There’s usually some pretty clear signs that all is not well in a relationship. However we are often too close and too involved to notice these signs ourselves. Often it takes our friends or family to point them out to us. Being in a relationship for a long period of time can seriously cloud your judgement. Knowing when to give up on a relationship is not as easy at it seems. Sometimes you can find yourself in a bad relationship, a one-sided relationship, or even a destructive relationship without even realising it. This happens simply because you’ve lived with your partner for so long and the relationship may have changed slowly over time, getting progressively worse.

Things that may have been little annoyances at the start may turn into much more serious issues later on. These can appear in many different guises, from partners who are abusive, partners who belittle you in public, who don’t care or show you respect, to those who are jealous, or who are possessive of your time.

So what keeps someone in such a relationship? The most common reasons they don’t just split are:

• Fear of change
• Fear of being alone
• Denial of the situation
• Guilt, especially when kids are involved
• A belief that the partner will change or go back to how they once were
• Putting up with them, because ‘when they are nice they are very nice’
• Being attracted to a ‘dominant’ personality

Unfortunately, getting into these types of relationships in the first place can be a repetitive pattern for some people. How ever much you love someone, it is not a reason for staying in a bad relationship. Don’t waste your life. Get out while you still have time and regain your self-respect. Getting out of a bad relationship is difficult to start with, but it is well worth the heartache and turmoil. Once out, the sunlight that was missing from your life will return, and a few months down the line, you’ll be amazed with yourself as to why you lived in such a situation for so long.

Rejection Abuse, Bad, Dump, Jealous, Love, Possessive, Rejection, Relationship

Big age gaps needn’t stop love!

Michael Douglas (61), Catherine Zeta-Jones (36)

Harrison Ford (64), Calista Flockhart (41)

Brad Pitt (42), Angelina Jolie (31)

Cameron Diaz (34), Justin Timberlake (25)

These super-celebs have something more in common than just blockbuster fame.

With a 25, 23, 11, and 9 year respective age differential, these star couples have an added dimension heaped on the usual relationship difficulties. Each is trying to make love work despite the host of problems that come specifically with a rather large age gap.

Sure, there’s plenty to gain by getting together with someone from a different generation.

Think about it. Everyday you get the chance to be with someone who really has an entirely different perspective than you do. They’re from a different time and era. So naturally they see things differently than you. And adding some of this ‘new other perspective’ to your own way of viewing the world is a definite bonus.

But, yep…there’s a bunch of difficult stuff to deal with too.

Different ages mean the two of you’ll be living through completely different life cycles. This can translate into totally different interests and friends. Maybe you’ll even have to seriously start thinking about health issues (if your partner is older than you) much sooner than you otherwise would have. And if there are children involved from previous marriages – whoa! – you might have your hands full. (Kids often like to wreak havoc on a new wife that’s hardly older than they are).

What’s more? Other people will do their best to make things worse. They’ll stare, gossip…and generally try to make you feel as if you’re some kind of freak.

Forget them. Who cares what other people think anyway!
Focus instead on those who believe in you. True friends will understand the real nature of your love and encourage you.

To get over some of those other difficulties…try taking up a common hobby.

Michael and Catherine golf. Cameron and Justin surf. And Brad and Angelina seem to share a passion for just about any daredevil activity, from motorcycling to flying.

Granted – A common lifestyle (i.e. show biz) probably also helps.

When it’s true love, age really is trivial. Some days might be tough. But don’t be afraid.
Just go for it.

Veronika Cardes

Diary Age, Celebrities, Generation, Kids, Love, Old, Relationships, Seniors, Young

Exhilarating, yet trying.

Foreign romances can be both extremely rewarding and challenging experiences.

If you’ve ever had a beau or beauty from a country other than your own, then you probably know exactly what I’m talking about. There’s excitement. It feels exotic. Somehow things seem different than in relationships with people from your native land.

You find yourself in awe over the small things. Sometimes it’s the cute accent. Sometimes the funny translations. And sometimes it’s just the way they continue to surprise you. Partners with a different mother-tongue often just keep coming up with thoughts and ideas that you may never have even contemplated. This is the good stuff. It’s what gives foreign romances that little something extra.

Yet differences can also translate into barriers. Without a common culture things can get tough, particularly in social situations. Take a typical evening out with a group of friends. If your sweetie is new to your country and language, it may be difficult for them to truly understand jokes, reminiscing or cultural references which are constantly made. Or, think about a trip to her/his parent’s house for the holidays. It can be awkward if none of you are able to communicate.

Things can get really hairy if you decide to marry. While the physical move from one country to the next may be a headache, immigration bureaucracy will definitely test your strength. Culture shock can also be very strong and put unanticipated negative stress on your relationship. And what if you decide to have children together? You may discover a new whole set of issues on which you and your partner vehemently disagree.

Making a foreign romance successful can mean a lot of extra work!

That said…..it’s well worth giving it a shot! – especially if you’re adventurous, tolerant and passionate about learning new cultures. Pairing up with someone from a different country provides a special opportunity to learn about an entirely new way of life. The more you become exposed to that other way of life, the more you develop your own knowledge and personality.

Keep in mind that just as meanings of love, romance, marriage, etc. vary across cultures, so may the motives for entering a relationship. I know plenty of folks who are happy with foreign partners for reasons other than so-called traditional ‘love’. A close friend, Steven, recently related just how happy he is for the incredible freedom he gets from his foreign wife. He says she (from Eastern Europe) is much more tolerant of ‘extramarital-ish’ behavior than women in his own society. And for him this freedom is really important. I have also spoken with women friends who say men from other cultures are attractive because they are much more passionate and attentive. For others, finances and visas are the real underlying motive.

Remember, there are lots of people living happy and exciting lives with foreign partners.
And you could too.

As well as numerous sites offering matchmaking services between Western men and foreign women such as AnastasiaWeb.com and InternationalCupid.com, there are also couple of articles you might want to check out on the topic: Why are Russian Women So Popular? and the finest Russian women still want American men – Why?

Wising you lots of luck in love,
Veronika Cardes

Relationships Culture, Foreign, Language, Long Distance Relationship, Love, Romance, Russian Women, Scam