This type of person feels they must control everyone and every situation in order to compensate for their own feelings of inadequacy. Relationships with controllers become stagnant because they cannot grow when one person seeks to dominate the other. There are several red flags that will indicate a relationship with a controller. Most controllers will not display these warning signs at first for fear that the relationship will end immediately but as soon as they feel they’ve reeled in their catch, the warning signs will begin to appear. Look for the warning signals.

Shallow Emotions
Controllers have very shallow emotions. They can attach and detach with amazing speed. They show very little remorse following a breakup, divorce or even the death of a spouse and can become involved in another relationship very quickly. They may find another romantic interest in as little as a couple of weeks or even days. They often display shallow emotions toward their loved ones, such as parents and even children.

Once a controller sets her sights on a love interest, she moves in quickly. She may outwardly declare her love and start talking about marriage in as little as 2 to 4 weeks of dating. Soon, she may announce that she is pregnant. Male controllers act in much the same way, usually proposing marriage soon after the start of the relationship.

Self-Centered
Controllers are very self-centered individuals that have a “me” mentality. A controller wants all of the attention to be focused on her. She has to be the center of her partner’s universe and she perceives anyone as a threat that may divert the partner’s attention away from her. The controller resents the time her partner spends with his children, family or friends and will try to control that aspect of his life.

Controllers have little regard for the concerns of others, focusing almost exclusively on their own needs. They often appear to act as though they are deeply concerned about others, displaying actions such as calling friends to ask how they are feeling, but in reality their behavior is only a mask to hide their own self-centered concerns.

Entitlement
Controllers have an enormous sense of entitlement. They believe that they have a right to be the center of attention. They feel they deserve respect, power or acknowledgement. They feel that they have the right to do whatever they want to do and that others should meet their demands. If their desires or demands aren’t met, they often react by creating a scene or punishing their partner with the “silent treatment.” Their behavior can be compared to a child that has a temper tantrum because he doesn’t get his way.

Isolation
A controller may fear that her partner’s friends and family will detect their controlling behavior and reveal her true intentions to her partner. In order to prevent this, she will attempt to isolate him from his friends and family. Controllers are natural manipulators and they will use manipulation tactics in order to exert control. The two most common manipulation tactics that controllers use are to make grandiose promises or threats.

They have a strong need to be in control and if they feel they are losing control they become threatened. They will try to get their partner to become angry at friends or family in order to create a rift and keep the partner isolated. The controller may tell the partner that friends or family are jealous of him or using him. A controller may go as far as telling her partner that his friend made a pass at her to get the friend out of the partner’s life. Controllers will also get angry if the partner’s friends or family come to visit.

A controller will try to prevent her partner from participating in outside activities. She will attempt to persuade her partner to abandon all hobbies and interests that she can’t have total control over. If her partner does participate in any activity, she will insist on accompanying him. A controller will even insist on taking the children along, knowing that her partner will have to focus his attention on her and the family, thereby preventing him from completely enjoying the activity. If the controller cannot prevent her partner’s participation in outdoor interests, she makes sure that she is present, so that she still has some degree of control.

Interrogation
People who are controllers would make excellent interrogators because they question their partners as if they had committed a crime. A controller will question her partner incessantly. She will want to know his whereabouts, who he talked to, what he did and all the details. A controller will call her partner several times a day, even when he is at work. If he doesn’t answer his phone right away, she will interrogate him.

Controllers often like money because they are self-centered but they also resent the amount of time their partners spend at work. Controllers have paranoid tendencies and will look through phones, wallets and other personal items for evidence of cheating. A controller may even go as far as following her partner around, spying on or stalking him.

Physical Abuse
Although most controllers exert control by using emotional abuse, some also use physical abuse. Both male and female controllers may hit, kick, slap, punch or otherwise physically abuse their partners. A controller may also display violent behavior by breaking items or destroying property to intimidate the partner.

Blame
Controllers love to play the blame game. They always blame the partners for everything that goes wrong in the relationship or more accurately, when they don’t get their way. When the controller doesn’t get her way, she becomes verbally abusive and tries to destroy what is left of her partner’s self-esteem. Then suddenly her personality will become sweet and docile. She will say she’s sorry, although she doesn’t really mean it and start making promises she doesn’t intent to keep. The next time she doesn’t get her way, the cycle of blame will begin again.

Know-it-All
Controllers are often know-it-all personality types. A controller will correct her partner all the time, in effect like she is disciplining a child. She sees herself as superior to her partner and others. She may insult his speech, dress or other behavior. Controllers act self-confident even though they have very low levels of self-esteem and often berate their partners in front of other people. They also tend to be arrogant and quick to make sarcastic remarks. The partner often feels as though he is walking on eggshells for fear of interrogation or never being able to do enough for his controlling partner.

Listen to Family and Friends
People are often blinded by their relationships and don’t always see the truth. People close to the partner of a controller are often able to see through the manipulative behavior. If the majority of the partner’s family and friends do not like the controller, it may be wise to listen. While it is always true that there will be people that don’t like others, in the case of a controller type relationship, family and friends are usually right. It is definitely wise to listen to what other people say regarding the controller and take it into consideration.

Fear of a Break-Up
If the partner has finally had enough and decides to get out of the relationship, the controller will panic and try a multitude of tactics to keep the partner from leaving. They will go to extreme lengths to stay in control of the relationship. A controller may beg, plead, cry or threaten the partner to make him stay. She will promise to change and may even threaten to commit suicide if he leaves.

If the partner does manage to escape from the controller, he should keep his distance and not return to the relationship. Once a person has left a controller, if he returns, the controller will make it even more difficult for him to leave again. Once a person has left a controller partner, she will call repeatedly and may even call the ex-partner’s friends and family members, begging them to tell the ex-partner to come back to her. She may send the ex-partner gifts or even show up at his workplace and cause a scene, begging him to come back.

Escaping the grasp of a controller personality type can be extremely difficult and stressful. In some cases, it may even be necessary to get a restraining order against the person. People with a controlling personality need professional assistance and should seek the help of a qualified therapist.

Resources and further reading:
Stanford.edu
MentalHealthMatters.com
Way2Hope.org

Related posts

• November 30, 2011 -- How to leave a failing marriage
• August 3, 2011 -- How to Know When You’re Dating a Loser (And Possible Abuser)
• July 12, 2011 -- Massachusetts Teen Victim of Dating Violence
• March 24, 2011 -- Are You Trapped in a Possessive Relationship?
• March 24, 2011 -- Remaining Friends After a Breakup
• October 26, 2008 -- The Truth about Dating Violence
• December 11, 2006 -- Dump or be dumped

CATCHABLE: A woman who has her own interests is good.
SKIPPER: A woman who relies on you to make her feel good about herself.

When she says she can’t see you this weekend, but offers an alternative day, she’s showing you that she is interested in you. She’s also showing you that she can keep her word to people, even if that means keeping her promise to herself to get her homework done. A busy woman might be legitimately hard to get, but worth the extra effort.

On the other hand, a woman who declines your invitation and is unwilling to commit to an alternate plan is either not that interested or she’s playing mind games. Either way, you lose. Set your scope on someone who deserves your attention.

CATCHABLE: A woman who refuses to date you while working things out with him.
SKIPPER: A woman who agrees to date you while she’s still seeing another guy.

Any woman who keeps her eye out for the next best thing that comes along isn’t worth a second glance. Does this need any further explanation? Don’t fall for her sad story. Even though you dream of being the prince that saves her from that mean ol’ dragon, once she’s in your arms, you’ll become the next fire-breathing menace in her life. She’s not mature enough to handle relationships on her own, and that includes the one you get into with her.

If she lets you know she is interested but wants to take care of unfinished business with a soon-to-be ex, ask her how long it will require. If her answer is “I don’t know,” or she expects it to take more than two weeks, step aside and date women who are available to be with you, because this one’s not ready to give up her baggage. She needs to end that relationship and take time to heal from it before jumping into a new one. A sound rule of thumb is to wait until she’s been single a week for each month they were together. If she was with him more than two or three years, give it at least six months.

CATCHABLE: A woman who says she’s interested, and shows it.
SKIPPER: A woman who claims she’s interested, but doesn’t always act like it.

If she flirts with other guys when you’re not around (or even when you are) after you’ve let her know it bothers you, either she’s not that interested or you are too sensitive. If she’s into you, she’ll stop if she really has been crossing a line. If she claims you’re being too possessive, she might be right, but she’s not right for you. Set her free to find someone who gets turned on by such behavior and find someone who shows that she can appreciate your values.

Flirting isn’t the only way a woman can act disinterested. Some women are coached to believe that if they are unavailable to you, it will pique your interest. It’s true that too much togetherness can breed boredom, so don’t panic if your sweetheart decides to go out with other friends instead of seeing you this weekend. Conversely, if you discover that she’s unavailable too often, ignoring your calls and texts, spending time with an ex, or doing things that violate your principles, be open about your expectations. Recognize if her reaction is anything short of respectful disagreement. She doesn’t have to have your values, but she does have to care about them, doesn’t she?

If she is inconsiderate in any way, carefully consider her response. An interested woman will take your concerns seriously. A manipulative one will become defensive. If her response is to find something to blame you for, or to deny your perceptions, it’s a subtle indicator that she doesn’t see you as her equal. Instead, she thinks her own values and interests are more important than yours. It might not seem like a big deal right now, but after months or years of this attitude coming at you, it will blossom into a major power struggle over minor issues – one that is unlikely to ever get resolved.

A woman who is attracted and interested won’t give you mixed signals. If you’re confused by your current girlfriend’s behavior, these three principles will help you get things back on track or let you get off that train. You won’t be that sad sucker who elicits pity from his friends. Instead, you’ll have the confidence that comes with knowing that you won’t get taken for a ride.

By Kathy Batesel

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Because there’s no such thing as a match that’s perfect in every way, a good first step is to consider what would be essential to you in a partnership, and what would merely be desirable or preferable. Your own lifestyle can provide you with a lot of clues as to what aspects of life are indispensable and what aspects you’d be willing to compromise on. Is your basic speed of life casual or fast? Are you more often social or private? Do you place a lot of value on possessions, or are you content to just earn enough money to live on? If your attitude towards money is casual, then you can probably spare yourself a lot if disappointment down the road if you avoid dating highly motivated career people.

It’s true that differences between partners can energize a relationship and create chemistry. It would be a mistake to look for a partner who’s “just like you”. But any relationship – and particularly a committed one – is going to occupy a lot of the time that is available in your life. You’ll want to devote that time, or at least a good portion of it, to doing things that you enjoy. Take a look at your hobbies and interests, and think about the kinds of things you like to do when you’re alone. If you value fitness and being outdoors, then it may be a stretch for you to see yourself with a homebody who loves to read and do crosswords.

It’d be worth your while to investigate your personal values in other, less obvious areas. Think of the conversations that you typically have with friends. Do you like to get deep and philosophical, or do you prefer to keep things light? Do you tend to be talkative, or do you enjoy having some space for introspection? If you’re the quiet type, you might enjoy having a partner who’s a little more verbose. On the other hand, if you can’t get any quiet then this might not be the person for you.

It can also be fruitful to explore your personal beliefs about relationships in general. Does your vision of a partnership involve sharing every moment together, doing a lot of things independently, or something in between? Is physical appearance more or less important than intelligence, or simple kindness? The answers that you uncover to these sorts of questions can point you towards the flavor of relationship that you prefer. That, in turn, will help you to recognize it when it comes.

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• March 24, 2011 -- Are You Trapped in a Possessive Relationship?
• January 10, 2011 -- 5 Relationship Myths
• December 14, 2010 -- Delivering Breakup News
• November 3, 2010 -- Open Communication
• October 17, 2010 -- Aiming for a Second Date
• October 10, 2010 -- Are They “The One”?
• August 31, 2010 -- Realistic Dating Expectations

A partnership is, in effect, a commitment between two people to keep growing together. This means that problems will be identified, dragged out into the open, and talked about. Any conflict can really be seen as simply an obstruction that stands between two people and the love that they feel for each other. Thus, it may not represent a “problem” at all, but rather an opportunity to get back to the love. We can take advantage of the moment, then, by honestly expressing our own point of view, listening respectfully to what our partners have to say, or both.

Desires, expectations, hopes, and dreams…all these things should be openly acknowledged, both to ourselves and to our partners. Otherwise, disappointments will fester beneath the surface. Disappointments are really there to tell us that there were certain ways in which we expected love and consideration from our partners and didn’t receive it. We can pretend that we’re all right with the status quo. But if we’re really not, then that dissatisfaction will find its outlet, in large or small ways that undermine whatever good feeling exists within the relationship. The same thing will happen if our intimate partners don’t tell us what’s on their minds.

Freedom of expression should always be allowed – indeed, encouraged – on both sides. And any time is a good time to talk. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a long discussion. In fact, one of the best tactics can be to quickly clear up misunderstandings as soon as they occur. That way they can’t accumulate, over time, into bigger issues. If you ever find yourself reacting to your partner with anger that’s out of all proportion to whatever is happening in the moment, this is a good sign that you’ve been carrying around accumulated frustration that should’ve been aired sooner.

Most of the reasons why relationships fall into a rut can be resolved with good communication. Disturbing influences need to be called by name. Doing so will rob them of much of their power. Ignoring disturbances never makes them go away, and both partners – particularly if they live together – will feel the simmering tension and uneasiness. This can only be diffused if both of them are willing to talk it out.

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Language
One of the main causes of conflict in a relationship, especially a new one, is the language differences. Miscommunication is an issue at the best of times but if you don’t both speak the same language there is a lot more potential for misunderstanding. If you are both speaking in a third language this can also be difficult because one partner is usually more fluent than the other.

Whatever language you do decide to converse in, the key is to be as patient as possible. Always make sure you speak clearly and remember not to speak too fast. In addition, mumbling, making jokes or using phrases that only a native would understand will all put pressure on your relationship. Over time you will both improve your language skills but in the beginning it is very important to be careful what you say and how you say it.

On the other hand, if your partner does speak a different language it can be a great opportunity for you. Learning another language has many benefits including improving your mind (and your CV!) but there is nothing better than to hear ‘I love you’ in your native tongue.

Cultural and religious differences
You may find that your new partner comes from a country with very strong traditions and significant cultural differences from your own. Try to learn as much as you can about where you partner is from, what the culture is like there and in particular what their religious beliefs are.

It can be quite surprising what is considered acceptable or not in another culture, especially where women are concerned. Potential causes of conflict could be what you can wear, what you can say and to whom, whether or not you can go places on your own and what is considered to be your role in the household. Some cultures are strict and their traditions can be jarring if you come from a liberal country.

To avoid or at least minimise potential problems, it is worth learning as much as possible about their culture as soon as possible. Be very careful with what you say and how you act at the start of the relationship. Don’t change who you are but be a little cautious until you know what might cause offence and what is acceptable.

In both instances flare-ups are usually accidental. One of you may have done or said something without thinking or without even realising it might cause offence. When this occurs just take a step back, think before you start speaking and just remember that it probably wasn’t done on purpose. Not many people want to start an argument or want to antagonise their partner so try to be as understanding as possible and try to resolve the problem before the situation deteriorates.

Cross-cultural dating is a great opportunity to expand your learning. Your new partner can teach you so much about his or her country, culture, language, traditions and religion. If you can overcome these first few problems, it is a great chance to learn more about the world we all live in.

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How can you identify if your love life is at risk from financial infidelity? What are some factors which signal the presence of deception?

Personal Risk Factors
Individual beliefs and attitudes about money issues play a key role in the fostering of financial infidelity. Couples which fit the high-risk group tend to find communication about finances a challenge, and will lapse into reticence the moment such matters crop up. This inability to maintain an open and calm communication about money indicates a weak relationship lacking in trust, emotional connection, and a healthy bond.

Common behavioral patterns which indicate a personal high risk situation include:

• Regularly lying about daily expenditures and purchases,
• constantly fighting with your partner when discussing money issues, and
• hoarding money for secret purchases without telling your significant other.

Social Pressures
Society has reached a point where it is often common practice to assess your partner’s worth based on his or her financial status and ability to attain material items. Couples who use money to flaunt their worth are highly likely to engage in power struggles with their partners, as they attempt to keep up with the Joneses. Such individuals will embark on a journey to acquire high-ticket items such as designer wear, exclusive addresses, and luxury cars at all cost.

People who strongly believe in meeting the demands of such societal pressures are often disappointed in relationships where their partner appears to be less wealthy than expected, or who fails to be in sync with their material goals. If the problem is not duly addressed, the unhappy individual eventually gets driven into committing financial infidelity.

External Risk Factors
Stressful situations in the professional field, family environment, and personal life, also play a crucial role in influencing the act of financial duplicity.

Spouses who have been caught in the wave of the economic recession and lost their jobs, a change in household dynamics where the breadwinner role is switched, and a significant increase in salary compensation due to a job promotion – these are common scenarios which have contributed to treacherous money behaviors in relationships.

Family factors such as a recent huge purchase of a new asset, property downsizing, and major medical bills due to sickness in the family etc, typically act as a catalyst in cultivating financial infidelity.

The personal lives of couples can also have a huge impact on their financial stability. Couples who have undergone a major shift in their relationship status from singlehood to marriage soon discover that deception is slowly taking root in the household. Similarly, personal experiences of mid-life crisis or fear of aging have resulted in an upsurge of financial treachery.

Should you find any of the above factors and scenarios familiar, there is no need to panic – understanding and identifying financial infidelity early in its stage development can help you and your partner open up a safe and honest dialogue with each other, and give the problem a quick nip in the bud before permanent damage sets in.

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1. Your friends don’t like him. It’s mutual. Most people hesitate to criticize a friend’s new honey, so if your friends say something negative, you should treat this like a flashing red siren of “this guy is trouble.” Likewise if he is antagonistic towards them. Abusers will typically try to isolate the victim from any possible means of support. Alienating all of your friends is part of his master plan. Lose him instead.

2. Alternately, if he’s too charming with your friends. You might be thinking “flirtation” but there’s another possible motive…basically, convincing everyone how great he is so that if there’s a big fight, everyone will blame it on you. This is another isolation move. It is typically employed by men rather than women, but has been done by both genders. It’s wonderful if you all get along…but your new SO should not be better buddies with your buddies than you are.

3. He expects you to drop everything to go do what he wants. All the time. Sometimes things come up. Sometimes people plan surprises. But if it’s a constant pattern, especially if it’s accompanied by emotional storms or coldness when he doesn’t get his way…it’s nothing more than a control tactic. Other control tactics include checking up on you constantly, invading your privacy, and making you feel guilty. Kick him to the curb.

4. Instant commitment. This is not about love, it’s about making sure of you. Anyone would do. Another ploy most often used on women, but you’d be surprised how many men out there are susceptible to this. If you’ve been dating less than six months and he wants to move in together, back away slowly. If you just started dating and he starts talking marriage, run.

5. He’s rude to people in service positions, or from whom he doesn’t want anything. It’s the old “look how he treats the waiter” adage…which is old and tried because it’s true. If he’s sweet as pie to you, but nasty to the valet, he is not a good person. As soon as he feels he has his hooks in you, he won’t be sweet any more.

6. He puts you down. Ever. The earlier in the relationship, the worse it is. But it’s never good. Contempt and love do not go together.

7. He crosses serious lines, then apologizes, then does it again. Abusers will test potential victims to see how much they will tolerate. If this is a recognizable pattern in your relationship…get out of there. It will only get worse…and worse, and worse.

8. Your gut is telling you something is wrong. Do you find yourself making excuses for him? To your friends, or to yourself? Do you feel a sense of relief when he isn’t around? (Does he check up on you?) If so, your instincts are trying to tell you something. Listen to them.

Related posts

• November 30, 2011 -- How to leave a failing marriage
• July 12, 2011 -- Massachusetts Teen Victim of Dating Violence
• October 26, 2008 -- The Truth about Dating Violence
• January 2, 2012 -- 10 Warning Signs of a Controlling Relationship
• May 5, 2011 -- Match.com Lawsuit Serves as Reminder
• March 24, 2011 -- Are You Trapped in a Possessive Relationship?
• March 24, 2011 -- Remaining Friends After a Breakup

Make Plans the Old-Fashioned Way – via Telephone
Setting up a date via e-mail can certainly be a convenient way to re-confirm a time and place, but if you’re e-planning every hook-up, things can get pretty chilly. A keypad just can’t express warmth and enthusiasm the way your voice can – so pick up the phone and try connecting the old-fashioned way, at least some of the time.

Tone Down the Texting
If you’re spending hours on end texting each other from the comfort of cyberspace – you’re playing it safe, but not necessarily smarter. Too much digital-flirting can lead to boredom and loss of interest if the two of you don’t take it to the next level. Use your cell to boost the romantic vibe, and set stage for something hotter – in person.

Keep Your Eyes on Each Other – Not your Laptop
Playing video games or surfing the web can be fun, relaxing ways to hang out together, but watch for digital over-drive. Too much screen time can pose serious problems when your honey starts to feel ignored or underappreciated. Learn to read the signals – when either of you starts getting bored or restless – it’s time to log-off and focus on each other.

Resolve Conflicts in Person
All couples fight now and then, but the way you resolve disagreements can truly make or break the relationship. E-mailing and texting might seem like hostile-free zones but, in reality, they can land you in even more hot water. The written word only goes so far in expressing hurt feelings, and misinterpretations can lead to an emotional avalanche, if you don’t have a chance to hash things out face-to-face.

Don’t Air it all on Facebook
If you’re a facebook junky in the habit of updating your every move, you may want to think again when it comes to your love life. Though it’s fine to post some of your latest pics, keep more intimate feelings to yourself. Mature relationships require discretion and privacy, and posting lots of personal details may embarrass your partner or trivialize a blossoming romance.

Of course, digital hook-ups have plenty of upsides; texting or e-mailing can help you stay connected and even ignite some post-date fireworks. Just don’t let your keypad sub too often for more intimate forms of communication, or you’ll miss important opportunities to know each other better, work through differences and, ultimately, deepen the relationship.

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But with choice comes responsibility, and we’re now left with the complex challenge of finding partners with whom we can share trust, common interests, values, and attraction, among other things. As the high incidence of divorce attests to, this is not always easily done. But there are some crucial ways in which the Internet can come to our aid in the modern day and help us to meet people with whom we have true compatibility.

It can be easy to take for granted, now that the prevalence of online dating sites has made the experience almost commonplace, but the opportunity to put our very core values, interests, beliefs, and dreams upfront in a profile for all to see is something without precedent in human history. It is a tool that, if used conscientiously, can help us to hone our quest for a mate and hold out for true compatibility. We’re better able to take fate into our own hands instead of waiting for miracles. “Soul mates” have managed to find one another in the past, and they’ll no doubt continue to do so, but for many of us such experiences can seem like something out of a fairy tale. Nowadays we’re empowered to consciously seek what in the past was often a matter of chance or “fate”.

The Internet also enables us to get to know and appreciate the inner self of a person without being distracted by physical attraction. In this way, we can bypass one of the major pitfalls of dating – one that has led to the demise of many a marriage. It’s easier for two people to ignore (or be oblivious to) differences and incompatibilities between them when they’re strongly attracted to each other physically. When interacting with prospective partners at the safe remove that the Internet affords us, we can take our time and make rational choices without excitement and hormones disturbing our clarity of mind.

Searching for compatibility with an intimate partner will always require a certain amount of work – and commitment to the process – on our parts. But modern technology has given us a tool to both broaden and refine our searches in the form of the Internet. If we know ourselves, and what we truly value in life, then we can use this tool to optimize our chances of getting to know someone who will mirror all that back to us. We no longer have to leave the prospect of true compatibility up to the whims of chance.

Related posts

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Of course, there are many varying degrees of possessiveness. It could be the nagging feeling of jealousy that is easily ignored, or something far more sinister. Being in a relationship with a possessive person can be hard work. It’s a stressful situation for you both. Possessiveness has been the end of many otherwise good relationships.

What are the Signs?

There are many signs that your relationship with your partner has become possessive. They include:

• You feel there is a breakdown of communication, and you don’t feel comfortable discussing certain topics.
• Your partner criticizes you and does not support your decisions.
• Your partner discourages you from spending time with people outside of the relationship.
• You no longer feel free to express yourself.
• You feel like you are losing touch with your own identity.
• You may feel like you are very close at one time, then suddenly feel distant.
• You have fights which come out of nowhere.
• You feel trapped in the relationship.

The Green-Eyed Monster

Jealousy adds fuel to the fire of a possessive relationship, and unfortunately, the two often go hand in hand. While some jealousy in relationships is created by genuine concern, having a poor sense of self-esteem can also inflame these feelings.

When Jealousy Becomes Emotional Abuse

We all get a little bit jealous sometimes. Practically every person in a relationship has at some stage second guessed their partner’s movements. There is a big leap from suspicious minds to a possessive relationship.

The difference between the two is in the effects of your partner’s actions. Are they causing you undue stress, worry, and anxiety? Are you thinking twice before speaking your mind? Do you have to constantly reorganize your plans, or not take part in activities you might like to? If so then you may be in a possessive relationship.

Signs that your partner is possessive can signal the initial stages of emotional abuse. In these kinds of relationships, one partner will seek to control the other by isolating them from their friends and family. In a way, they also isolate them from their own identity, by belittling their self-esteem and destroying any sense of value they have about themselves. If you feel that your relationship has become abusive, then it’s time to speak to a counselor, or seek out some help.

How Can You Move Past This?

The best way to overcome a possessive partner is to speak about it openly. This may sound like a difficult thing to do. It may help to prepare yourself by making notes of what you would like to bring up. Having a third person present, such as a counselor, can also be of help.

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