So much time, effort, and money goes into dating that you would think we would have a better idea of what kind of relationship is really “right” for us. Unfortunately, though, most people simply drift from date to date and relationship to relationship, hoping for something special to develop but doing very little to actually make it happen.

The problem it seems is that we simply do not know what kind of match is best based on our long term goals. There are two basic kinds of matches – the “boyfriend/girlfriend” and the “husband/wife”, both of which have definite characteristics that affect both short term and long term relationship success. This week let’s look at the first of these, the boyfriend/girlfriend match.

A match like this is based most often on having fun together. It is carefree, focused on having a good time, and often includes a touch of adventure or even danger in the mix. Two people in this kind of match are not thinking about long term commitment, or sometimes even short term commitment for that matter. No, they are most intent on enjoying each other’s company, doing interesting things, and sampling what the world has to offer. It’s pretty common for this kind of couple to be opposites when it comes to their personalities; opposites attract, after all, and it is this sense of being with someone who is very different from yourself that makes this kind of match so appealing.

There’s nothing wrong with finding and enjoying a boyfriend/girlfriend match, of course. The key is to understand it for what it is (and what it isn’t) and make a conscious decision about whether or not to choose this kind of a relationship approach.

Next up: The husband/wife match!

Dating Essentials Attraction, Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Personality, Relationships

Online dating sites have always tried to offer unique and interesting ways to match up potential mates. From personality traits and characteristics to hobbies and activities, there’s no shortage of supposedly “guaranteed” approaches to helping you find your life partner.

Now there’s something new in the world of online dating that might seem really strange – genetic profiling. Yes, genetic profiling. Sounds like something out of CSI, right?

The really interesting thing is that there is some scientific evidence to support the idea that your genes have some role to play in how compatible you are with another person. It seems there is a particular group of human genes called human leukocyte antigens (HLAs) that relate to your body’s immune functions, but they also seem to produce certain attraction-related responses in some cases.

This response was tested by – get ready for this – by conducting an experiment where women sniffed the sweaty t-shirts of men. Researchers found that women tended to prefer the scent of t-shirts from men whose HLAs were very different from their own. Additional research has been done over the last couple of years that seems to confirm there is at least some correlation between couples with different HLAs and their long term relationship satisfaction.

One company, called GenePartner, has started to offer testing to decipher your HLAs in the hope that someday the results from these kinds of tests will be incorporated into mainstream online dating websites. I wouldn’t recommend running out and spending your hard earned money on such a test right away, but it’s worth tucking away in the back of your mind as something to keep an eye on in the months and years to come!

News & Views Genetics, Hobbies, Personality, Profiling, Women

When it comes to dating, most of us are a little skittish. After all, we’re talking to someone we hardly know and hoping they like who we really are.

Well, most of us, anyway.

For the rest of the daters out there, you might not be skittish because you’re projecting a completely different personality than the one you wear during your dating off-hours. Yes, you are faking it during your dates, but it seems to work, so what’s the harm in it?

Let’s sit down for a moment and think about why being yourself is the best way to date:

• It’s easier
• It takes less energy
• You don’t have to constantly second guess your every word, action, and expression

When you are just ‘you,’ you get to show your date what they’re in for – like it or not. And would you really want to waste your time with someone who isn’t truly the person they seem to be? No, you’d call them a liar and something that was just trying to get something from you.

So, why are you doing it too?

Becoming more comfortable with yourself is not an overnight process, to be sure. But it is something which will help you hook up and match up with a person who likes you for who you are – on the date and down the road.

Self Confidence, Tips and Ideas Fake, Personality