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Posts Tagged ‘Shyness’

How to Break the First Date Ice

July 31st, 2007

Even if you’ve been on hundreds of first dates, they never seem to get any easier, do they? Those first few minutes are always awkward and strained as you search to find something you have in common. You’ll be happy to know that this is so common that hundreds of books and websites have been written solely to give advice on how to break the ice during that first date.

Of course, more advice can’t hurt.

When you’re out on this first date, you might want to remember that you’re not the only one that’s nervous. If neither of you know each other, it’s going to be quite normal for the both of you to have some troubles talking at first. What you might want to do is have something immediately that you can talk about so that you don’t have to think about where to begin. You can even practice it if you want to.

Or you can do something that doesn’t involve a lot of talking first during your date – i.e. a movie – so that you both have something to discuss when you’re eating. Even if you don’t have anything else in common, you will have the movie.

The point of breaking the ice is to make you both comfortable enough to talk as though you’ve known each other for years or to talk enough to get to know each other a little better. And from there, you might continue the conversation on the next date.

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Can You Take a Risk?

March 14th, 2007

Being single is easy; dating is hard. Even with the emergence of online dating, it seems that more people than ever are single and staying that way. This creates the quandary of whether online dating is not as effective as it’s thought to be or if the daters are taking their real life behaviors and are bringing them online.

When you’re out at a bar, you tend to behave a certain way in order to attract those that you want to date or get to know better. If you haven’t been successful in this dating scene, however, you might find that your behaviors are actually more subtle than you think – and the other person just isn’t getting the hint.

To help with this problem, you decide to try online dating, thinking that it will help you overcome your shyness and your inability to talk to others. What you might want to realize is that online dating can still allow you to act the way that you did out in the ‘real’ world, so you’re still single and wondering why.

Dating experts believe that many singles are still single because they’re not taking risks or being as persistent as they need to be. With all of the information we’re bombarded with each day, those that we’re attracted to might not realize that we’re hitting on them. You need to be bold no matter where you are when you’re trying to attract a date.

When you’re online, you need to have a profile that’s fun and exciting and really talks about who you are and what makes you special. When you’re out in that bar, you need to create a way for people to notice you – even if it’s simply a bright color that you’re wearing.

Taking a risk to be noticed is the way to attract more dates than you ever thought possible. Try it.

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How to be Confident

November 22nd, 2006

It’s no secret that many women are attracted to confident men. Just ask any woman what she finds attractive in a man, and chances are that confidence and self assurance will be high on her list. Very few women are attracted to men lacking confidence or with low self esteem. Being shy or introverted can be a real handicap when it comes to approaching women. So why is this so? Why is confidence so important to women? In these days of equality, you’d think that this would have less significance. After all, men aren’t so fussy. Well, the modern world may have changed, but when it comes to finding a partner, our desires are pretty much the same as they were centuries ago.

To a woman, a man’s confidence is one indication of his status. He can speak his mind knowing that others will listen. Men who have high self-esteem often have the respect of others. A confident man makes a women feel attractive and sexy, while men who are too submissive or lack the confidence to speak their mind will sadly have a hard time getting noticed.

Confidence is about how you feel about yourself. A lack of confidence can nearly always be traced to feelings of self-doubt and low self esteem. You may be a “nice guy”, but if you’re failing at the first hurdle when approaching women, it could very well be down to your lack of confidence. People who appear the most confident are not necessarily better, more intelligent, or more attractive than those who lack confidence. People that appear outwardly confident may have insecurities and fears just like the rest of us. However the difference is that they believe in themselves.

Given that this can be make-or-break for many women, it’s worth putting in a little effort to help improve low self esteem. Anyone can be more confident with a little effort and a little practice. There’s some excellent advice online, for instance the website Self-Confidence.co.uk has many self help articles and confidence boosters, and there’s even an online course that you can take. Read more on how to improve confidence.

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