While we can sit back and point out all of the flaws in our dating life, maybe it’s time to start pointing out what we’ve done right – for a change. So often, we sit and we wonder, “Why am I alone?” But while this question is not going to be quieted any time soon, the validity of asking it in the first place is questionable.

Here’s the thing – being single is not a disease or something that needs to be ‘fixed.’ In thinking that you have some sort of problem, you begin to create the feeling that YOU are the problem.

And as the saying goes, “It takes two to tango.”

Being in a relationship (or not) is rarely the fault of one person. Since you need to have two people come together who both enjoy each other’s company and who are actively ready to be in a relationship, it’s almost as though the stars do need to align in a very precise manner in order for love to blossom.

Instead of simply giving up and taking the blame, you need to get out and start living the life you do have. Sign up for classes, become a part of your neighborhood watch, etc. Do things that make you happy. After all, people want to date someone who’s vibrant and alive – not someone who’s mopey.

That part IS your fault. But fixing it is easy.

Self Confidence, Tips and Ideas Attractive, Lonely, Relationships, Singles

Whether it’s the winter or the upcoming reminder of your single-ness (otherwise known as Valentine’s Day), you might find yourself thinking of your ex more when they’re not around. And though you had a good list of reasons for breaking up with them, you can’t help but wonder:

What if we tried again? Could it work this time?

You start to remember all of the good times, and despite any dating advice to the contrary, you begin to plan out a way to ‘accidentally’ bump into your ex and try to start up a new conversation.

Does this ever really work? It might. Here are some tips to improve your chances.

Ask your friends first whether it’s a good idea – When you’re the only one with the good memories, you might have a biased view of the situation. Ask a trusted friend to tell you the truth about what your ex is really like.

Check to make sure they’re available – There’s no sense in going after someone who is married or dating someone else.

Don’t have any expectations – Though your relationship used to be one way, chances are good that it will be different this time, so if you’re looking for that old relationship, you might be disappointed.

Dating an ex might be a way to finally get some closure on a relationship that didn’t quite make it, or it might be a fresh start to love. Either way, you’re not the only one who’s considered it. But you might be one the few that succeeds.

Breaking Up, Tips and Ideas Breaking Up, Exes, Married, Relationships

Cheating, unfortunately, is a very real thing that many people have to deal with at some point in their lives.

Your partner may start cheating for a variety of reasons; maybe they’ve become bored with the relationship, maybe they are finding they are connecting with someone else better, or maybe it is just pure lust that attracts them to this person.

Whatever the case, one thing that you can be sure of is that it’s likely going to hurt. When you find out that you’re partner has cheated, your trust in them will be broken and as such, you may start questioning whether you can continue the relationship.

If you know how to deal with cheating, you can handle it better.

The Confrontation

First you must decide how you are going to go about confronting your partner for cheating. Most people do not readily admit to their partner they have cheated so it might be up to you to bring it up.

Unless you have solid evidence that it is indeed taking place, it’s best not to try and place blame, but rather pose questions and see how they answer. Sometimes, they’ll realize you’re onto something and come clean with you right then and there.

Other times, you’ll have to press a little more for information.

Be sure to use plenty of ‘I feel’ and ‘I think’ type of phrases since this comes across as less directive in nature.

If you do have solid evidence and are fully decided that you are not going to continue on with the relationship, then you can come right out and say what you’ve found and inform them that you know. They may try and deny it, in which case it only proves to you that not only do they cheat, but they lie as well. This is likely not someone you want to be with anyway, so be happy you found these two character traits out now.

The Aftermath

After the confrontation has taken place, it’ll be time for you both to decide where to go from there. If your partner expresses interest in continuing with the relationship and it was a one time cheating occurrence (they state they are not going to see this person again), then it’ll be up to you to decide whether you feel you can overcome this.

Some individuals are a firm believer in the saying, ‘Once a cheater, always a cheater’. You may have your own views on this, but do consider, for select people, after they have cheated, they realize just how terrible it felt and that will scare them from every doing it again. You know your partner and whether this may apply to them.

If you do decide to continue with the relationship, expect your partner to give you full information about their ware-abouts for the next few months – or however long it takes for them to earn back your trust. You are justifiable in this position to being uncertain of them and if they want to get back together with you, they should be fully willing to do this. It was, after all, their mistake.

If you decide it will just be too hard for them to regain your trust, or they decided that they are not going to stop seeing whomever they are cheating with, then it it’s a really good idea for you to look into some counselling sessions.

A cheating partner can really affect your own self-esteem and beliefs about relationships. If you want to have a trusting relationship down the road, it’s important for you to resolve your feelings related to this person’s actions and come to the understanding that not everyone will betray your trust.

The last thing you want to happen is for this one time occurrence to start affecting your relationships down the road, so be sure to take some time for yourself and look after your needs.

While it was their actions that caused the break-up, unfortunately you are going to be the one who has to deal more with it during the aftermath.

Cheating is a very destructive thing in relationships and many, many individuals get hurt by it each day. You really must have a good hard look at your partners actions, whether they seem regretful, and what kind of things they are willing to do to maintain the relationship if you choose to go on (going to counselling, frequent checking in with you, giving you their schedule, etc).

Trust is something that when broken, is not easy to earn back. You, and you alone are going to be the one to determine whether you can give this back to your partner or not.

About The Guest Blogger: Vicky Zhou is a part-time writer, blogger, volunteer, and enjoys talking and writing about dating, relationships and love.

Affairs and Cheating, Relationships Affairs, Boredom, Cheating, Counselling, Forgiveness, Infidelity, Relationships