If the claims of dating companies are to be believed, we are moving towards an age where meeting your significant other from behind a computer screen (or a mobile phone) is the norm rather than the exception! Facts and figures about the success of online dating services are not in short supply. For instance, EHarmony now claims credit for 5% percent of all new marriages in the US. Their main competitor, Match.com, together with research firm Chadwick Martin Bailey conducted a study which indicated that one in six marriages (17%) over the past three years was between couples who met via a dating website.

Just to put that into perspective, the findings of the Match.com study showed that twice as many marriages in the US took place between people who met online, than in bars, clubs and social events combined. Meanwhile, the world’s largest free site, Plentyoffish claims on its home page that 20,000 new singles are joining the site every day.

But just how realistic are these statistics?

Dating companies clearly have a vested interest in advertising the success and popularity of online dating. So just how realistic are these claims? Independent estimates of the numbers of visitors to online dating sites certainly seem to confirm them. With several thousand online dating sites in operation in 2011, and over 200 million active personal profiles, this means that about 1 in 5 (20%) of today’s internet users have a dating profile (excluding social networking sites which can also be used for dating).

However people have different motivations for joining a dating site. Not all are looking for a committed relationship, as a significant proportion of dating profiles are posted on adult oriented sites. Others sign-up because knowing other people still find them desirable makes them feel good about themselves. Even taking these cases into account, the findings of the dating companies do seem to be entirely plausible.

While internet dating is clearly a popular and growing phenomenon, we’ll have to wait a few more years yet before we find out how successful online marriages are in the long-term.

News & Views Dating Business, eHarmony, Marriage, Match.com, PlentyOfFish.com

After dating someone for a while, this is the question you start to ask yourself. The older we get, however, the more likely we are to question our “gut” about such things. If you’re starting to think your new love might be “the one” here are four questions to ask yourself to be sure.

• Are things completely natural between you? When you find the right person, there is no pretense; you’re no longer trying to impress them. You believe they love you for who you really are.
• Do you agree on the most basic values? For two people to have a long term commitment, they have the same basic values. In the long run, two people with very different ideas on honesty, family relationships and integrity will not last.
• Do you want the same things long term? Having similar long term goals is critical. Do you agree on whether or not to have children? Do you share religious beliefs, or have you come to an agreement about your differences in this area? If not, you can’t really be sure yet that this person is “the one”.
• Can you imagine life without them? Think about your life if the relationship ended. If you find that you can’t imagine how you could be happy without this person in your life, then he or she may be “the one”.

Diary Children, Compatibility, Marriage, Relationships

Thousands of happy couples. Thousands of marriages. The highest success rate online. These are just a few of the claims we are constantly hearing from online dating sites, both the major ones and the smaller, more specialized ones. But really, how successful is online dating? Can you trust and believe in what these sites are telling you?

The answer is a very murky “yes” and “no”. The reality is that online dating sites generally rely on self-reporting of happy couples and marriages, which means they need their members to submit comments, letters, and other input sharing their own experiences. And while there are indeed many success stories from online dating this kind of self-reporting is by no means scientific or reliable.

So what is a single person to do? Is it worth looking at the so-called success rates promoted by online dating sites when deciding which one (or ones) to join and participate in? The answer to that one is really up to you, but in general you should take these kinds of claims with a grain of salt.

In the real world of online dating you’re going to have to expect to have a lot of not-so-great dates as you move along the path toward finding someone really special. That, it turns out, is the real meaning of “success” in online dating, the willingness to persevere, keep going, and working toward whatever dating goal you set for yourself. It probably isn’t going to happen overnight, and it may even take several years in some cases. But if you stick with it and have realistic goals you’re likely to have a great deal of fun along the way.

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