You’ve seen all of the commercials promoting certain online dating sites and their supposedly “advanced” matching of singles based on a large number of compatibility factors. These same dating sites show lots of examples of couples matched up through their programs that have gone on to get married, the idea being to convince you to spend your hard earned money to join their site.

While these kinds of online dating services, such as eHarmony and PerfectMatch do have a lot of success matching singles up for dating, the evidence on whether or not those matches actually end up creating lasting and stable marriages is somewhat murky. It turns out that some areas of compatibility are more important than others, having a much larger influence on the long term success of a relationship.

Age – Although some online dating sites will tell you age alone is not important, recent research tells us otherwise. It turns out that large differences in age (greater than three to five years) is a major factor in whether or not a long term relationship and/or marriage will survive.

Drinking – Whether or not either person drinks alcohol also has a major influence on long term relationship success. If one person drinks and the other does not, the chances of that relationship ending in divorce more than doubles.

Smoking – Smoking is also a major factor on relationship success; if one partner smokes and the other doesn’t, research tells us the chances of that relationship ending in divorce more than triples.

So what’s the lesson here? Certainly there is a lot of value to matching up with other singles whose values and other preferences parallel your own, so from that perspective it can be helpful to use an online dating site that looks at those things. However, those same web sites very likely don’t have success rates that are dramatically higher than if you were to pay attention to critical compatibility factors on your own.

Dating Essentials Age, Compatibility, Smoking

Just in case you’re not feeling enough pressure going into that upcoming first date you have scheduled, here’s something else to keep in mind: about two thirds of all singles will decide whether to see someone again within the first 30 minutes of a date.

Yes, that’s right. You have 30 minutes to make a good impression on that other person if you want there to be a second date. If you’re really lucky, though, your date will be among the 22% of singles who are willing to give you up to an hour before they make up their minds.

Does any of this surprise you? It shouldn’t, really, considering the fast paced world in which we live. In a society where the emphasis is on getting what you want faster (think drive thru espresso stands) and having to take care of many different responsibilities each day (think multi-tasking or juggling two jobs), it’s no wonder that we’ve developed the same “short term” approach to our dating habits. We think we don’t have a moment to waste, so even on a date we’re inclined to be rushed and make fast decisions.

Age has a lot to do with this trend. In general, people under age 40 are most likely to make these fast judgments, while people over age 40 are more likely to give things a bit more time. But you don’t want to dally with this older group, either, as they are probably only going to give you an hour or so before making their decision.

So the next time you go out on a first date, put a rush on it; you only get one chance (and about 30 minutes) to make a good first impression!

Dating Essentials Age, Attraction, Speed Dating, Work

If there’s one thing that online dating has vastly improved, it’s the prospects for dating and love for those who are later in life. I’m talking about people who are over 65 and find themselves single, many for the first time in decades. This is the kind of situation that used to just be considered inevitable for folks in this age group; they had their time as part of a relationship, the thinking went, and now it’s time for them to step aside and get used to being on their own.

Nonsense. Nobody has to be alone, no matter their age, but especially not those in the 65+ category. The modern world, with its new approaches to living and the tremendous array of technology tools, makes it possible and even exciting for later life singles to meet each other and enjoy whatever kind of relationship they want.

Two of the online dating sites that do a particularly good job of helping later life singles find love and companionship are Senior FriendFinder and DatingforSeniors.com. While these are not age-specific services, they do offer a higher level of personalized service that is often the best fit for 65+ singles that are new to the modern dating scene.

These web sites offer special advice and support to seniors, helping them to learn the “new rules” of dating in the 21st century. One area that’s especially important for seniors to keep in mind is the potential for others to take advantage of them, so these online dating sites pay particular attention to helping seniors protect themselves from scammers and other con artists.

So if you’re later in life and find yourself single, take heart. An entirely new and exciting world of dating and relationships is just waiting for you to take part!

Dating Essentials Age, Love, Old, Over 65, SeniorFriendFinder.com, Seniors