Yes, people lie. While this isn’t a shocking revelation to anyone, it certainly seems to be forgotten when it comes to online dating. People think that just because they’re meeting others who want to find a date too that everything is going to go perfectly.

Not quite.

Just as in the ‘real’ dating world, some people aren’t all that they seem. To help you spot the liars before they get into your home, here are some red flags that the person you like shouldn’t become a person you love.

• They never want to meet in person – If you’re on a dating site, you should be there to actually meet people, not just to ‘hang out’ in IM boards and in chat rooms.
• Their picture doesn’t quite match up to how they describe themselves or you meet in person and they’re nothing like their picture – If they lie about what they look like, who knows what else they’ll lie about?
• They can’t give you an answer as to why they’re dating online – Everyone has a reason. If they’re honest about what they want and you don’t agree with them, that’s okay. But if they avoid answering that question, they’re hiding a spouse probably.
• They only use free sites – If you’re trying to find someone to hook up with, you use free sites. But if you’re looking or something long term, you’re willing to put your money where your motivations are. Many people on free sites are just looking for sex or they’re looking to cheat on a spouse.
• They don’t look you in the eye when you meet.
• They change your date suddenly at the last minute.

Over time, you’ll be able to spot the liars from their profiles, but until then, it’s best to treat any prospective first date like an employee you might hire. And they have to prove they’re qualified and up to your high standards.

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One of the main reasons people avoid online dating is because it seems to be an unsafe method of meeting that special someone.  You don’t get to see anything more than their picture and you can’t be sure anything they say is true.

Consequently, a lot of people are staying off line, but are also staying single.

The idea of background checks has become a popular selling point for sites like True.com.  By screening all of their singles, members of the site feel safer knowing that they are talking to the ‘real’ person they think they are talking to.

Or are they?

There’s a lot of discussion right now as to whether these background checks are actually all that effective.  After all, thieves and con artists thwart them in other situations, why is it so difficult to believe that they can’t slip past them here too?

Some people are crying ‘foul’ for these background checks as they generally are only a cursory check that doesn’t usually spot the liars.

But with potential new legislation making background checks necessary for online dating, is this combination of events setting up the online dating system for a fall?

If this legislation is enacted, more singles might come online, thinking that online dating is safer.  But since the checks are often meaningless, this might actually increase the dangers of getting online – more people = more problems.

In the next few years, this question is going to be something that people consider before searching for love online.  For if the checks in place aren’t really helping, then what’s the benefit to them?

Happy Valentine’s Day?

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It’s the beginning of the year and you’re already behind with all of the Christmas bills that are now due. So when you want to sign up for a dating service site, with its high monthly fee, how are you protecting yourself and your budget?

Before you even plunk down your credit card, you need to be aware of one thing – dating sites want to make money. But at the same time, there are a number of dating sites who simply exist to take money from people without giving them anything in return.

At least, that seems to be what US and World Report claim.

Here are some ways to make sure you are not only protecting yourself, but also getting your money back if you should be dissatisfied with the service:

• Investigate the site before you sign up – Don’t just sign up on the first site you find. Read reviews. Find out what your friends are using. Take some time to figure out whether this site seems like it’s set up to help you.
• Read the contracts – Find out how much money you need to pay and whether you will be signed up for a monthly charge from the start.
• Try to pay by check – If you can, try to pay by paper check. This way, if you’re done with the service, they can’t automatically charge you on your credit card. True, this is a rare feature in dating sites, but if possible, it’s the best deal.
• Find out who to contact with complaints before you have a complaint – This way, you can give them a call and see how helpful they are before you sign up, letting you know how helpful they will be when you are a member.
• Keep records of your charges.

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