Most of the time I write about the positives in dating, but today I’m going to talk about the negative. You know, those dates you never should have gone on in the first place. Here are the top five worst reasons to date somebody.

• Looks. Ok, we’ve all done this. And, sometimes it works out well because, as luck would have it, we find we have lots in common with the walking Ken or Barbie. But, when that happens, it is just that: luck. Beauty fades quickly when you find you have nothing in common.
• They seemed just like your ex – This one will disappoint you every time. Get over your ex – don’t try to replace him or her.
• They are your best friend’s ex – Ok, so maybe you’re not going out with them because they’re your best friend’s ex, but your friend has said that they don’t care. Unless they dated this person years ago and have gone on to find the love of their life since then, they don’t mean it when they say it’s ok. You’re risking a friendship on this one.
• Dating your boss – In many companies, it’s against policy and will get you fired. But, even if it isn’t technically against the rules; it’s a bad idea. You’ll make enemies of your coworkers, and be in a very bad spot if it doesn’t work out.
• Dating a subordinate – Just like dating your boss, dating someone who reports to you at work is asking for trouble. And, if you break up with them, and they happen to be vindictive; you could be looking at a sexual harassment charge.

Dating Essentials Beauty, Boss, Exes, Work

People have been meeting their significant others at work for decades now. After all, we tend to spend a lot of time at work, especially when we’re single, so it’s often the place where we meet the most people. But, is it a good idea to date a coworker? Here are four questions to ask yourself.

• What’s your company policy? It’s less prevalent today, but there are still a few companies that forbid dating between coworkers. If your company is one of them, you have to weigh your options. If you’re very discreet, maybe no one will find out, but if you get caught, you could both lose your jobs. If he or she turns out to be “the one”, and you decide to get married, how will you handle it?
• Is the person you’re interested in your supervisor or subordinate? This is forbidden in almost all companies. And even if it isn’t strictly against the rules, it’s dangerous territory. As a boss, you risk a sexual harassment charge if you break the relationship off. As a subordinate, you risk unfair treatment by the boss if you’re the one to break it off.
• How will you feel about seeing this person every day if it doesn’t work? Even when there is no reporting relationship, you may still feel awkward at work if it doesn’t work out.
• Are You Willing to Be the Brunt of Office Gossip? If people find out, they’re gonna talk. Just be sure you can handle it. Eventually of course, if you say very little, they’ll move on to another topic.

Work can be a great place to meet someone. Just be sure you’re prepared for the many different things that can happen when you date where you work.

Dating Essentials Company Policy, Meet People, Work

Just in case you’re not feeling enough pressure going into that upcoming first date you have scheduled, here’s something else to keep in mind: about two thirds of all singles will decide whether to see someone again within the first 30 minutes of a date.

Yes, that’s right. You have 30 minutes to make a good impression on that other person if you want there to be a second date. If you’re really lucky, though, your date will be among the 22% of singles who are willing to give you up to an hour before they make up their minds.

Does any of this surprise you? It shouldn’t, really, considering the fast paced world in which we live. In a society where the emphasis is on getting what you want faster (think drive thru espresso stands) and having to take care of many different responsibilities each day (think multi-tasking or juggling two jobs), it’s no wonder that we’ve developed the same “short term” approach to our dating habits. We think we don’t have a moment to waste, so even on a date we’re inclined to be rushed and make fast decisions.

Age has a lot to do with this trend. In general, people under age 40 are most likely to make these fast judgments, while people over age 40 are more likely to give things a bit more time. But you don’t want to dally with this older group, either, as they are probably only going to give you an hour or so before making their decision.

So the next time you go out on a first date, put a rush on it; you only get one chance (and about 30 minutes) to make a good first impression!

Dating Essentials Age, Attraction, Speed Dating, Work