Last week we talked about the boyfriend/girlfriend match, that wonderful and exciting type of relationship that’s based so much on having fun, seeking out adventure, and spending time with someone who very likely is opposite to you in so many ways. It’s a very common type of match in the dating scene, but there’s another type of match that is also important to understand and consider.

It’s called the husband/wife match and its characteristics are both distinct and noticeable. This kind of match is based on enjoying each other’s company, but for reasons very different from the boyfriend/girlfriend match. A couple like this is usually two people who are very similar in a great number of ways; they probably like the same things, have similar life goals, place value on a steady and trusting relationship, and the like. It’s very common for this kind of couple to be very much the same in terms of their personalities; they come together out of a sense of feeling comfortable, connected, and partnered in the deepest sense of the word.

There’s a lot to like about this kind of match, especially if you’re interested in settling down into a longer term relationship. For some people this type of match screams “BORING!!!!” but that does not have to be the case at all. Two people can have fun together, it’s just that with this kind of match the definition of what’s fun (and the lengths you’ll go to in order to have that kind of fun) tends more toward the conventional rather than the adventurous.

So what kind of match do you want? There’s no right or wrong in this, just a matter of being honest with yourself (and with your partner) about your intentions toward the relationship and the kind of relationship you most want to have.

Dating Essentials Couples, Fun, Husband, Match, Personality, Wife

So much time, effort, and money goes into dating that you would think we would have a better idea of what kind of relationship is really “right” for us. Unfortunately, though, most people simply drift from date to date and relationship to relationship, hoping for something special to develop but doing very little to actually make it happen.

The problem it seems is that we simply do not know what kind of match is best based on our long term goals. There are two basic kinds of matches – the “boyfriend/girlfriend” and the “husband/wife”, both of which have definite characteristics that affect both short term and long term relationship success. This week let’s look at the first of these, the boyfriend/girlfriend match.

A match like this is based most often on having fun together. It is carefree, focused on having a good time, and often includes a touch of adventure or even danger in the mix. Two people in this kind of match are not thinking about long term commitment, or sometimes even short term commitment for that matter. No, they are most intent on enjoying each other’s company, doing interesting things, and sampling what the world has to offer. It’s pretty common for this kind of couple to be opposites when it comes to their personalities; opposites attract, after all, and it is this sense of being with someone who is very different from yourself that makes this kind of match so appealing.

There’s nothing wrong with finding and enjoying a boyfriend/girlfriend match, of course. The key is to understand it for what it is (and what it isn’t) and make a conscious decision about whether or not to choose this kind of a relationship approach.

Next up: The husband/wife match!

Dating Essentials Attraction, Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Personality, Relationships

Online dating sites have always tried to offer unique and interesting ways to match up potential mates. From personality traits and characteristics to hobbies and activities, there’s no shortage of supposedly “guaranteed” approaches to helping you find your life partner.

Now there’s something new in the world of online dating that might seem really strange – genetic profiling. Yes, genetic profiling. Sounds like something out of CSI, right?

The really interesting thing is that there is some scientific evidence to support the idea that your genes have some role to play in how compatible you are with another person. It seems there is a particular group of human genes called human leukocyte antigens (HLAs) that relate to your body’s immune functions, but they also seem to produce certain attraction-related responses in some cases.

This response was tested by – get ready for this – by conducting an experiment where women sniffed the sweaty t-shirts of men. Researchers found that women tended to prefer the scent of t-shirts from men whose HLAs were very different from their own. Additional research has been done over the last couple of years that seems to confirm there is at least some correlation between couples with different HLAs and their long term relationship satisfaction.

One company, called GenePartner, has started to offer testing to decipher your HLAs in the hope that someday the results from these kinds of tests will be incorporated into mainstream online dating websites. I wouldn’t recommend running out and spending your hard earned money on such a test right away, but it’s worth tucking away in the back of your mind as something to keep an eye on in the months and years to come!

News & Views Genetics, Hobbies, Personality, Profiling, Women