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I can relate to an awful lot of these posts. I'm 26f and have recently broken up with a 37 year old separated guy and in the process of going through a divorce, with 2 small children. I know that 4 and a half months might not seem like long compared to some of the people who have posted, but even so, if you like someone, you like them, and so it still hurts when you break up. Him and the wife separated 4 years ago but they gave it another go last year but after 3 months it ended as they were getting nowhere. The problem i found hard to deal with, is not so much the children, as i always accepted the fact that he had them, and it never became an issue for me (i never got to meet them either as it was too soon and then we ended, so there were no problems with them not liking me or anything like that). What I found hard was that he is essentially a workaholic. So on top of me not seeing him as much as i would with another boyfriend without the children, I didn't see him much in the week or he wouldn't text that much or call because he was so busy with work. I never felt like he put me last, but I always knew that the kids came first, and that he had to maintain a good relationship with their mother. I certainly don't think that there is anything going on with the wife as i know they didn't make each other happy, and its refreshing to hear from him, that although they went through a couple of bad years, he claims, and i believe him, that he never cheated on her.
So he is a lovely guy and treated me so well, but it came to a head earlier in the week, and we broke up just yesterday, purely because we are just so different. My friends and family would say to me "am i crazy"? What do i possibly have in common with him lifestyle wise? They all said i could do so much better. But i never agreed, and still don't. I was crazy about him for who he was, but it just didn't work out. Ultimately we were just too different. I think the final straw is that although it was me who ultimately had enough and ended it, when we met face to face and he had time to think things through properly, he realised he can't give me what i want. Not that i expect a proposal now, but i might do, in a few years, whereas he isn't even divorced yet and by the time that goes through, is he really wanna jump into marriage all over again. So he did think of me in long term. Upsettingly, he has to return something of mine next week so i have to see him which will be hard, part of me wants him back but then will it work.