Just in case you’re not feeling enough pressure going into that upcoming first date you have scheduled, here’s something else to keep in mind: about two thirds of all singles will decide whether to see someone again within the first 30 minutes of a date.

Yes, that’s right. You have 30 minutes to make a good impression on that other person if you want there to be a second date. If you’re really lucky, though, your date will be among the 22% of singles who are willing to give you up to an hour before they make up their minds.

Does any of this surprise you? It shouldn’t, really, considering the fast paced world in which we live. In a society where the emphasis is on getting what you want faster (think drive thru espresso stands) and having to take care of many different responsibilities each day (think multi-tasking or juggling two jobs), it’s no wonder that we’ve developed the same “short term” approach to our dating habits. We think we don’t have a moment to waste, so even on a date we’re inclined to be rushed and make fast decisions.

Age has a lot to do with this trend. In general, people under age 40 are most likely to make these fast judgments, while people over age 40 are more likely to give things a bit more time. But you don’t want to dally with this older group, either, as they are probably only going to give you an hour or so before making their decision.

So the next time you go out on a first date, put a rush on it; you only get one chance (and about 30 minutes) to make a good first impression!

Dating Essentials Age, Attraction, Speed Dating, Work

So much time, effort, and money goes into dating that you would think we would have a better idea of what kind of relationship is really “right” for us. Unfortunately, though, most people simply drift from date to date and relationship to relationship, hoping for something special to develop but doing very little to actually make it happen.

The problem it seems is that we simply do not know what kind of match is best based on our long term goals. There are two basic kinds of matches – the “boyfriend/girlfriend” and the “husband/wife”, both of which have definite characteristics that affect both short term and long term relationship success. This week let’s look at the first of these, the boyfriend/girlfriend match.

A match like this is based most often on having fun together. It is carefree, focused on having a good time, and often includes a touch of adventure or even danger in the mix. Two people in this kind of match are not thinking about long term commitment, or sometimes even short term commitment for that matter. No, they are most intent on enjoying each other’s company, doing interesting things, and sampling what the world has to offer. It’s pretty common for this kind of couple to be opposites when it comes to their personalities; opposites attract, after all, and it is this sense of being with someone who is very different from yourself that makes this kind of match so appealing.

There’s nothing wrong with finding and enjoying a boyfriend/girlfriend match, of course. The key is to understand it for what it is (and what it isn’t) and make a conscious decision about whether or not to choose this kind of a relationship approach.

Next up: The husband/wife match!

Dating Essentials Attraction, Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Personality, Relationships

In this festive time of year, it’s only natural to want to find someone to share it with. And if you’ve been single for a while, you might be anxious to finally find ‘the one’ that you will fall in love with.

But is it that easy?

When you are dating, you need to recognize that finding someone and falling in love with someone are not necessarily one and the same. While you might want to be with someone and do all of the right things to attract them, this does not guarantee that you will find the right person.

You need to begin to ask yourself if you are ready to dating at all. This question becomes all the more important when you haven’t dated in a while or when you’ve had a particularly bad breakup recently. If either of these are the case, you need to begin by working on yourself and your issues before you can let someone else in.

This means taking a few moments to consider your role in the demise of your previous relationship. What could you have done better or differently? In addition, you need to look at your exes to see what they have in common and what you want in a new partner that is the same or that is different.

You also need to realize that falling in love might be an instant thing, but a relationship is not. In order to make a real relationship work, you need to spend time nurturing it with communication and with a concentrated focus.

Not everyone is ready for love, but that doesn’t mean they will never be. It just might take a little longer.

Breaking Up, Relationships Attraction, Breaking Up, Exes, Holidays, Love, Relationship, Singles