Finding a good relationship is hard; staying in one can sometimes even be harder. And, one of the reasons that it is sometimes so hard is because people have these expectations about how a relationship is supposed to work that make them give up too soon. Are you the victim of one of these five relationship myths?

• 1. Great relationships require that we completely understand each other.
  If you’re looking for a partner who completely understands you, or one that you understand completely, prepare to be disappointed. Men and women are different, and we should celebrate our differences.

• 2. To have a great relationship, we must solve all our problems.
  There are many problems in a relationship that can never be solved. As long as you can agree to disagree about some things, you can still have a great relationship.

• 3. We must be able to sustain our initial romantic feelings forever.
  Every relationship needs romance, but we can’t expect that initial feeling of giddiness to go on indefinitely. At some point, that early passion you feel will change. But, it doesn’t mean you’re not in love. If you move on every time the giddiness fades, you’ll never be in a long-term relationship.

• 4. I should be able to say whatever’s on my mind.
  You will always need to take care to protect your partner’s feelings. While you should be able to talk about your feelings honestly, you must be still be careful not to say something you might regret later.

• If I’m in the right relationship, it will have nothing to do with sex.
  While good relationships have many layers, the sexual aspect is very important to long-term success. The sexual aspect of our relationship is critical to healing the little irritations of life and relaxing as a couple. Sex is an essential part of any successful long-term relationship.

Finding the right partner is difficult in any case. However, if we place unrealistic expectations on our relationships, we can make finding a mate downright impossible. But, if we keep our relationship expectations realistic, we give ourselves a much better chance of finding true love.

Relationships Breaking Up, Couples, Partner, Sex, Truth

Last month we talked about how to decide if a relationship is not working. This month we’re going to give some tips for actually making the break if you’ve made the decision that the relationship isn’t going well. It’s never easy, but if you follow these rules, you should be able to make a clean break without too much drama.

• Don’t break up in a public place – It is inconsiderate to take someone on a date to break up with them. If your date becomes upset, you may both be embarrassed if you’re in public. Ask to come over to their home and talk, instead.
• Don’t break up with a letter or email – That just proves you’re a coward. If you’ve been dating the person, you owe them the courtesy of telling them face to face.
• Be kind, but be honest – Don’t say “It’s not you; it’s me”, or any of those other tired clichés. Tell your partner the truth; but do it in a kind and compassionate way. They are sure to appreciate your honesty and respect your courage.
• Don’t call it a “break” – Saying “we need to take a break” is just a way of breaking up without actually saying so. If you know that you want the break to be permanent, just say so.

Breaking Up Breaking Up, Relationships, Truth

When you go to Las Vegas, you don’t just put all of your money into one slot machine and hope for the best, do you?

(Okay, if you do, this might be why you’re not winning at all.)

The same logic needs to apply to your online dating adventures. You need to start looking for ways to boost your odds of finding Mr. or Mrs. Right. And you can do this by signing up with more dating websites.

Sure, you might think this is an expensive way to find love, but with numerous free sites available, you don’t have to spend on all of the dating websites. You can sign up on several sites at a time, exposing the same profile to as many potential interests as possible. In doing so, you will up your chances of love, and that is a pretty sound investment.

It will be helpful too if you post the same (or basically the same) profile on each site. This way, you can keep your facts straight as to what people should know about you when they get to your profile. It will also help if you use the same pictures so if others are on the same sites as you are, they aren’t going to contact you 15 times.

Being lucky in love always involves a roll of the dice, but if you want to make sure you get the right numbers, you need to play smart.

Dating Essentials Love, Personal Profiles, Truth, Winning