Dating is supposed to be fun, right? Yet, so many of us are crippled with fear at the idea of approaching the opposite sex. It comes from a lack of confidence. We fear rejection and worry about what other people think about our looks and our personality. You see, many of us tend to focus on our flaws when it comes to connecting with the opposite sex.

We all have friends who approach the bar scene or any other potential meeting place with comfort and ease. And, we envy them. The difference between us and them is simply the fact that they see what they have to offer, while we see all the things we perceive as being “wrong” with us.

But, there’s hope for all of us who approach meeting a potential date with trepidation. Here are some ways to build your confidence. You’ll likely find that better confidence helps you in many areas of your life.

• Make a list of the things you like about yourself. Are you funny? Intelligent? Well-educated? Successful? Refer to your list before every outing that includes possibly approaching a member of the opposite sex. It will help you remember what you have to offer.
• Go out with friends who are good at meeting members of the opposite sex. Take advantage of your friends who seem to naturally attract members of the opposite sex. They can help you to get into a group setting, with several people to talk to. You may find that you do better once the initial ice is broken.
• Talk to people without an agenda. If you talk to someone with no expectations, then you’re not disappointed if no connection happens. The bonus is that your skills improve.
• Try meeting people online. Online dating is one of the most popular ways to meet members of the opposite sex. And, it’s great for someone who’s a little shy about striking up a conversation. Many people find it much easier to flirt and talk via email or online chat.

Self Confidence Friends, Rejection, Self Confidence

It wasn’t very long ago that using an online dating service was considered scandalous. Cheap. Embarrassing. And yes, really desperate. Thankfully times have changed a great deal and online dating is no longer something you hide from your family and friends. Online is now mainstream, and there is more than just anecdotal evidence to prove this.

A major research study conducted at Stanford University recently shows very clearly that online dating is no longer something to hide in the closet, but is in fact quickly becoming the first choice for singles looking to meet other singles like themselves. Going online is not only socially acceptable now, but it is also the preferred way for more and more singles to connect with each other. The Stanford research, conducted by sociologist Michael Rosenfeld, revealed that significant numbers of singles now actively choose to go online rather than go out to offline venues to look for other singles.

According to Rosenfeld’s study, the groups most likely to prefer online dating are lesbians, gays, and heterosexuals who are middle aged. When you stop to think about it for a moment this actually make sense; online dating allows singles to search for a partner in a way that is more anonymous than going out in person, plus it gives singles access to a much larger pool of potential dates than going out in person.

There will always be plenty of people who prefer to meet other singles in traditional offline venues, but if you’re looking for that someone special it might be more productive for you to focus more of your efforts online.

Dating Essentials Desperate, Friends, Social Networking

You’ve made it through the holiday season and into the New Year, a period of time that is often quite difficult for singles and online daters. All of that pressure to “find someone special” can make what are supposed to be happy times into depressed and unpleasant times.

But now it’s February and those dismal, depressed times should be long gone, right? Wrong! Just because the holidays are over does not mean online daters aren’t still feeling the winter blahs. It’s still getting dark early, the weather is still pretty crummy, and it’s still hard sometimes to find yourself looking for dates and feeling quite alone.

So what can you do to overcome these winter dating blahs? As it turns out, plenty!

Keep to a routine – Establish a routine and stick to it because this kind of structure has a positive effect on your mood. The best routines include regular exercise, healthy eating habits, and getting enough sleep each night.

Keep your friends close – The winter blahs are all about feeling a lack of energy, so fight them off by keeping in contact with your friends who energize you. Talk regularly on the phone, set up regular coffee or lunch dates, and make sure you have regular contact with those people who are most energizing and fun to be around.

Practice optimism – It’s easy to get “stuck” in negativity during the winter months; it’s too hard to find dates, the weather is too ugly to go outside, and the like. Remember, though, that the power of positive thinking and optimism are real. Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of what you’re feeling and experiencing, make a point of paying attention to the positive aspects of your life. It sounds silly, but it really does work.

Dating Essentials Depression, Friends, Holidays, Winter