In this festive time of year, it’s only natural to want to find someone to share it with. And if you’ve been single for a while, you might be anxious to finally find ‘the one’ that you will fall in love with.

But is it that easy?

When you are dating, you need to recognize that finding someone and falling in love with someone are not necessarily one and the same. While you might want to be with someone and do all of the right things to attract them, this does not guarantee that you will find the right person.

You need to begin to ask yourself if you are ready to dating at all. This question becomes all the more important when you haven’t dated in a while or when you’ve had a particularly bad breakup recently. If either of these are the case, you need to begin by working on yourself and your issues before you can let someone else in.

This means taking a few moments to consider your role in the demise of your previous relationship. What could you have done better or differently? In addition, you need to look at your exes to see what they have in common and what you want in a new partner that is the same or that is different.

You also need to realize that falling in love might be an instant thing, but a relationship is not. In order to make a real relationship work, you need to spend time nurturing it with communication and with a concentrated focus.

Not everyone is ready for love, but that doesn’t mean they will never be. It just might take a little longer.

Breaking Up, Relationships Attraction, Breaking Up, Exes, Holidays, Love, Relationship, Singles

Relationships that go badly are no fun for anyone involved, but add in the holiday season and you have a bit of a mess on your hands. While you want to break up with a person, is that really the best thing to do during the holiday season?

There are two schools of though on this: one, you could break up with them because when they realize that you were just holding out until after the holidays were over, it’s going to be doubly painful. Or two, you could break up with them when the time is right (okay, but not in the middle of a family dinner) and simply be known as the significant other who stole Christmas/Hanukah/Etc.

In the end, most professional therapist agree that sparing someone’s feelings for a holiday is not the right way to be in a relationship – breaking up is the right decision whenever it is the right decision, regardless of the holiday or the date.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t do it nicely.

Some things to avoid:

• Breaking up during a planned gathering at a family member’s home
• Telling anyone that you’ve going to break up with the person before you actually tell the person
• Breaking up with them in a public place, over email, or over the phone

You might not get out of this breakup with a good reputation, but at least you’re being honest – and that’s going to count for something. Eventually.

Breaking Up, Family Breaking Up, Family, Holidays, Relationships

Breaking up is hard to do, isn’t it? No matter if you’ve known the person for three days or three weeks, we just don’t like to hurt someone else’s feelings, even if we’re not interested in them or attracted to them. When you’re online dating, you will want to follow some different rules when it comes to breaking up with someone so that you remain safe as well as in good standing with other singles on your dating site.

• Only date people that you’re really interested in – When you date anyone and everyone that you meet, you might get a reputation for simply dating anyone that breathes. As you continue to break up with people, other singles might not want to meet you as it seems you’ve already determined their fate.
• Never give out personal information – This can not be stated enough, but if you’re dating online, don’t give out your personal information or you might end up with a breakup that results in phone calls and emails that you just don’t want to receive.
• Be honest and clear – When you’re breaking up with someone, be sure that you’re clear about what you are saying. If you’re unclear in any way, you may just be enticing a person to continue to pursue you.
• Lie if necessary – If you can’t seem to be clear to the person that you want to break up with, lie. While this seems a bit cutthroat, you want to end the relationship, right?

Dating Essentials Breaking Up, Hurt, Love, Meet People, Online Safety, Stalking