You’ve made it through the holiday season and into the New Year, a period of time that is often quite difficult for singles and online daters. All of that pressure to “find someone special” can make what are supposed to be happy times into depressed and unpleasant times.

But now it’s February and those dismal, depressed times should be long gone, right? Wrong! Just because the holidays are over does not mean online daters aren’t still feeling the winter blahs. It’s still getting dark early, the weather is still pretty crummy, and it’s still hard sometimes to find yourself looking for dates and feeling quite alone.

So what can you do to overcome these winter dating blahs? As it turns out, plenty!

Keep to a routine – Establish a routine and stick to it because this kind of structure has a positive effect on your mood. The best routines include regular exercise, healthy eating habits, and getting enough sleep each night.

Keep your friends close – The winter blahs are all about feeling a lack of energy, so fight them off by keeping in contact with your friends who energize you. Talk regularly on the phone, set up regular coffee or lunch dates, and make sure you have regular contact with those people who are most energizing and fun to be around.

Practice optimism – It’s easy to get “stuck” in negativity during the winter months; it’s too hard to find dates, the weather is too ugly to go outside, and the like. Remember, though, that the power of positive thinking and optimism are real. Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of what you’re feeling and experiencing, make a point of paying attention to the positive aspects of your life. It sounds silly, but it really does work.

Dating Essentials Depression, Friends, Holidays, Winter

Colorful lights. Tinsel and wrapping paper. Endless advertising showing happy couples sharing meaningful moments together. And of course, those sickeningly sweet, sappy, cheerful Christmas songs playing over and over and over again, everywhere you go. Yes, it’s Christmas once again, and for many singles it’s the most lonely time of the year.

If you find yourself feeling sad, lonely, or depressed during this “season of good cheer” the most important thing to remember is that you’re not alone. The picture-perfect holidays featuring close knit families and large circles of vivacious friends are not real, but rather a deliberate creation of those who want to sell you something.

Instead of watching and listening to this kind of stuff over and over, why not take a different approach to this holiday season? You might:

• Spend a day volunteering with Habitat for Humanity
• Turn off the TV and the radio, and spend an evening reading a good book
• Visit your local senior center or a nursing home to play cards, help with bingo, or simply listen to the wonderful stories most older folks love to share
• Choose things to do that you want to do, not what others expect you to do
• Take a walk outside to get some fresh air and get away from the holiday bustle

None of these ideas will get rid of loneliness completely, of course, but they are a great way to re-focus your mind onto activities and pursuits that get you away from the unrealistic expectations of Christmas. You just might find that once you turn your attention elsewhere, you start feeling a whole lot better!

News & Views Christmas, Family, Holidays, Lonely

As the holiday season approaches (yes, it’s almost that time of year again) singles face a whole range of challenges. This is the time of year when society sends out all sorts of messages about how the “normal” way of being is to be happily involved with someone special, spending time with your loving family, and generally enjoying all of the benefits of being in a happy, loving, stable, meaningful relationship.

In other words, it’s a terribly difficult time for singles whose live don’t match up with this (impossible) ideal scenario. So what should you do about it? How can you avoid spending another holiday season feeling miserable or out of place? The key is to plan ahead.

1. Resolve right now not to buy in to the holiday hype about loving relationships, family, and the like. Whether you are in the early stages of dating someone or not dating anyone at all at the moment, make the choice to set aside the “Hallmark version” of the holidays and focus instead on approaching this time of year with the mental attitude that you’re just fine the way you are.

2. Think ahead about what you want to do on the actual holidays themselves. Do you want to spend time with extended family? Get together with friends? Get out of town and go on vacation? Focus on what you really want to do and then get started making plans to actually do it.

3. Stay flexible with your expectations. This is especially important if you’re dating someone but the relationship is not yet overly serious; don’t assume you’re going to spend the holidays together, but don’t assume you’re not going to spend them together, either. Try letting go of expectations for what “should” happen and just go with the flow of the relationship as it progresses naturally through the next couple of months.

The holidays can be difficult for singles to face, but if you plan ahead and keep a healthy mindset they can be fun and rewarding!

Family Family, Holidays