In recent years, we’ve seen some dating gurus come and go. You know the ones I mean; they offer their advice on how to attract the opposite sex via an e-book that you can purchase off the internet. But, do singles really need to pay for dating advice? And, are these people really “experts”?

I suppose the answer to this, like so many other things, is yes and no. There are a few people who may need tips on meeting other people and on what to expect from the club scene. Those who are extremely shy may benefit from some confidence building tips and from some “opening lines” that can help them get a conversation going.

The downside to these kinds of programs, in addition to their cost, however, is that using their techniques may make you come across as a “player”. If your goal is to be a player, that’s fine. However, if your goal is to meet your soul mate, these techniques may actually hinder you.

What most of us are looking for is a person with whom we can really have a connection. It’s only possible to truly connect with someone when you’re being yourself.

So, skip the pricey dating gurus and focus on letting people get to know the real you. If you want to spend some money, spend it on joining an activity club for singles or on an online dating site. There’s plenty of free dating advice on the internet in blogs just like this one that can help you overcome shyness and be more prepared to meet new people.

Dating Essentials Advice, Attraction, Self Confidence

Everyone wants to find the perfect partner. It seems to come more easily for some people than for others. Perhaps one of the reasons that many people find it so difficult to find a partner has to do with the expectations they have of their relationships and their partner.

It’s important to be realistic about what you want and need from a mate. Nobody’s perfect, and no relationship is perfect. If you find yourself having trouble finding the right partner, or the right relationship, keep the following three things in mind when you consider what’s really important to you.

• Be open to types you haven’t considered –I can’t even count the number of female friends who have immediately ruled out a man as a potential partner for some superficial reason, without even getting to know him first. Expectations like “they must have a college degree” or “they can’t have been married before” limit the number of people we are open to meeting, and may cause us to pass over someone who could have been the love of our life.
• Don’t expect to find someone who likes everything you like – Many people are looking for their mirror image. Not only will this prove difficult to find, but if you do find it, you might end up being incredibly bored. It is important to agree on basic values and goals, but beyond that, liking all the same things is not necessary. 15 years ago if you had told me that I would have married an ex-Navy sailor who loved antique cars and fishing, I would have said you were crazy. But that’s who I ended up marrying and it has worked beautifully in part because we’re so different.
• Don’t expect your partner to meet all your emotional needs- Expecting one person to fulfill all your needs is not only unrealistic, but it puts a terrible burden on your partner. Both of you will still need to have friends and interests apart from each other in order to be fulfilled.

Dating Essentials Attraction, Expectations, Fussy, Partner

One of the things I hear from singles all the time is how hard it is to decide when and how to turn a dating relationship from casual to exclusive. How do you know it’s the right time to bring up the subject? What happens if the other person doesn’t want what you want? And how devastating is it when your mutual expectations don’t match up and the relationship comes to an end?

There’s no right or wrong answer to any of these questions, but it they all get to the heart of an issue that sooner or later every single person who is dating someone else must address: should you date each other exclusively or continue to play the field? Go for exclusivity too soon and you’re likely to scare the other person off (guys, you all know this applies mostly to you!), but continue playing the field for too long and the exact same thing is likely to happen.

The best approach is not to stress over it or worry about it. It’s far better to just let things progress naturally rather than try to “force” the issue when the time isn’t right. There’s something called the Law of Attraction that states “what you pay attention to grows stronger”. This is absolutely true when it comes to worrying about exclusivity vs. playing the field; the more you worry about it, the stronger that worry becomes, and the stronger that worry becomes the more you worry about it. The cycle just goes on and on and on, pretty soon making both of you miserable and unhappy.

In most cases, it’s best to just let go of those thoughts and focus instead on simply enjoying the time you spend with that other person (or persons). Over time, if the relationship continues to grow and strengthen the question of whether to date each other exclusively or continue dating other people will very likely resolve itself quite naturally and easily!

Relationships Attraction, Casual, Serious