You don’t want to be the poor sucker who whines to his buds about all the time and money he wasted on whatshername (you know, that cutie who ran hot and cold until she finally burned him for good!) The truth is, you don’t want a woman who has to play hard to get – you want the one who is hard to get. (Well, not hard for you to get, but impossible for those other guys!) You’re looking for the one who offers what all men want – a vixen in the bedroom, and who is fun and worthwhile elsewhere. Pay attention to the differences between these critical signals when you’re getting to know the fortunate femme who caught your eye.

CATCHABLE: A woman who has her own interests is good.
SKIPPER: A woman who relies on you to make her feel good about herself.

When she says she can’t see you this weekend, but offers an alternative day, she’s showing you that she is interested in you. She’s also showing you that she can keep her word to people, even if that means keeping her promise to herself to get her homework done. A busy woman might be legitimately hard to get, but worth the extra effort.

On the other hand, a woman who declines your invitation and is unwilling to commit to an alternate plan is either not that interested or she’s playing mind games. Either way, you lose. Set your scope on someone who deserves your attention.

CATCHABLE: A woman who refuses to date you while working things out with him.
SKIPPER: A woman who agrees to date you while she’s still seeing another guy.

Any woman who keeps her eye out for the next best thing that comes along isn’t worth a second glance. Does this need any further explanation? Don’t fall for her sad story. Even though you dream of being the prince that saves her from that mean ol’ dragon, once she’s in your arms, you’ll become the next fire-breathing menace in her life. She’s not mature enough to handle relationships on her own, and that includes the one you get into with her.

If she lets you know she is interested but wants to take care of unfinished business with a soon-to-be ex, ask her how long it will require. If her answer is “I don’t know,” or she expects it to take more than two weeks, step aside and date women who are available to be with you, because this one’s not ready to give up her baggage. She needs to end that relationship and take time to heal from it before jumping into a new one. A sound rule of thumb is to wait until she’s been single a week for each month they were together. If she was with him more than two or three years, give it at least six months.

CATCHABLE: A woman who says she’s interested, and shows it.
SKIPPER: A woman who claims she’s interested, but doesn’t always act like it.

If she flirts with other guys when you’re not around (or even when you are) after you’ve let her know it bothers you, either she’s not that interested or you are too sensitive. If she’s into you, she’ll stop if she really has been crossing a line. If she claims you’re being too possessive, she might be right, but she’s not right for you. Set her free to find someone who gets turned on by such behavior and find someone who shows that she can appreciate your values.

Flirting isn’t the only way a woman can act disinterested. Some women are coached to believe that if they are unavailable to you, it will pique your interest. It’s true that too much togetherness can breed boredom, so don’t panic if your sweetheart decides to go out with other friends instead of seeing you this weekend. Conversely, if you discover that she’s unavailable too often, ignoring your calls and texts, spending time with an ex, or doing things that violate your principles, be open about your expectations. Recognize if her reaction is anything short of respectful disagreement. She doesn’t have to have your values, but she does have to care about them, doesn’t she?

If she is inconsiderate in any way, carefully consider her response. An interested woman will take your concerns seriously. A manipulative one will become defensive. If her response is to find something to blame you for, or to deny your perceptions, it’s a subtle indicator that she doesn’t see you as her equal. Instead, she thinks her own values and interests are more important than yours. It might not seem like a big deal right now, but after months or years of this attitude coming at you, it will blossom into a major power struggle over minor issues – one that is unlikely to ever get resolved.

A woman who is attracted and interested won’t give you mixed signals. If you’re confused by your current girlfriend’s behavior, these three principles will help you get things back on track or let you get off that train. You won’t be that sad sucker who elicits pity from his friends. Instead, you’ll have the confidence that comes with knowing that you won’t get taken for a ride.

By Kathy Batesel

Relationships Flirting, Hard to Get, Mind Games, Self Confidence, Women

So you’re finally ready to go on that first date, complete with your newly purchased outfit and perfectly coiffed hair. Your heart is likely aflutter with excitement! Now make the most of your new dating opportunity by impressing your guy. It’s best to be yourself in a relationship, but a first date is the time to show off your very best qualities and make a good impression. Avoid being these gals on your first date, and you’ll have a much better shot at that second date.

Meager Bird
This just in: men are becoming wise to the fact that women also need to eat to stay alive. The secret is out; eating two grapes and some lettuce without dressing is not nearly enough to provide the proper nutrition you need to sustain a healthy body. Nevertheless, women often order the most meager selection on the menu for their first date. Contrary to popular belief, this actually makes many men uncomfortable, feeling self-conscious about what they have ordered and wondering if it’s perceived as too much. This doesn’t mean you need to order the biggest steak and potato dinner on the menu, but at least order something you actually enjoy. Your date will notice you enjoying your dinner, and will likely feel you are a confident woman who can order and eat whatever she wants, whether you are a size 2 or 22.

Chatty Cathy
Women have a natural tendency to talk far more than men, and this is only magnified on the first date because of nerves. Because men process information more quietly, they need a break from all the chatter to digest what you are saying. So before your first date, practice allowing moments of silence in your conversations, so you are not perceived as a Chatty Cathy, which can be overwhelming to a man. Practicing these moments of silence and then using this skill on your date may even result in your date taking the opportunity to talk more!

The Princess
So maybe your food is not perfectly prepared, or it’s too humid outside which makes your hair horrible, or perhaps your feet hurt from the four-inch heels you are wearing. Your first date is not the time to complain about every single thing that bothers you slightly. Instead of focusing on the things about your day or week or year that have gone wrong, focus on all those things that have gone wonderfully, and mention those things to your date instead of complaining. Making a list beforehand will do wonders in helping you prepare, so you don’t come off as The Princess to your date.

With a little preparation before your first date, you will be ready to avoid being these types that send your brand new guy running for the door, and it may even lead to another date and another down the line.

Dating Essentials Chat, First Dates, Women

Online dating sites have always tried to offer unique and interesting ways to match up potential mates. From personality traits and characteristics to hobbies and activities, there’s no shortage of supposedly “guaranteed” approaches to helping you find your life partner.

Now there’s something new in the world of online dating that might seem really strange – genetic profiling. Yes, genetic profiling. Sounds like something out of CSI, right?

The really interesting thing is that there is some scientific evidence to support the idea that your genes have some role to play in how compatible you are with another person. It seems there is a particular group of human genes called human leukocyte antigens (HLAs) that relate to your body’s immune functions, but they also seem to produce certain attraction-related responses in some cases.

This response was tested by – get ready for this – by conducting an experiment where women sniffed the sweaty t-shirts of men. Researchers found that women tended to prefer the scent of t-shirts from men whose HLAs were very different from their own. Additional research has been done over the last couple of years that seems to confirm there is at least some correlation between couples with different HLAs and their long term relationship satisfaction.

One company, called GenePartner, has started to offer testing to decipher your HLAs in the hope that someday the results from these kinds of tests will be incorporated into mainstream online dating websites. I wouldn’t recommend running out and spending your hard earned money on such a test right away, but it’s worth tucking away in the back of your mind as something to keep an eye on in the months and years to come!

News & Views Genetics, Hobbies, Personality, Profiling, Women