are these sites a good idea or a bad one? Let me know this month. Meanwhile, I’ve got to come up with a memorable tweet to get my Klout score up.

Related posts

• November 30, 2011 -- After the Affair – How to Move On
• September 7, 2011 -- Is Cheating Learned Behavior?
• July 12, 2011 -- Will Google Plus be the New Dating Site?
• March 24, 2011 -- How to Forgive Your Spouse After Infidelity
• March 24, 2011 -- Possible Causes of Sexual Infidelity in a Relationship
• November 7, 2010 -- Ashley Madison – A Research Project?
• June 19, 2010 -- Online Dating, Social Networking, And Divorce Court

• Talking badly about your ex – No matter how bad he or she was, you have nothing to gain and a lot to lose by talking negatively about them. Actually, just don’t talk about them at all at first – good or bad. It just makes you look like you have a lot of baggage.
• Calling your new partner over and over again – Take it slow in the beginning – don’t overwhelm your new attraction with attention. You’re likely to look more like a stalker than a good match.
• Not calling your new partner if you said you would – If you don’t plan to call; don’t say you will. If you say you will call, do it – even if it’s to say that you’re not interested.
• Lying – Don’t lie about yourself. If the relationship continues, you’ll get caught. Then, you’re likely to have long term trust issues.
• Interrogation – Slow down already with the questions about how many kids he wants, ok? You can scare off a very nice potential partner by asking too many personal questions too fast.

Related posts

• September 9, 2010 -- Build Your Dating Confidence
• January 26, 2012 -- Why Men Leave for Younger Women
• October 13, 2011 -- Is She Playing Hard to Get? Decode Mixed Signals
• October 13, 2011 -- How to get your ex back
• August 10, 2011 -- Vulnerability Makes the Best Impression when Asking Someone Out
• November 18, 2010 -- Should I Pay for Dating Advice?
• October 17, 2010 -- Aiming for a Second Date

The vast majority of people have a few “false starts” along the way toward finding that special person; it’s almost inevitable, really. But how, exactly, are you supposed to handle those situations when you’ve dated someone once, twice, or even a few times, and you just don’t feel that “spark” of wanting to spend time with them anymore?

This is a big challenge because let’s face it, having to tell someone they’re “not your type” or letting them know you don’t want to continue dating is very, very hard. It’s tough to give that kind of honest feedback to another person and it’s tough to hear that kind of honest feedback from someone else. It might be tempting to avoid having that kind of straightforward conversation, but have it you must. It’s the only way to end the situation with dignity, respect, and integrity.

Here are some quick “do’s” and “don’ts” to help you through the process:

Don’t

• Lie about your reasons
• Break up via text message, Twitter, or Facebook
• Blame yourself for everything
• Get angry, defensive, or emotional

Do

• Be respectful and honest
• Be gentle with the other person’s feelings
• Explain your reasons clearly and succinctly

Do your best to part on reasonably good terms

When you don’t feel that spark for another person, remember it’s perfectly okay. Just deal with the situation honestly and then focus your attention on other opportunities to meet new people.

Related posts

• January 26, 2012 -- Why Men Leave for Younger Women
• October 13, 2011 -- How to get your ex back
• July 20, 2011 -- Facebook dating with Zoosk.com
• July 18, 2011 -- Badoo Continues to Grow
• July 12, 2011 -- Will Google Plus be the New Dating Site?
• April 19, 2011 -- 4 Signs Your Flame is Losing Interest
• March 24, 2011 -- Remaining Friends After a Breakup

Love is a pain, after all, right?

Here are some tips to make sure you’re not going to fall in love anytime soon:

• Don’t try to meet anyone – If you can’t meet the love of your life, you’ll never fall in love, after all. Makes sense, right?
• Don’t give any of your dates a second chance – If they screw up right once, they’re out of your life.
• Don’t listen to advice from your friends – Even though they might be completely honest, they’re not going to help you find someone new anyway.
• Don’t keep parts of your life secret – If you’re out on a date, air out all of your dirty laundry – and your deep dark secrets.
• Don’t listen to a word they say – Since they’re not going to be a partner for you, why bother listening to what they say?

Choosing to stay single is empowering and something you can start right now. Just follow this advice and you will certainly not get asked on a date again. Whew.

Related posts

• February 2, 2009 -- Maybe You Don’t Have to Date…
• September 5, 2006 -- Big Age Gaps Needn’t Stop Love!
• May 22, 2011 -- Are You Really Committed to Finding Love?
• January 10, 2011 -- Making a Resolution May Help You Find a Mate
• November 18, 2010 -- Should We Break Up?
• November 18, 2010 -- Should I Pay for Dating Advice?
• October 30, 2009 -- Dating In Later Life

First of all, it’s probably not your fault. You just didn’t know the ‘rules.’ (No, not those other rules.)

Rule #1 – Don’t get too personal

While you might want to profess your entire life story to this new person, it’s not generally the best idea. So, leave the stories about your exes at home and try to talk about them instead.

Rule #2 – Don’t be rude

Always bring enough money to pay, cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze, don’t talk with your mouth open, etc. All of those manners that your mother tried to teach you? Use them. And don’t even think about arguing that ‘Well, this is just the way I am.’ It’s still rude and it’s certainly not going to win you any points.

Rule #3 – Don’t try to be crazy

Somewhere along the line, the idea that quirky = good got passed along to singles around the world. So, people began to try to be overly funny or weird as they thought it might appeal to a prospective partner.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Being odd, if that’s a part of your personality, is fine, but being weird for the sake of being weird – not so great. Leave your singing of the names on the menu and rhyming everything that you say at home, locked far away from sunlight.

Be yourself!

Related posts

• August 10, 2011 -- Vulnerability Makes the Best Impression when Asking Someone Out
• November 3, 2010 -- Top 5 Worst Reasons to Date Somebody
• November 22, 2009 -- Top Rated Dating Sites For Single Parents
• November 29, 2008 -- When Do You Talk Politics on a Date
• May 7, 2008 -- So, What are the Online Dating Rules?
• January 12, 2008 -- When Should Your Ex Become Your Ex-Ex?
• December 18, 2007 -- Are You Ready for Love?

And then a few days pass.

And then another few days pass without hearing anything back.

What did you do wrong?

Chances are good that you didn’t do anything wrong and that you are just the victim of a normal fact of life – the prospective partner just didn’t pan out. They might not have been interested in you or they may very well have found someone else.

You just never know.

But instead of crying over this date, let’s take a moment to reassess where things went wrong.

Did you ask them out after only a few emails? Many people don’t. Instead, they carry on these long and involved conversations over email that last months, only to find themselves not hearing back from this person they really thought they connected with.

Have you heard of the phrase – all talk and no action? That’s exactly what you’re doing wrong.

You need to be ready to meet this person in person after a few messages. This will save you both a lot of trouble as you will decide immediately whether or not this person is worth your time. If not, no harm done. If so, then you can start a real relationship.

After all, it gets lonely sitting in front of a computer night after night. You need more.

And when you ask for more, you never fail.

Related posts

• January 26, 2012 -- Why Men Leave for Younger Women
• October 13, 2011 -- How to get your ex back
• June 4, 2009 -- You’re Just Not Feeling It – Now What?
• March 28, 2009 -- Fire Your Significant Other
• April 19, 2011 -- 4 Signs Your Flame is Losing Interest
• March 24, 2011 -- Remaining Friends After a Breakup
• January 10, 2011 -- 5 Relationship Myths

There are a few things you should look for in your dating buddy:

• Someone who is looking for love too
• Someone who has been successful on the site you’re using
• Someone who is positive
• Someone who will motivate you to take chances

You want someone to make sure you are buddy-ing up with someone who will push you to try things that you normally wouldn’t. That is, if you get rejected on the site by someone, your buddy is the one that tells you to try again anyway – not to give up.

You also want someone who is going to be completely honest with you when you need that dose of reality. If your profile needs work or you simply need to take more chances winking at people or emailing those that you like, your buddy should be telling you so.

Together, you just might find love and then you won’t need a dating buddy anymore – but you can then start being each other’s relationship buddy.

Related posts

• March 13, 2008 -- You Need a Dating Strategy – Now! Part Two
• January 18, 2008 -- Farmers Need Love Too
• September 26, 2011 -- Improving Your Internet Dating Profile
• September 9, 2010 -- Build Your Dating Confidence
• April 20, 2010 -- Liar Liar Pants On Fire
• April 1, 2010 -- Online Is Now Mainstream
• February 8, 2010 -- Battling The Winter Dating Blahs

And what’s even funnier about it is that these sites aren’t actually set up to be dating sites, as such. But they’re working out what way.

But does it work? Sometimes, it certainly does. If you’re single, why not try to message your old flame to see what he or she is up to? It can’t hurt and if they never respond, that’s no loss to you. But if they do respond, you might be able to restart an old conversation.

Chances are high that one of you is going to be in a relationship, making something new a bit tricky or even impossible, so you need to be ready for these situations as well. But when you’re both single, online dating through networking sites like MySpace, Facebook, and others is a good way to find out just who else might be looking for you too.

Related posts

• January 18, 2009 -- Why the Economy Can’t Touch Online Dating
• June 15, 2009 -- Social Networking Meets Online Dating
• February 2, 2009 -- Maybe You Don’t Have to Date…
• October 19, 2008 -- Social Networking and Online Dating – A Match Made in Heaven?
• January 12, 2008 -- When Should Your Ex Become Your Ex-Ex?
• December 18, 2007 -- Are You Ready for Love?
• October 26, 2007 -- Another Vote for Online Dating?

Things that may have been little annoyances at the start may turn into much more serious issues later on. These can appear in many different guises, from partners who are abusive, partners who belittle you in public, who don’t care or show you respect, to those who are jealous, or who are possessive of your time.

So what keeps someone in such a relationship? The most common reasons they don’t just split are:

• Fear of change
• Fear of being alone
• Denial of the situation
• Guilt, especially when kids are involved
• A belief that the partner will change or go back to how they once were
• Putting up with them, because ‘when they are nice they are very nice’
• Being attracted to a ‘dominant’ personality

Unfortunately, getting into these types of relationships in the first place can be a repetitive pattern for some people. How ever much you love someone, it is not a reason for staying in a bad relationship. Don’t waste your life. Get out while you still have time and regain your self-respect. Getting out of a bad relationship is difficult to start with, but it is well worth the heartache and turmoil. Once out, the sunlight that was missing from your life will return, and a few months down the line, you’ll be amazed with yourself as to why you lived in such a situation for so long.

Related posts

• March 24, 2011 -- Are You Trapped in a Possessive Relationship?
• March 28, 2009 -- Fire Your Significant Other
• October 26, 2008 -- The Truth about Dating Violence
• August 1, 2008 -- Take Love Lessons from the Other Singles Out There
• December 18, 2007 -- Are You Ready for Love?
• November 22, 2006 -- What To Do When a Date Goes Bad
• July 6, 2006 -- Is It Easy To Get What You Want?