They can’t stand you going out for a night with your friends. You’ve caught them reading your text messages and emails. Your relationship seems to swing back and forth between periods of extreme closeness and emotional distance. You could be seeing signs that you are involved with a possessive partner.

Of course, there are many varying degrees of possessiveness. It could be the nagging feeling of jealousy that is easily ignored, or something far more sinister. Being in a relationship with a possessive person can be hard work. It’s a stressful situation for you both. Possessiveness has been the end of many otherwise good relationships.

What are the Signs?

There are many signs that your relationship with your partner has become possessive. They include:

• You feel there is a breakdown of communication, and you don’t feel comfortable discussing certain topics.
• Your partner criticizes you and does not support your decisions.
• Your partner discourages you from spending time with people outside of the relationship.
• You no longer feel free to express yourself.
• You feel like you are losing touch with your own identity.
• You may feel like you are very close at one time, then suddenly feel distant.
• You have fights which come out of nowhere.
• You feel trapped in the relationship.

The Green-Eyed Monster

Jealousy adds fuel to the fire of a possessive relationship, and unfortunately, the two often go hand in hand. While some jealousy in relationships is created by genuine concern, having a poor sense of self-esteem can also inflame these feelings.

When Jealousy Becomes Emotional Abuse

We all get a little bit jealous sometimes. Practically every person in a relationship has at some stage second guessed their partner’s movements. There is a big leap from suspicious minds to a possessive relationship.

The difference between the two is in the effects of your partner’s actions. Are they causing you undue stress, worry, and anxiety? Are you thinking twice before speaking your mind? Do you have to constantly reorganize your plans, or not take part in activities you might like to? If so then you may be in a possessive relationship.

Signs that your partner is possessive can signal the initial stages of emotional abuse. In these kinds of relationships, one partner will seek to control the other by isolating them from their friends and family. In a way, they also isolate them from their own identity, by belittling their self-esteem and destroying any sense of value they have about themselves. If you feel that your relationship has become abusive, then it’s time to speak to a counselor, or seek out some help.

How Can You Move Past This?

The best way to overcome a possessive partner is to speak about it openly. This may sound like a difficult thing to do. It may help to prepare yourself by making notes of what you would like to bring up. Having a third person present, such as a counselor, can also be of help.

Relationships Abuse, Jealous, Partner, Possessiveness, Self Esteem, Trust

There’s usually some pretty clear signs that all is not well in a relationship. However we are often too close and too involved to notice these signs ourselves. Often it takes our friends or family to point them out to us. Being in a relationship for a long period of time can seriously cloud your judgement. Knowing when to give up on a relationship is not as easy at it seems. Sometimes you can find yourself in a bad relationship, a one-sided relationship, or even a destructive relationship without even realising it. This happens simply because you’ve lived with your partner for so long and the relationship may have changed slowly over time, getting progressively worse.

Things that may have been little annoyances at the start may turn into much more serious issues later on. These can appear in many different guises, from partners who are abusive, partners who belittle you in public, who don’t care or show you respect, to those who are jealous, or who are possessive of your time.

So what keeps someone in such a relationship? The most common reasons they don’t just split are:

• Fear of change
• Fear of being alone
• Denial of the situation
• Guilt, especially when kids are involved
• A belief that the partner will change or go back to how they once were
• Putting up with them, because ‘when they are nice they are very nice’
• Being attracted to a ‘dominant’ personality

Unfortunately, getting into these types of relationships in the first place can be a repetitive pattern for some people. How ever much you love someone, it is not a reason for staying in a bad relationship. Don’t waste your life. Get out while you still have time and regain your self-respect. Getting out of a bad relationship is difficult to start with, but it is well worth the heartache and turmoil. Once out, the sunlight that was missing from your life will return, and a few months down the line, you’ll be amazed with yourself as to why you lived in such a situation for so long.

Rejection Abuse, Bad, Dump, Jealous, Love, Possessive, Rejection, Relationship