Finding a good relationship is hard; staying in one can sometimes even be harder. And, one of the reasons that it is sometimes so hard is because people have these expectations about how a relationship is supposed to work that make them give up too soon. Are you the victim of one of these five relationship myths?

• 1. Great relationships require that we completely understand each other.
  If you’re looking for a partner who completely understands you, or one that you understand completely, prepare to be disappointed. Men and women are different, and we should celebrate our differences.

• 2. To have a great relationship, we must solve all our problems.
  There are many problems in a relationship that can never be solved. As long as you can agree to disagree about some things, you can still have a great relationship.

• 3. We must be able to sustain our initial romantic feelings forever.
  Every relationship needs romance, but we can’t expect that initial feeling of giddiness to go on indefinitely. At some point, that early passion you feel will change. But, it doesn’t mean you’re not in love. If you move on every time the giddiness fades, you’ll never be in a long-term relationship.

• 4. I should be able to say whatever’s on my mind.
  You will always need to take care to protect your partner’s feelings. While you should be able to talk about your feelings honestly, you must be still be careful not to say something you might regret later.

• If I’m in the right relationship, it will have nothing to do with sex.
  While good relationships have many layers, the sexual aspect is very important to long-term success. The sexual aspect of our relationship is critical to healing the little irritations of life and relaxing as a couple. Sex is an essential part of any successful long-term relationship.

Finding the right partner is difficult in any case. However, if we place unrealistic expectations on our relationships, we can make finding a mate downright impossible. But, if we keep our relationship expectations realistic, we give ourselves a much better chance of finding true love.

Relationships Breaking Up, Couples, Partner, Sex, Truth

Thousands of happy couples. Thousands of marriages. The highest success rate online. These are just a few of the claims we are constantly hearing from online dating sites, both the major ones and the smaller, more specialized ones. But really, how successful is online dating? Can you trust and believe in what these sites are telling you?

The answer is a very murky “yes” and “no”. The reality is that online dating sites generally rely on self-reporting of happy couples and marriages, which means they need their members to submit comments, letters, and other input sharing their own experiences. And while there are indeed many success stories from online dating this kind of self-reporting is by no means scientific or reliable.

So what is a single person to do? Is it worth looking at the so-called success rates promoted by online dating sites when deciding which one (or ones) to join and participate in? The answer to that one is really up to you, but in general you should take these kinds of claims with a grain of salt.

In the real world of online dating you’re going to have to expect to have a lot of not-so-great dates as you move along the path toward finding someone really special. That, it turns out, is the real meaning of “success” in online dating, the willingness to persevere, keep going, and working toward whatever dating goal you set for yourself. It probably isn’t going to happen overnight, and it may even take several years in some cases. But if you stick with it and have realistic goals you’re likely to have a great deal of fun along the way.

News & Views Couples, Dating Business, Marriage, Success, Trust

Last week we talked about the boyfriend/girlfriend match, that wonderful and exciting type of relationship that’s based so much on having fun, seeking out adventure, and spending time with someone who very likely is opposite to you in so many ways. It’s a very common type of match in the dating scene, but there’s another type of match that is also important to understand and consider.

It’s called the husband/wife match and its characteristics are both distinct and noticeable. This kind of match is based on enjoying each other’s company, but for reasons very different from the boyfriend/girlfriend match. A couple like this is usually two people who are very similar in a great number of ways; they probably like the same things, have similar life goals, place value on a steady and trusting relationship, and the like. It’s very common for this kind of couple to be very much the same in terms of their personalities; they come together out of a sense of feeling comfortable, connected, and partnered in the deepest sense of the word.

There’s a lot to like about this kind of match, especially if you’re interested in settling down into a longer term relationship. For some people this type of match screams “BORING!!!!” but that does not have to be the case at all. Two people can have fun together, it’s just that with this kind of match the definition of what’s fun (and the lengths you’ll go to in order to have that kind of fun) tends more toward the conventional rather than the adventurous.

So what kind of match do you want? There’s no right or wrong in this, just a matter of being honest with yourself (and with your partner) about your intentions toward the relationship and the kind of relationship you most want to have.

Dating Essentials Couples, Fun, Husband, Match, Personality, Wife