Every so often I hear a single person say, “There just aren’t any single guys/girls out there”. In fact, I can even remember saying it myself about 42,000 times when I was single.

It is true that as you get older, the population of single people may diminish. And, by older, I just mean older than the largest age group of singles who are looking for love, which are people in their early twenties.

But, one of the biggest reasons people don’t find love is that they don’t make time for it. You see, as we mature, we make a life for ourselves, which is good. It’s not a good idea to put off doing the things you want to do because you’re waiting for the right mate to come along. However, when we make too good a life for ourselves we may be reducing our chances of finding that mate.

If your life is filled to the brim with work, friends and family, you may be preventing yourself from finding a mate. If you can’t find time to search, how will you make time for the right person when he or she comes along?

We have to strike a balance between having a fulfilled life as a single person and devoting time to finding a mate. The right guy or gal is not going to knock on your front door tonight (or any other night) while you’re watching television. Once you’ve exhausted the obvious avenues for meeting singles, like work, friends of friends and social clubs, it can be very tempting to say that there’s just no one out there.

Remember, however, that you’re out there. So, certainly there are others like you. It just might be a little harder now to find them.

Dating Essentials Busy, Love, Old, Singles

A new study suggests that making dating a New Year’s Resolution may actually improve your chances of finding true love.

According to a report in the San Francisco Chronicle, making resolutions about how you approach dating and relationships can actually make you more successful at them.

For example, make a resolution to try new avenues for meeting people, such as taking classes or dating online. Or, make a resolution to be open to different types of people than you’ve dated before, such as people who have children or people whose education is very different from yours.

You may also want to make a resolution to stay away from the types of people you’ve dated in the past that haven’t panned out. You know, the bad boy rocker dude who can never commit, or the workaholic who never really has time for a relationship. While you may be attracted to these types initially, it might be time to say you’ve learned your lesson and move on to other types of people.

When you make a decision to change the way you think or act when it comes to dating, you have likely taken the step required to set yourself up for success. There’s an old saying that “if you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you always got”. This adage certainly applies to dating. If you haven’t been successful, then it’s time to change your approach – and what better time than the New Year?

Tips and Ideas Holidays, Love, New Year's Resolutions

It’s always disappointing when we find that the person we’re dating is just not the “one” for us. But, at some time or another, most of us will be in the position of thinking we want out of a relationship, and we need to know how to make the decision. Sometimes it’s pretty easy to know it’s time to get out, but other times we’re torn. To help make it easier to decide what to do, ask, yourself these questions:

What exactly is bothering me about the relationship?
Some issues are ones we can work with while others are “deal breakers”. For example, if your issue includes a big difference in basic values, such as ethics or honesty, you may have no option but to end the relationship. However, if your problem is that your partner works too much, there might be hope. You may just need to talk to your partner and see if they’re willing to change some habits to fix the problem.

How do I feel about the person?
If you’ve fallen in love with the person, you’ll likely be more willing to resolve differences than if the relationship is still casual. Taking the time to honestly ascertain your level of attachment can help avoid regretting your decision if you end the relationship.

Am I being realistic?
Take an honest look at your expectations in a partner and in a relationship. If you are constantly breaking up with the people you’re seeing because they don’t meet your expectations, then perhaps your relationship expectations are unrealistic. You’re never going to find someone who is perfect, so be sure you don’t let go of a quality relationship because you think “something better might come along”.

Am I prepared to make a clean break?
If you’re thinking about breaking up to get more attention from your partner, or to get them to work harder on the relationship, then you should rethink your plans. If you break up to get attention, your plan may well backfire.

Next month, we’ll look at how to deliver break up news.

Breaking Up Breaking Up, Differences, Love, Workaholics