The world is full of songs (some good, some bad) about breaking off relationships for all kinds of reasons. If only it were as easy as some of them make it out to be! The reality is that you’re probably going to go through several different potential partners before finding that really special one, so sooner or later you’re going to have to face up to it.

You’re just not feeling it with a particular person and you want to break it off – now what?

Breaking up is hard to do (my apologies to Neil Sedaka) but it’s not impossible to do if you go about it the right way. While there’s no single “best” way to end it and move on, there are some general things to keep in mind:

1. Be honest. This is really, really, really hard to do. It’s tough to honestly tell someone you’re not interested in seeing them anymore, so it’s tempting to make something up. Don’t give in to this temptation because it’s only going to end up badly. It’s far better to open a conversation, share your honest feelings, and exit the situation gracefully.

2. Do it in person. Sometimes this isn’t possible, but if you can do it in person that’s the best choice. This doesn’t mean spending a long evening together and then springing it on the other person at the end, but it does mean having the courage to say what you need to say to his or her face.

3. Never burn a bridge. Old advice for sure, but still valid in today’s world. Never end a relationship by saying or doing mean things to the other person, even if it’s really, really tempting to do so. It’s a small dating world out there, and if you treat someone badly during a break up I can almost guarantee it will come back to haunt you at some point.

Breaking Up Breaking Up, Feelings, Rejection

If you’re in a relationship right now that’s not making you happy, maybe it’s time to take some advice from the current economic crisis and FIRE your significant other.

That’s right. If they’re not doing their job and you’re not interested in waiting for them to learn to change, it’s time to give them the boot, a pink slip, a kick in the behind.

It’s time to get fired up to do some firing.

• Make a list of their offenses – Before you talk to your soon to be ex, it’s time to sit and think about what you don’t like about them or about the way they are in the relationship.
• Make a list of their good qualities – But if you’re going to at least give your significant other a chance of saying with you, you need to think about the redeeming qualities they have too. You might be surprised at how much you do like.
• Think about a trial run – Just like a poor performance review, you might want to give your significant other a second chance to improve within a certain time frame. If they don’t improve, they’re gone.

Firing your significant other sounds harsh, and maybe it is. But if you’re not happy, it’s time to downsize your relationship.

Breaking Up Breaking Up, Rejection, Relationship

If you date, you will breakup with someone at some point. It’s not a pretty thing, but it’s reality. After all, if you don’t break up with someone, you’re simply staying in a relationship you don’t enjoy.

Or you’re marrying them. Here are some ways to make a breakup easier:

• Be quick – There’s no need to give a long and drawn out explanation for the reasons why you need to say goodbye. Just say it’s over, give a short explanation and walk away.
• Be honest – There’s no need to be mean, but you should always be honest when you break up with someone. Lying isn’t going to help them or you get over this transition any quicker.
• Be in public – Make sure you break up with someone when you’re out and about, not over the phone or over email. Those are cowardly and they can often be messages that are spread to others. Do it in person.
• Be kind – This is a person you though you could really care about, so think about how it would feel if the tables were turned. How would you want to be treated?

The reality of dating is that 99% of all your relationships are going to fail or they’re just not going to work out. So, breaking up is just a part of this cycle. And each breakup means you’re getting closer to the one that steals your heart.

Breaking Up, Divorce Breaking Up, Divorce, Marriage, Separating