So much time, effort, and money goes into dating that you would think we would have a better idea of what kind of relationship is really “right” for us. Unfortunately, though, most people simply drift from date to date and relationship to relationship, hoping for something special to develop but doing very little to actually make it happen.

The problem it seems is that we simply do not know what kind of match is best based on our long term goals. There are two basic kinds of matches – the “boyfriend/girlfriend” and the “husband/wife”, both of which have definite characteristics that affect both short term and long term relationship success. This week let’s look at the first of these, the boyfriend/girlfriend match.

A match like this is based most often on having fun together. It is carefree, focused on having a good time, and often includes a touch of adventure or even danger in the mix. Two people in this kind of match are not thinking about long term commitment, or sometimes even short term commitment for that matter. No, they are most intent on enjoying each other’s company, doing interesting things, and sampling what the world has to offer. It’s pretty common for this kind of couple to be opposites when it comes to their personalities; opposites attract, after all, and it is this sense of being with someone who is very different from yourself that makes this kind of match so appealing.

There’s nothing wrong with finding and enjoying a boyfriend/girlfriend match, of course. The key is to understand it for what it is (and what it isn’t) and make a conscious decision about whether or not to choose this kind of a relationship approach.

Next up: The husband/wife match!

Dating Essentials Attraction, Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Personality, Relationships

The single life is something we mock. We talk about how horrible it is to celebrate holidays on our own, how terrible it is to walk into a party without a date, and how awful it feels when our families ask us (once again) if we’re ever going to find the right person.

But maybe those already in couples don’t understand.

Being single is an exciting time, a time in which we have more choices, more independence, and perhaps even more fun than when we’re in a couple. We get to learn about ourselves, who we are and what we truly enjoy. This is a time we all should embrace, rather than a time to try to avoid.

Instead of making a New Year’s resolution to find your true love, maybe it’s time to fall in love with your single life first. Not only is it going to help you enjoy the moments you experience now, but you’re also going to be able to embrace that future partner with the confidence of knowing who you really are.

When we simply focus on finding someone else, we can forget to think about what we like, what we want, and who we are. And that’s when we end up in relationships that are unbalanced and just wrong for our needs.

For today, be okay with being single. Be okay with being by yourself. After all, you do have options and you do have a life outside of dating. Don’t you?

Family Couples, Family, Love, Relationships, Single

People blog about everything and everyone it seems these days. From politics to their cats, it seems the blog has become the best way to communicate your feelings about every possible subject – even if no one is listening.

But with this ability to converse comes a little responsibility – after all, if you’re blogging about your dates, you might end up with unwanted attention and a long line of suitors that might run away before you even meet them.

If you’re going to discuss your online dates online, you need to know a few things:

• If you found your date online, they can find you – Don’t think that your blog is as innocent or as private as you might think. Everyone Googles their dates these days.
• Use pseudonyms – Don’t use your real name or their real names if you’re going to vent about your online dates.
• Consider keeping your opinion to yourself – While the business of online dating can be quite comical, often it’s better to stick to writing in a tangible journal instead of an online one.
• Only discuss the ‘bad’ dates – When you limit your talks about the bad dates, you might actually teach your future dates how to behave around you. But saving the good dates will allow your potential long term relationships the opportunity to grow uninterrupted.

Blogging can be a great way to release stress during the online dating process, but it can also hurt you. When you think about blogging, think about what you want a prospective date to read – because they will find you out. Eventually.

Tips and Ideas Blogging, Relationships, Stress