Dating is supposed to be fun, right? Yet, so many of us are crippled with fear at the idea of approaching the opposite sex. It comes from a lack of confidence. We fear rejection and worry about what other people think about our looks and our personality. You see, many of us tend to focus on our flaws when it comes to connecting with the opposite sex.

We all have friends who approach the bar scene or any other potential meeting place with comfort and ease. And, we envy them. The difference between us and them is simply the fact that they see what they have to offer, while we see all the things we perceive as being “wrong” with us.

But, there’s hope for all of us who approach meeting a potential date with trepidation. Here are some ways to build your confidence. You’ll likely find that better confidence helps you in many areas of your life.

• Make a list of the things you like about yourself. Are you funny? Intelligent? Well-educated? Successful? Refer to your list before every outing that includes possibly approaching a member of the opposite sex. It will help you remember what you have to offer.
• Go out with friends who are good at meeting members of the opposite sex. Take advantage of your friends who seem to naturally attract members of the opposite sex. They can help you to get into a group setting, with several people to talk to. You may find that you do better once the initial ice is broken.
• Talk to people without an agenda. If you talk to someone with no expectations, then you’re not disappointed if no connection happens. The bonus is that your skills improve.
• Try meeting people online. Online dating is one of the most popular ways to meet members of the opposite sex. And, it’s great for someone who’s a little shy about striking up a conversation. Many people find it much easier to flirt and talk via email or online chat.

Self Confidence Friends, Rejection, Self Confidence

The world is full of songs (some good, some bad) about breaking off relationships for all kinds of reasons. If only it were as easy as some of them make it out to be! The reality is that you’re probably going to go through several different potential partners before finding that really special one, so sooner or later you’re going to have to face up to it.

You’re just not feeling it with a particular person and you want to break it off – now what?

Breaking up is hard to do (my apologies to Neil Sedaka) but it’s not impossible to do if you go about it the right way. While there’s no single “best” way to end it and move on, there are some general things to keep in mind:

1. Be honest. This is really, really, really hard to do. It’s tough to honestly tell someone you’re not interested in seeing them anymore, so it’s tempting to make something up. Don’t give in to this temptation because it’s only going to end up badly. It’s far better to open a conversation, share your honest feelings, and exit the situation gracefully.

2. Do it in person. Sometimes this isn’t possible, but if you can do it in person that’s the best choice. This doesn’t mean spending a long evening together and then springing it on the other person at the end, but it does mean having the courage to say what you need to say to his or her face.

3. Never burn a bridge. Old advice for sure, but still valid in today’s world. Never end a relationship by saying or doing mean things to the other person, even if it’s really, really tempting to do so. It’s a small dating world out there, and if you treat someone badly during a break up I can almost guarantee it will come back to haunt you at some point.

Breaking Up Breaking Up, Feelings, Rejection

If you’re in a relationship right now that’s not making you happy, maybe it’s time to take some advice from the current economic crisis and FIRE your significant other.

That’s right. If they’re not doing their job and you’re not interested in waiting for them to learn to change, it’s time to give them the boot, a pink slip, a kick in the behind.

It’s time to get fired up to do some firing.

• Make a list of their offenses – Before you talk to your soon to be ex, it’s time to sit and think about what you don’t like about them or about the way they are in the relationship.
• Make a list of their good qualities – But if you’re going to at least give your significant other a chance of saying with you, you need to think about the redeeming qualities they have too. You might be surprised at how much you do like.
• Think about a trial run – Just like a poor performance review, you might want to give your significant other a second chance to improve within a certain time frame. If they don’t improve, they’re gone.

Firing your significant other sounds harsh, and maybe it is. But if you’re not happy, it’s time to downsize your relationship.

Breaking Up Breaking Up, Rejection, Relationship