To be vulnerable means to trust in your instincts, in your natural self, more than any wit and charm that you might possess. What’s the point of assuming a false mask in an attempt to attract someone, anyway? If that first date leads to more, then eventually the person in question is going to get a feel for who you are, regardless. It’s far easier to be real up-front, and risk being rejected for who we are, than it is to try and disentangle, down the road, any false impressions that we’ve made. For that early “getting acquainted” period of time, an unassuming manner may leave the object of your interest with the best possible impression of you.

In any moment of honesty, there is risk. And approaching someone, who you don’t know real well, about the possibility of a date, is usually risky. If it isn’t, then it probably isn’t worth doing anyway, because the lack of fear on your part is a good indication that you don’t care much one way or another. Feeling vulnerable with the person you’re approaching just says that your interest is real.

Getting past your fear isn’t really the objective, then. The most genuine way to proceed is to feel your fear – but don’t let it stop you in your tracks. Besides, there can be something pleasurable about that fear. It gets your blood moving, and ushers a tingle of excitement into the air. Approaching the object of your interest with a little quaver in your voice will allow her or him to see that you’re really sincere.

The gift of vulnerability is that it allows us to show other people how we really are, without pretension. It doesn’t guarantee that we’ll win whomever we may be pursuing. But it will enable us to come across as real, as possessing integrity. Without that, we may end up resorting to boasts, canned lines, an excess of flattery, and other conversational faux pas that are bound to make us look like we’re full of hot air.

Related posts

• September 28, 2007 -- Do You Need a Dating Shrink?
• July 20, 2007 -- Do You Need Help with Online Dating?
• October 13, 2011 -- Is She Playing Hard to Get? Decode Mixed Signals
• November 18, 2010 -- Should I Pay for Dating Advice?
• October 26, 2010 -- Top 5 Dating Mistakes
• October 17, 2010 -- Aiming for a Second Date
• September 9, 2010 -- Build Your Dating Confidence

We all have friends who approach the bar scene or any other potential meeting place with comfort and ease. And, we envy them. The difference between us and them is simply the fact that they see what they have to offer, while we see all the things we perceive as being “wrong” with us.

But, there’s hope for all of us who approach meeting a potential date with trepidation. Here are some ways to build your confidence. You’ll likely find that better confidence helps you in many areas of your life.

• Make a list of the things you like about yourself. Are you funny? Intelligent? Well-educated? Successful? Refer to your list before every outing that includes possibly approaching a member of the opposite sex. It will help you remember what you have to offer.
• Go out with friends who are good at meeting members of the opposite sex. Take advantage of your friends who seem to naturally attract members of the opposite sex. They can help you to get into a group setting, with several people to talk to. You may find that you do better once the initial ice is broken.
• Talk to people without an agenda. If you talk to someone with no expectations, then you’re not disappointed if no connection happens. The bonus is that your skills improve.
• Try meeting people online. Online dating is one of the most popular ways to meet members of the opposite sex. And, it’s great for someone who’s a little shy about striking up a conversation. Many people find it much easier to flirt and talk via email or online chat.

Related posts

• October 26, 2010 -- Top 5 Dating Mistakes
• January 26, 2012 -- Why Men Leave for Younger Women
• October 13, 2011 -- Is She Playing Hard to Get? Decode Mixed Signals
• October 13, 2011 -- How to get your ex back
• August 10, 2011 -- Vulnerability Makes the Best Impression when Asking Someone Out
• November 18, 2010 -- Should I Pay for Dating Advice?
• October 17, 2010 -- Aiming for a Second Date

If you’ve found yourself ‘between jobs,’ getting out of the house is one of the best things you can do for your mood. Instead of sitting around, worrying about your life, you should think about ways you could help those even more less fortunate – by volunteering. Not only will this fill your days, but it will also fill your heart.

You will feel better about your situation and in turn, you will be able to meet others who are in the same position as you. Working toward a common goal is a great way to meet someone who you might even consider dating – after all, you already have one thing in common. And as an added benefit, knowing that someone else is volunteering their time and talents shows you just how nice of a person they might really be.

So, why not help others while helping yourself at the same time? This recession might just be the best opportunity to spread love and to receive love in return.

Related posts

• June 27, 2009 -- Dating In A Terrible Economy
• March 9, 2009 -- The Recession Increases Your Chances of Finding Love… Really
• March 28, 2008 -- Please Save Me from Being Single!
• August 4, 2011 -- Honey, I Cheated on Your Checkbook: Is Your Relationship at Risk from Financial Infidelity?
• December 21, 2010 -- December Dating Ideas
• September 9, 2010 -- Inexpensive Date Ideas
• April 19, 2010 -- Online Dating Gate Crashers

Well, most of us, anyway.

For the rest of the daters out there, you might not be skittish because you’re projecting a completely different personality than the one you wear during your dating off-hours. Yes, you are faking it during your dates, but it seems to work, so what’s the harm in it?

Let’s sit down for a moment and think about why being yourself is the best way to date:

• It’s easier
• It takes less energy
• You don’t have to constantly second guess your every word, action, and expression

When you are just ‘you,’ you get to show your date what they’re in for – like it or not. And would you really want to waste your time with someone who isn’t truly the person they seem to be? No, you’d call them a liar and something that was just trying to get something from you.

So, why are you doing it too?

Becoming more comfortable with yourself is not an overnight process, to be sure. But it is something which will help you hook up and match up with a person who likes you for who you are – on the date and down the road.

Related posts

• September 26, 2011 -- Improving Your Internet Dating Profile
• April 19, 2011 -- Mapping Out a Date
• September 6, 2009 -- The Husband/Wife Match
• September 6, 2009 -- The Boyfriend/Girlfriend Match
• July 19, 2009 -- Genetic Profiling And Dating
• August 23, 2008 -- Take a Tip or Follow Your Heart?
• June 23, 2008 -- Liar, Liar, Date on Fire?

It’s the new American/Worldwide dream, isn’t it?

By being able to surf around dating websites and truly learn what parts of yourself are positive and worth mentioning, you can begin to see just what a valuable person you are to your prospective dates.

Instead of having to hang out at a bar with other women/men who are more attractive than you (or, at least, it seems to be that way), you can go online and be anyone you want. Or you can be exactly who you are, but with more confidence than you might have in person.

From learning to chat with others online to posting a profile that sings your praises, you can turn a dating slump into a time when your calendar is full.

If you’ve been feel depressed about your dating mojo, it’s time to start heading online to rediscover the fox you really are.

Online dating helps you:

• Be confident
• Announce your dating preferences
• Meet people from all over the world

The odds are stacked in your favor, no matter what dating website you might choose or what networking site you might list yourself on.

Stop feeling like a dating disaster, and find your inner diva once more!

Related posts

• November 22, 2006 -- How to be Confident
• October 4, 2008 -- To Date or Not to Date – Is There Even a Question?
• October 13, 2011 -- Is She Playing Hard to Get? Decode Mixed Signals
• August 10, 2011 -- Vulnerability Makes the Best Impression when Asking Someone Out
• November 18, 2010 -- Should I Pay for Dating Advice?
• October 26, 2010 -- Top 5 Dating Mistakes
• October 17, 2010 -- Aiming for a Second Date

But that doesn’t mean you should just give up dating. Nope, there are plenty of perks to heading out and trying to see what the dating pool now holds – even if the waters are a bit murkier than you remember them.

It all begins with self confidence. The good news is that if you’re a bit older than the skinny blondes around you, you’re going to have a much better chance of snagging a guy than they are. After all, you’re interesting, you’re fun, and you know what you want.

Don’t believe this? Try out your charm on someone the next time you’re out.

Even if you don’t end up getting a date with them, it’s nearly guaranteed you will find a date that night. Honestly.

When you have self confidence, you will attract attention and attention turns into dates. Being yourself, while it seems to go against the ‘rules’ of dating, is actually something that works in your favor.

Sure, not everyone is going to like you, but you don’t want just anyone to like you, do you?

So if you’re unsure as to whether you should date or not, maybe it’s time to simply jump out there, show ‘em what you got and see what you can reel in.

Related posts

• October 19, 2008 -- Is Online Dating the Key to Your Inner Vixen?
• November 22, 2006 -- How to be Confident
• October 13, 2011 -- Is She Playing Hard to Get? Decode Mixed Signals
• August 10, 2011 -- Vulnerability Makes the Best Impression when Asking Someone Out
• November 18, 2010 -- Should I Pay for Dating Advice?
• October 26, 2010 -- Top 5 Dating Mistakes
• October 17, 2010 -- Aiming for a Second Date

No matter who you talk to, you might want to think about online dating like any other goal in your life.

Think about what you want.
Figure out the action steps you need to take.
Then take them.

While the formula seems simple, and it is, the results aren’t as quick and as easy as some sites might have you think. And this is the main reason why online dating tips aren’t always as helpful as they seem.

And let’s be honest – they’re also pretty redundant after a while.

A better approach might be to not strategize about the way you are dating, but rather to be yourself and support the person you are and the person you want to be with. If you’re constantly trying to win someone else, you’re going to miss out on meeting up with someone who likes you for you – and not just for the person that you seem to be online.

So, should you take dating tips to heart? Maybe, but with a grain of salt. What seems to be reasonable, use; what seems to be useless, toss.

Now, get out there!

Related posts

• November 17, 2008 -- Is the Real You Good Enough?
• June 23, 2008 -- Liar, Liar, Date on Fire?
• March 8, 2007 -- Should Online Dating Be Controlled by the Government?
• November 22, 2006 -- What To Do When a Date Goes Bad

Instead of calling to cancel your dinner and movies meetup, you just need to learn how to relax a little and even use your nervousness to your advantage.

First of all, everyone gets nervous on a date – even if it’s their 100th date of the week. For a brief moment, everyone worries if their breath smells, if they just said something stupid, etc. So, realize that you’re human and that your date is going to be just as nervous.

So say something. That’s right, just say that you’re nervous. It’s a great ice breaker, and it helps you both get that elephant in the room under control.

Next, don’t analyze anything that you say or do from that moment on. Okay, you can play back your date when you get home, but when you’re out on the town, do NOT think about what you’re doing and how good/horrible it is. Just relax and be yourself. They’re going to make mistakes too.

When you approach dating in this way – online or in person – you’re not going to come off as a stiff person that doesn’t know how to have a good time. Revel in your human-ness and start dating more.

After a while, those nerves aren’t going to bother you at all.

Related posts

• September 14, 2006 -- Taking the Pressure Off the First Date
• February 10, 2012 -- Love on a Budget: Four Valentine’s Day Ideas
• February 9, 2011 -- Dating Through the Winter Blahs
• February 9, 2011 -- Valentine’s Day – Love it or Hate it?
• November 29, 2010 -- Great November Dates
• September 9, 2010 -- Inexpensive Date Ideas
• September 4, 2008 -- Can a Summer Romance be TOO Hot?

So when it comes to online flirting, what can you do to ensure you’re not offending anyone, yet still being cool and seductive?

Make sure you’re rereading what you send to someone – Those notes that you send off spontaneously are the ones that will get you in the most trouble. Read and reread what you’re sending before you push that send button.

Even better, have someone else read it – If you have a friend that you trust, have them read the email as well. They’ll be able to tell you if you need to reword something or if you need to strike something completely out of the email itself.

Use email ‘softeners’ – That’s right, you have full permission to use smiley faces and ‘ha ha’ to make sure anything that’s supposed to be funny comes across as funny. ‘Just kidding’ is another good way to make sure your intentions are clear.

Be overly flirtatious – You could also take the route of being overly flirtatious by using cheesy pick up lines and lovey dovey quotes. This way, the other person will laugh to themselves, knowing the meaning, but not really knowing if you mean it or if you don’t….mysterious person that you are.

Practice, practice, practice – Chances are good that even if you do follow this advice, you’re going to run into troubles and mess up from time to time. Instead of beating yourself up over flirting mistakes, learn from them.

Related posts

• January 18, 2007 -- Emailing for Love
• January 26, 2012 -- How To Get the Boys Falling At Your Feet
• November 10, 2011 -- Getting Dates Via Instant Messaging (IM)
• November 10, 2011 -- Three Easy and Inexpensive Ways to Get a Man to Notice You
• October 13, 2011 -- Title: 10 Signs that She is Attracted to You
• October 13, 2011 -- Is She Playing Hard to Get? Decode Mixed Signals
• August 10, 2011 -- Vulnerability Makes the Best Impression when Asking Someone Out

Men and women take note, it’s not about the car you drive – it’s about the little things that set you apart from the rest.

Don’t be Available all the Time – While you want to make sure you’re saying yes to dates, you don’t want to tell them that you’re available for the next two weeks at anytime or any place. That just makes you look desperate. Instead, show them that there are certain times you are available, but other times you have a life. They don’t have to know that you and your cat have a standing cuddle date or that you want to watch Bruce Willis movies by yourself.

A Few Buttons Undone… – If you want to keep them guessing, it’s not about showing some skin, it’s about showing what might be underneath your clothing. Keep your outfit choices chose to your figure, and maybe unbutton one too many buttons. But then cover up the skin with something else, like a scarf or a jacket to keep your modesty. Don’t worry, their imagination will figure out what you’re not showing off.

Find a Titillating Topic of Conversation – Don’t be boring with small talk and chit chat. You want to talk about something that makes them remember you long after you’ve both gotten home. Pick a few questions that might start off an exciting conversation – and don’t get hell bent on them answering ‘right.’ This is supposed to be fun, after all. A game of ‘Would You Rather…’ is a great way to be irresistible. Here’s an example, “Would you rather be really tall or really short?” The answers you give then need to be supported by an explanation.

Related posts

• April 30, 2008 -- Become Irresistible: Part Two
• August 8, 2007 -- Learning the Rules of Wooing
• January 26, 2012 -- How To Get the Boys Falling At Your Feet
• November 10, 2011 -- Getting Dates Via Instant Messaging (IM)
• November 10, 2011 -- Three Easy and Inexpensive Ways to Get a Man to Notice You
• October 13, 2011 -- Title: 10 Signs that She is Attracted to You
• October 13, 2011 -- Is She Playing Hard to Get? Decode Mixed Signals