They can’t stand you going out for a night with your friends. You’ve caught them reading your text messages and emails. Your relationship seems to swing back and forth between periods of extreme closeness and emotional distance. You could be seeing signs that you are involved with a possessive partner.

Of course, there are many varying degrees of possessiveness. It could be the nagging feeling of jealousy that is easily ignored, or something far more sinister. Being in a relationship with a possessive person can be hard work. It’s a stressful situation for you both. Possessiveness has been the end of many otherwise good relationships.

What are the Signs?

There are many signs that your relationship with your partner has become possessive. They include:

• You feel there is a breakdown of communication, and you don’t feel comfortable discussing certain topics.
• Your partner criticizes you and does not support your decisions.
• Your partner discourages you from spending time with people outside of the relationship.
• You no longer feel free to express yourself.
• You feel like you are losing touch with your own identity.
• You may feel like you are very close at one time, then suddenly feel distant.
• You have fights which come out of nowhere.
• You feel trapped in the relationship.

The Green-Eyed Monster

Jealousy adds fuel to the fire of a possessive relationship, and unfortunately, the two often go hand in hand. While some jealousy in relationships is created by genuine concern, having a poor sense of self-esteem can also inflame these feelings.

When Jealousy Becomes Emotional Abuse

We all get a little bit jealous sometimes. Practically every person in a relationship has at some stage second guessed their partner’s movements. There is a big leap from suspicious minds to a possessive relationship.

The difference between the two is in the effects of your partner’s actions. Are they causing you undue stress, worry, and anxiety? Are you thinking twice before speaking your mind? Do you have to constantly reorganize your plans, or not take part in activities you might like to? If so then you may be in a possessive relationship.

Signs that your partner is possessive can signal the initial stages of emotional abuse. In these kinds of relationships, one partner will seek to control the other by isolating them from their friends and family. In a way, they also isolate them from their own identity, by belittling their self-esteem and destroying any sense of value they have about themselves. If you feel that your relationship has become abusive, then it’s time to speak to a counselor, or seek out some help.

How Can You Move Past This?

The best way to overcome a possessive partner is to speak about it openly. This may sound like a difficult thing to do. It may help to prepare yourself by making notes of what you would like to bring up. Having a third person present, such as a counselor, can also be of help.

Relationships Abuse, Jealous, Partner, Possessiveness, Self Esteem, Trust

It’s said that if a couple can agree on sex, money, and politics, then they have a good chance of having a happy and lasting union. But is having a similar outlook on just three areas of life – admittedly important areas – enough to keep two people from straying? Some couples may agree on almost every aspect of their life together, but that may not necessarily mean that they will remain faithful to each other and make it to their golden wedding anniversary. So what are the likely causes of infidelity in a marriage, and how can a couple head them off?

Feeling Neglected

A common reason for people cheating in a relationship is that they feel they’re not receiving the level of attention they deserve from their partner. It’s a common problem, because after years together it’s easy for two people to take each other for granted. And then one day one of them begins to feel that there may be someone out there who would love, respect, and care for them better. Instead of talking about the situation with their partner and trying to resolve the conflict, some people feel the better option is to find someone else. Oftentimes, added to this sense of longing is a somewhat romanticized version of love.

A woman whose husband doesn’t behave in the way she wants him to will often fantasize about a man who is ideal in every sense. Unfortunately, it’s rare that she finds this man, and what often happens is that she discovers the man she left her spouse for turns out to be rather similar to her ex-partner, and some years down the line she’s in exactly the same position she was before she embarked on her affair.

Similarly, a man whose wife is no longer as receptive to his sexual advances as she once was may well look for comfort in the arms of another woman. This is the classic case of “my wife doesn’t understand me” syndrome. Again, in this situation a man may merely be trading his existing model for a newer one, and the novelty factor will, over time, fade. So, too, will his feelings of euphoria, which is often what a new relationship can bring with it (and another reason why some people have affairs). With a new lover, an individual’s flaws and inadequacies disappear, and they’re reminded only of how wonderful they are – until some months later when the relationship settles into the stage where both parties adopt a more realistic and less emotional approach to being together.

Lack of Communication

Communication is an integral part of any successful relationship. Once communication stops, there’s very little that can be done to resolve any existing problems or deal with any issues that may arise. Whatever difficulties a couple has to deal with, provided both parties are still speaking to each other, then there’s a good chance that they can overcome them and move on. Furthermore, addressing and resolving problems can make a union stronger. However, for some couples, talking about problems in their relationship is difficult, because it means that they may have to address their own behaviors, and some people can find it difficult to acknowledge their character flaws, or to accept that their partner sees them as anything other than perfect.

But when communication breaks down, many people leave a relationship, as they can’t see a way forward. And even if they don’t walk out on a partner, they’re very likely to have an affair. What starts off as a platonic relationship with a colleague who actually listens and communicates with them, can often lead to a fully-blown intimate affair, a situation from which there’s sometimes no return.

Lack of Trust

Trust is the bedrock of any solid relationship. It’s almost impossible for any partnership to survive if one or both parties are unable to trust the other. Lack of trust can lead to negative and destructive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. If one half of a couple is convinced that their partner is unfaithful, then he or she could very well adopt the attitude that what’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander, and take up with a number of lovers, which would very probably result in the break-down of the relationship. Even if there’s no infidelity in a relationship, if a partner’s lack of trust becomes extreme it can sometimes push the other to have an affair. The relationship can reach the stage where an accused partner feels that his or her only course of action is to leave – or to run to someone else, someone who isn’t mistrusting and constantly suspicious.

Resentment or Revenge

Harboring resentment toward a partner is a far from healthy attitude to have when in a relationship. Feelings of resentment can lead to thoughts of revenge which may result in infidelity. Perhaps a woman has discovered that her partner has had a one-night stand and instead of trying to deal with the situation to the benefit of their relationship, she decides that she, too, will have a night of fun. For some couples evening up the score may well be the end of the matter, helping them to move forward; for others, unfortunately, the repercussions from any act of revenge could very well irrevocably damage their relationship.

Whenever conflict arises in a relationship, how a couple deals with it is usually an indication of what each wants from the relationship, and how committed they are to making their union work. Sexual infidelity can destroy a relationship, but it doesn’t always have to be that way. Provided a couple is able to identify why the infidelity happened and can agree on a course of action to ensure that it doesn’t happen again, then they stand a good chance of repairing the damage and strengthening their relationship. However, it’s vital that both parties want the same thing: to resolve the issue and to move on as a couple, stronger and more committed to making their relationship work.

Affairs and Cheating Affairs, Cheating, Communication, Infidelity, Sex, Trust

Thousands of happy couples. Thousands of marriages. The highest success rate online. These are just a few of the claims we are constantly hearing from online dating sites, both the major ones and the smaller, more specialized ones. But really, how successful is online dating? Can you trust and believe in what these sites are telling you?

The answer is a very murky “yes” and “no”. The reality is that online dating sites generally rely on self-reporting of happy couples and marriages, which means they need their members to submit comments, letters, and other input sharing their own experiences. And while there are indeed many success stories from online dating this kind of self-reporting is by no means scientific or reliable.

So what is a single person to do? Is it worth looking at the so-called success rates promoted by online dating sites when deciding which one (or ones) to join and participate in? The answer to that one is really up to you, but in general you should take these kinds of claims with a grain of salt.

In the real world of online dating you’re going to have to expect to have a lot of not-so-great dates as you move along the path toward finding someone really special. That, it turns out, is the real meaning of “success” in online dating, the willingness to persevere, keep going, and working toward whatever dating goal you set for yourself. It probably isn’t going to happen overnight, and it may even take several years in some cases. But if you stick with it and have realistic goals you’re likely to have a great deal of fun along the way.

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