In the wake of the economic downturn, financial woes have taken a dire toll on lovers and married couples, with deeds of financial betrayal driving a wedge between romantic partners. Secretive acts of spending money, holding secret accounts of stashes of money, and incurring debt unknown to your significant other – these scenarios are a sure sign that financial infidelity has taken a foothold in your relationship.

How can you identify if your love life is at risk from financial infidelity? What are some factors which signal the presence of deception?

Personal Risk Factors
Individual beliefs and attitudes about money issues play a key role in the fostering of financial infidelity. Couples which fit the high-risk group tend to find communication about finances a challenge, and will lapse into reticence the moment such matters crop up. This inability to maintain an open and calm communication about money indicates a weak relationship lacking in trust, emotional connection, and a healthy bond.

Common behavioral patterns which indicate a personal high risk situation include:

• Regularly lying about daily expenditures and purchases,
• constantly fighting with your partner when discussing money issues, and
• hoarding money for secret purchases without telling your significant other.

Social Pressures
Society has reached a point where it is often common practice to assess your partner’s worth based on his or her financial status and ability to attain material items. Couples who use money to flaunt their worth are highly likely to engage in power struggles with their partners, as they attempt to keep up with the Joneses. Such individuals will embark on a journey to acquire high-ticket items such as designer wear, exclusive addresses, and luxury cars at all cost.

People who strongly believe in meeting the demands of such societal pressures are often disappointed in relationships where their partner appears to be less wealthy than expected, or who fails to be in sync with their material goals. If the problem is not duly addressed, the unhappy individual eventually gets driven into committing financial infidelity.

External Risk Factors
Stressful situations in the professional field, family environment, and personal life, also play a crucial role in influencing the act of financial duplicity.

Spouses who have been caught in the wave of the economic recession and lost their jobs, a change in household dynamics where the breadwinner role is switched, and a significant increase in salary compensation due to a job promotion – these are common scenarios which have contributed to treacherous money behaviors in relationships.

Family factors such as a recent huge purchase of a new asset, property downsizing, and major medical bills due to sickness in the family etc, typically act as a catalyst in cultivating financial infidelity.

The personal lives of couples can also have a huge impact on their financial stability. Couples who have undergone a major shift in their relationship status from singlehood to marriage soon discover that deception is slowly taking root in the household. Similarly, personal experiences of mid-life crisis or fear of aging have resulted in an upsurge of financial treachery.

Should you find any of the above factors and scenarios familiar, there is no need to panic – understanding and identifying financial infidelity early in its stage development can help you and your partner open up a safe and honest dialogue with each other, and give the problem a quick nip in the bud before permanent damage sets in.

Relationships Infidelity, Money

Dating is fun, but, let’s face it, it’s expensive, too. Particularly in today’s economy, it’s important to find ways to go on a date without breaking the bank. Here are some date ideas that can provide a fun evening or afternoon for just a little cash.

• Attend a local art show, antique show or festival – During spring, fall and summer local events and festivals are easy to find. You can usually spend hours walking around and enjoying the festivities, and often admission is free. You’ll usually just need a little cash for buying some food and drink.
• Go on a picnic – Prepare a meal at home and take it to a nice spot. Location is critical for this date to be a success. Find a park or garden, or a beautiful place near a lake or river. Take along a Frisbee and some music and you have a very inexpensive and fun afternoon.
• Check out up and coming bands – No matter what your taste in music, there are local bands in your area that you can go see for little or no money. They typically play at smaller clubs where the cover charge is less and drinks cost less, too. You might find a new favorite group right in your own back yard.
• Take a class together – This is a great way to learn something new together if you’re seeing someone seriously, with a weekly date paid for up front. For example, you can take 10 weeks of ballroom dance classes for about the same cost as one meal in a nice restaurant.
• Cook at home – A fancy dinner you cook yourself is far less expensive than one in a restaurant. You can cook alone and surprise your date with your culinary talents, or you can make cooking the meal together part of the date itself.

Whether you’re seeing one person seriously or going on occasional dates with different people, it’s great to find new and creative ways to spend your time together. And, finding inexpensive options for fun dates means you can really relax and enjoy yourself without worrying about the cost.

Dating Essentials Date Ideas, Ho, Money

Ever since the fiasco involving “gate crashers” at a state dinner at the White House earlier this year, the subject of gate crashers has been more and more in the news lately. While the Secret Service is all focused on preventing this sort of thing from happening again at the White House, in the world of online dating the subject of gate crashers has come to the forefront.

What are online dating gate crashers? They are, quite simply, people who join and participate on niche dating sites without actually falling into that niche group. So for instance, on a specialty online dating site focusing on Jewish singles there are lots of members who really aren’t Jewish at all. They don’t necessarily lie about their religious affiliation because the site lets them select from a number of options (including “not active in the Jewish faith”) but they knowingly go onto the site looking for other singles when they have no history of being Jewish and no intention of converting.

The result? Frustration, for the most part. Imagine yourself as someone for whom religious faith is important, going out on a date with someone you met on the site. Now imagine what happens when you find out that apparently terrific person isn’t really part of your preferred faith after all. Another popular target for the “date crashing” crowd is the niche sites focusing on matchmaking wealthy clients. But that’s the subject of my next post.

The lesson here is to make sure you confirm details such as this during the “get to know you” phase of online interaction. This is especially important if you are looking for someone via a specialty or niche dating site. If that niche quality is really important to you then it’s in your best interest to verify the other person feels it is just as important as well.

Dating Essentials Gate Crashers, Lies, Money, Niche Dating, Religion