When we meet someone we really like, the focus is often on getting a first date. Once you go on that date, the relationship either goes further or it usually ends pretty abruptly. So, how do you handle a first date in order to make it more likely you’ll get a second? Here are seven things you should do if you’re really interested in getting that second date.

• Plan something to do – A first date activity makes both of you feel comfortable and gives you an automatic topic of conversation. Skip the cocktails idea for something more engaging.
• Don’t expect too much – This date should be about getting to know each other and nothing more.
• Be yourself – Don’t try to impress your date. Just look for common ground and enjoy yourself.
• Keep it short – It’s much better to have a short first date that leaves both of you more interested, than to have such a long evening that you run out of things to say.
• If you’re interested, let them know – If you had a good time and would like to see them again, say so. Just don’t be a clingon.
• Nothing more than a kiss. No matter how much fun you both had, anything more physical than a kiss risks putting the other person off.
• Ask them out. Don’t assume that the other person will take the lead. If you want to go out again, and you’re pretty sure the other person had a good time, too, it’s ok to ask at the end of the date. Or, call in a day or two.

Getting a second date should only be your goal, of course, if you really see a connection that at least leads you to believe that you’d have fun again. But, if you see that connection; don’t hesitate.

Dating Essentials First Dates, Relationships, Self Confidence

After dating someone for a while, this is the question you start to ask yourself. The older we get, however, the more likely we are to question our “gut” about such things. If you’re starting to think your new love might be “the one” here are four questions to ask yourself to be sure.

• Are things completely natural between you? When you find the right person, there is no pretense; you’re no longer trying to impress them. You believe they love you for who you really are.
• Do you agree on the most basic values? For two people to have a long term commitment, they have the same basic values. In the long run, two people with very different ideas on honesty, family relationships and integrity will not last.
• Do you want the same things long term? Having similar long term goals is critical. Do you agree on whether or not to have children? Do you share religious beliefs, or have you come to an agreement about your differences in this area? If not, you can’t really be sure yet that this person is “the one”.
• Can you imagine life without them? Think about your life if the relationship ended. If you find that you can’t imagine how you could be happy without this person in your life, then he or she may be “the one”.

Diary Children, Compatibility, Marriage, Relationships

So much time, effort, and money goes into dating that you would think we would have a better idea of what kind of relationship is really “right” for us. Unfortunately, though, most people simply drift from date to date and relationship to relationship, hoping for something special to develop but doing very little to actually make it happen.

The problem it seems is that we simply do not know what kind of match is best based on our long term goals. There are two basic kinds of matches – the “boyfriend/girlfriend” and the “husband/wife”, both of which have definite characteristics that affect both short term and long term relationship success. This week let’s look at the first of these, the boyfriend/girlfriend match.

A match like this is based most often on having fun together. It is carefree, focused on having a good time, and often includes a touch of adventure or even danger in the mix. Two people in this kind of match are not thinking about long term commitment, or sometimes even short term commitment for that matter. No, they are most intent on enjoying each other’s company, doing interesting things, and sampling what the world has to offer. It’s pretty common for this kind of couple to be opposites when it comes to their personalities; opposites attract, after all, and it is this sense of being with someone who is very different from yourself that makes this kind of match so appealing.

There’s nothing wrong with finding and enjoying a boyfriend/girlfriend match, of course. The key is to understand it for what it is (and what it isn’t) and make a conscious decision about whether or not to choose this kind of a relationship approach.

Next up: The husband/wife match!

Dating Essentials Attraction, Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Personality, Relationships