Online dating has no doubt revolutionized the way people meet for friendship and romance. In fact, studies indicate that it now ranks third on the list of six most common and popular ways to meet someone new. However, while most go into online dating with good intentions, there are a percentage of so-called online daters whose objectives are less than honorable. These types see an online dating site as merely a forum for running scams or for living out some sort of fantasy life– all at the expense of others. Whether the investment is financial or emotional on the part of the innocent, devastating loss is often the end result.

Online dating scammers (or predators) are highly adept at manipulating others. They are so practiced in their craft that the red flags to their behavior are typically only realized after someone’s heart (or pocketbook) has been broken. To keep from becoming a statistic in the online dating scene, watch for these common indicators:

Red flag #1: A life story that is larger than life itself

Scammers can’t work their magic without first drawing in a victim. Therefore, their life story is often a feel good tale of rags to riches, jet-setting, charity and privilege. Or, he or she may be the underdog fighting for some good cause. Whatever the case, dating scammers portray themselves as doing the incredible all while maintaining a seemingly modest and approachable disposition.

Red flag #2: The wonderful life tinged with tragedy
Just like the rising action of a well-laid plot, there will likely be a parent, a sibling or grandparent struck down by a rare illness or sudden accident. If not this, it will be something to pull at the heartstrings of their victim. At this point, the financial scammer may begin sniffing around for money. Conversely, the emotional scammer is simply looking to feed on sympathy.

Red flag #3: Communication is erratic
Once the trap is laid, the predator will subtly arrange it so that he or she does all the contacting. This contact comes only between certain hours, certain days of the week or a combination thereof. During these times, he or she may talk in hushed tones or end phone calls abruptly. There may even be long spans without communication.

One of the biggest red flags of an online dating scammer is someone who claims to travel extensively or make trips ‘out of the country’ for extended periods of time. The scammer may claim to be stranded in a remote African country, and require your assistance to get home. African countries are the source of numerous dating scams; be especially wary of Nigeria, Senegal, Ghana, and the Ivory Coast.

Red flag#4: An online relationship that feels meant to be — until it’s time to meet

An online dating scammer will make any excuse he or she can to not meet in person. Or, he or she will agree to meet but cancel or consistently put off plans at the last minute. This will be weaved with heartrending excuses, promises to meet at a later date or more ‘tragedies’ in order to distract a victim from questioning the predator’s motives.

Red flag #5: An online relationship that is one-sided and all give

A relationship with an online dating predator is not only financially or emotionally draining, it never goes anywhere. After a while, the victim begins to notice that everything revolves totally around the person on the other end. When the jig is finally up, the scammer will likely disappear without a trace and move on to the next victim.

What to do in the case of a suspected online dating scammer:

Cut all communication immediately. Do not answer emails and, if necessary, change phone numbers. Expect further attempts at manipulation via sob stories, emotional blackmail or even new and sudden “misfortunes”. Do not be drawn back in to the trap. Be prepared to document any behavior that suddenly becomes abusive or threatening and report it immediately to the online dating site hosting the scammer’s profile and/or the police.

Practice online dating safety. Just because an online dating site implements identity confirmation procedures or background checks, do not toss personal accountability aside. For the dating scammer, a victim is nothing more than someone who aids in keeping the con alive. It is therefore imperative to establish firm emotional boundaries when choosing to meet and date people online.

Do not feel stupid. Getting financially or emotionally scammed by an online dating predator has nothing to do with one’s intelligence. Even the most astute individual can be drawn in by a skilled con artist. What matters most is learning from the experience and maintaining control of one’s online dating experience at all times.

Safety Fraud, Online Safety, Scams

What is the biggest complaint most people have about online dating services? Surprisingly, it has nothing to do with the websites themselves but rather the common billing practices used by many online dating companies. Automatic renewal is a source of unhappiness for many people who join an online dating site, but the practice known as re-billing is also a highly complained about problem.

Even if you don’t know what re-billing is you’ve probably been exposed to it many different times and maybe even fallen prey to the negative aspects of this practice. Re-billing is the term for those pop-up windows that appear after you have made a purchase online; you know the ones, they offer to give you “cash back” or future discounts just by clicking on the button and joining a service, testing out a product, or otherwise agreeing to get involved with some other company. The problem is that many of these offers are extremely deceiving, getting out of them once you have signed up is extremely difficult, and they don’t make it clear that when you sign up the original website you were on receives money for referring you.

The practice of re-billing has been a huge moneymaker for many online dating sites, but the problem has become so out of hand that the credit card industry is finally cracking down on it. Mastercard recently announced it will suspend the merchant accounts of websites engaging in deceptive re-billing activities until they make changes that include:

• Showing the billing terms clearly and up front
• Clear notice that the consumer is enrolling in a paid service
• Trial periods must be at least 10 days
• Multiple methods of cancellation must be clearly made available

So the next time you come across a re-billing pop-up ad on an online dating website you’ll be in a better position to make a good decision based on having accurate and complete information presented to you.

Dating Essentials Auto-renewal, Complaints, Fraud, Rebill, Scams, Subscriptions

It’s the beginning of the year and you’re already behind with all of the Christmas bills that are now due. So when you want to sign up for a dating service site, with its high monthly fee, how are you protecting yourself and your budget?

Before you even plunk down your credit card, you need to be aware of one thing – dating sites want to make money. But at the same time, there are a number of dating sites who simply exist to take money from people without giving them anything in return.

At least, that seems to be what US and World Report claim.

Here are some ways to make sure you are not only protecting yourself, but also getting your money back if you should be dissatisfied with the service:

• Investigate the site before you sign up – Don’t just sign up on the first site you find. Read reviews. Find out what your friends are using. Take some time to figure out whether this site seems like it’s set up to help you.
• Read the contracts – Find out how much money you need to pay and whether you will be signed up for a monthly charge from the start.
• Try to pay by check – If you can, try to pay by paper check. This way, if you’re done with the service, they can’t automatically charge you on your credit card. True, this is a rare feature in dating sites, but if possible, it’s the best deal.
• Find out who to contact with complaints before you have a complaint – This way, you can give them a call and see how helpful they are before you sign up, letting you know how helpful they will be when you are a member.
• Keep records of your charges.

Reviews Bad, Complaints, Fraud, Money, Reviews, Scam, Trust