Thousands of happy couples. Thousands of marriages. The highest success rate online. These are just a few of the claims we are constantly hearing from online dating sites, both the major ones and the smaller, more specialized ones. But really, how successful is online dating? Can you trust and believe in what these sites are telling you?

The answer is a very murky “yes” and “no”. The reality is that online dating sites generally rely on self-reporting of happy couples and marriages, which means they need their members to submit comments, letters, and other input sharing their own experiences. And while there are indeed many success stories from online dating this kind of self-reporting is by no means scientific or reliable.

So what is a single person to do? Is it worth looking at the so-called success rates promoted by online dating sites when deciding which one (or ones) to join and participate in? The answer to that one is really up to you, but in general you should take these kinds of claims with a grain of salt.

In the real world of online dating you’re going to have to expect to have a lot of not-so-great dates as you move along the path toward finding someone really special. That, it turns out, is the real meaning of “success” in online dating, the willingness to persevere, keep going, and working toward whatever dating goal you set for yourself. It probably isn’t going to happen overnight, and it may even take several years in some cases. But if you stick with it and have realistic goals you’re likely to have a great deal of fun along the way.

News & Views Couples, Dating Business, Marriage, Success, Trust

We all have seen the commercials and heard the hype about how some dating sites use “scientific” methods to match people based on personal characteristics, compatibility, and the like. But does this really work? Is there any evidence to show that there truly is a science to matchmaking? The answer is, it depends.

Let’s start with what it means to take a scientific approach to matching singles with each other. For paid online dating sites like eHarmony.com and Match.com, this means taking known research about the things that tend to cause marriages to fail (smoking, age differences, lack of common interests, etc.) and using this information to match people together. The theory is if they can minimize the problem areas that often lead to divorce in the first place, they can match singles more successfully and get better results.

The problem has been in actually verifying this as a successful matchmaking method. EHarmony.com and Match.com recently published their “success rates”, but these are put out there in terms such as the number of emails exchanged per year, the number of “winks” sent out each year, and the number of dates their users go on each year. This is interesting information (mostly for advertisers) but doesn’t necessarily help determine if their matching methods succeed where it really counts – helping you find someone special to share your life.

Do I think dating sites that use this approach are necessarily bad? No, of course not. There are plenty of singles who have found partners using this kind of approach. All I’m saying is it’s a good idea to have an objective view of what they’re offering and promising if you’re going to choose to use their services.

Relationships eHarmony, Match.com, Matchmaking, Science, Success

You hear all of the horror stories -that online dating is scary, dangerous, or, even worse, unsuccessful.

But are these just old wives’ tales?

The truth is that online dating IS successful – a lot. But you might have to adjust your definition of success for as moment.

Are you going to meet someone who is perfect? Probably not. But you will meet people who share your interests. And then you at least have the chance that you could have a love hook up.

Dating is the goal of online dating, isn’t it? Marriage is a great side effect, but that’s not what you should be aiming for right from the start. You should be aiming to meet people, and to have a little fun.

And with the expectation of having fun, how can anything go wrong?

So, the advice to take from this posting today is to go into dating with an open mind. Get to know that other person, enjoy their company, and when things are going well, just have fun.

When you’re relaxed, you’re often more yourself and often you tend to let little things go – the little things that might cause you to break up with someone before you fall in love with them.

Relax a little and enjoy online dating – it’s going to work. Maybe not today, but it will.

Dating Essentials Breaking Up, Fun, Success