Member Comments on eHarmony

E-Harmony was a major waste of money! I am attractive, but was about 40 lbs. overweight (I've lost weight since). I've seen heavier women who date regularly, but I'm also in my mid-50's, however I look younger. Every man that I contacted never wrote back and nobody contacted me. It is overpriced and a complete waste of time.

I guess I'm one of those few that didn't pass the test. Don't know how I didn't pass as I disclosed that I was Catholic (but not practicing) and as a part of my background check with my security job, I passed a psychological evaluation. So, I have the mental acumen (and marksmanship ability) to carry a firearm on duty, yet fail eHarmony's test. Kind of kick you below the belt as far as your self-esteem goes, but for the money they charge and the numerous complaints I've read, I'm almost glad I didn't pass.

@Boss I agree wholeheartedly with the comments by "Boss" on July 13th. It was just a waste of money, I spent time playing with the settings, and I was very limited to the amount I could view. I listed slim/slender, and all I got were overweight women. Within the week almost, I cancelled my 3 month subscription. I have been to a few dating sites, and what I've found was this, any woman who thought she was half decent in looks, and was for arguments sake 55 yrs old, she would list as wanting to meet guys between 30 to 45 yrs old. So, me being 59 yrs old, what chance did I have? Yet, many people I know, say I look 10 yrs younger than my age, I'm fit, muscular, and going by what they say, quite attractive also. Yet I have a huge problem in getting a females interest, once they see the age, interest lost... I have found that a huge number of dating sites cater for either the younger woman looking for guys around their age, or they're gold diggers, looking for money or passports or where the female is around 40 yrs old and onwards, generally she is a cougar. I get more smiles, hellos, and come-ons when I go to the local supermarket, or go out to a cafe for a coffee. To me, and many other guys in my position, dating sites are a waste of money. I will not settle for a woman, I know I won't be happy with, just for the sake of company. I would rather get myself a dog.

Problem 1 with this site: On the Canadian site, you have to have Visa or Mastercard or otherwise you won't be able to subscribe. Not even with Paypal which is stupid especially since the other E-Harmony sites do accept PayPal.

Problem 2: The subscription costs are more than double most of the other sites. Basically, the only moment basically you can subscribe is during those 3-month promo offers.

Problem 3: Like Zoosk, the person that you are interested must be subscribed to even just see your picture.

Problem 4: Even if you're subscribed you're definitely not guaranteed to have success. With the cost I think you should get more bang for the buck and so far EHarmony has failed to do so. Even during the Free Communication Weekend, where I've send the first set of questions to over 150 people, I've got only two responses. Just a complete flop.

So you have to pray for each promotion that are few and far between, even though other sites don't even have any promotions at all.

Christian dating is the only type of dating I'm doing from now on! I need someone who understands where I'm coming from and what I believe in, and with this site I get that. I couldn't recommend it more!

This site is garbage! I signed up for 3 months and i canceled it within the week! I got a whopping 300+ matches, of those I'd say maybe only25 had pictures, and 90% of those that did have pictures were all fat women. I put everything i was looking for in those 1000 questions you get asked and i get matched up with fat women. There is also no search engine, so you're stuck with who you're 'matched' up with. I complained to them directly and you know what they told me? I have to look past the looks and to their personality. Yea effin right. If there's no attraction physically in any way, nothings gonna happen. Thumbs down to this site, had a better experience on match.com.

I think most of the complaints expressed here are from those who have not used eHarmony appropriately. The secret is to make sure that you go to "My Settings" and visit each of "Distance", "Personal Preferences", and "Backgrounds and Beliefs" and adjust the "How important is this to you?" to reflect the appropriate significance that you personally want to apply. For example under "I would like my matches to be between the ages of X and Y" you need not only to enter the appropriate ages but also say how important it is that you only get matches that fall between those ages. So if it is VERY IMPORTANT then make sure the marker is moved to #7. If you don't do this you are much more likely to get matches that are outside of the values of "X" and "Y".

But please remember that sometimes eHarmony will still send you someone who does not meet a particular value you have set because the proposed match measures so highly on the 29 deep criteria measured by the extensive questionnaire you each completed.

As for the physical appearance of any particular proposed match sent to you, it is important to remember two things. First, that the software they use is not capable of measuring the appearance of a photo against some criteria that you may currently be carrying in your mind. And two, that as the site says any match sent you has been evaluated against the 29 deeper criteria and so it is recommended that you rarely reject someone based solely on their physical appearance.

I want to address the issue of this supposedly being a "Christian" website. Nothing could be more incorrect. I myself have followed my own advice given above and excluded any "Christian" and set my choice to "Spiritual but not religious" and moved the bar to make this a very important criteria. I get lots of matches sent me and none of them are from Christians.

Finally, one important tip. Whenever you change criteria, make sure you hit "Save" or your change will not be applied to possible matches.

E-Harmony had me fill out a 20 minute 5 page "Personality Review"; made me give them my email address and telephone number just to shut me down at the end because I answered "separated" to one of their questions (in the beginning!). I think its great that they screen for what they want however they have no right to take people's time and very private information for their own gain without prior notification. Absolutely ridiculous, if not illegal. Lisa.

The worst consumer experience, the worst dating experience I've ever had. Of the 95 matches they sent me 90 were not even within my geographical settings of 200 miles. Of the 5 that were within my region 2 were not even paid subscribers, one was too old, one too young and one too big. I'm contacted by a woman a six hour drive away. I give it a try. She nurtures a relationship over the phone. But when I drive to the city in which she lives I meet the old boy friend who is still in the house, couch surfing in her living room, she's completely unable to get rid of him. But Eharmony calls this abuse "service". Read their terms. They are selling nothing but an unqualified list of names. How is this doing business in good faith? It just isn't. And they come from a "faith perspective" initially!?! These people have no integrity; have no concept of what abuse really is.

To @Priscilla

First and foremost, I am your peer at 26 years old. It always amazes me how I can be the same age as you and somehow your immaturity has a way of oozing through your emails. I can see why you do not like E-harmony and I will be bold and frank with you- ITS YOU!! Based on your posts, it is more than apparent that you lack class or any sort of refinement and dignity. Your stage presence is horrible and it's only e-mail!!! I would hate to meet you on a date and to see your callousness and ignorance in person. You probably have visions of me being a spiteful angry girl, perhaps overweight, the kind of girl that never got asked to prom. Well I am going to burst your disillusioned fragile perception here and tell ya, that's not the case. I know I am attractive however my value is in my accomplishments in life such as completing two degrees. I firmly disagree with your statement that older women are not attractive and should age gracefully alone. For your sake I hope you manage to manipulate some poor chap into tolerating you now, as based on your views I think you might end up alone if you don't. If you can't fool some man, live by your own words and do the world a favor and "age gracefully ALONE". To all the 50+ year olds, I want to say there is nothing sexier than a woman who takes complete pride in womanhood. I am not there yet, but look forward to those years and the confidence it brings.

Cheers Tina

I will start by mentioning that I'm an atheist, and I still get a lot of matches, and so to me it does not seem to matter that I'm not Christian. So even if you're not Christian, you can still have a lot of matches.

I signed up for eHarmony about four days ago. I immediately got several matches, and I've had about ten new matches a day. I find that I have too many though, because a large percentage of the ones that view my profile contact me. I've got a few people in open communication at the moment, and a couple want to meet in real life. Several other matches are on about the third stage.

I'm nice looking and young though...so maybe that's it.

No "Eh" is not only for Christians...however, it is for the very very patient. Have you ever played table tennis underwater? That's exactly what it's like on Eh...slow slow slow - like a glacier forming thru the eons. One must pay $137 US for a minimum 3 mo experience... Very little ( zed) customer service. Match, JDATE, much faster and results oriented.

@Sarah You say you just changed your religion to Christian and then the next day 200 matches! I don't believe it! I have no religion set but I still get matches. Eharmony questionnaire is about 50 pages with some pretty obscure stuff so how do you know everything was the same just religion? Did you print a copy?

I agree with the person that said, if you are not Christian don't bother. EHarmony is a Christian dating site that for some reason decides to hide that fact in their advertising. When I signed up last September I listed myself as not religious and did not receive ONE MATCH. Nothing, nada, zip. SO. . . I did an experiment. I was given the opportunity to redo my questionnaire and changed my religion to Christian to see what would happen. No joke, I had 200 matches by the next morning.

Of course, if you are a Christian (or religious in general) and are looking for others of the same beliefs, then by all means try it out. If you are not, STAY AWAY!!! Do not waste your money. I have nothing wrong with dating sites matching people based on religion, but at least be up front about it!

@Laura I joined a few weeks ago. I am very serious about finding someone. I am a professional, educated, i am told I look younger then my 50 plus age, still my matches are not even close to my age or they live in the next state ect.

Jalene :

I am a 36 year old woman with a preference for men my age or slightly younger and they kept sending me matches of men of men 40 to 51 when my preference is 30- 41! Any younger guy id message would ignore me while these old lechers kept badgering me.

Eharmony is a complete joke! A waste of good money! I am a 36 year old woman with a preference for men my age or slightly younger and they kept sending me matches of men of men 40 to 51 when my preference is 30- 41! Any younger guy id message would ignore me while these old lechers kept badgering me.

@sandra schofield Don't be so down on yourself. If you don't love yourself, why should anybody else love you? I'm 56, met a man on pof.com and he thinks I'm very hot. I am not slim, tall, and my hair is very short. Not Christine Brinkley by any means. I'm average for my age. He's 4 years younger and loves women my age, won't even date someone younger. Learn to love yourself and your own body and you might have better luck with men.

@Priscilla I feel sorry for you. You are so young and so hateful. Grow up. Someday you'll be 50.

I'm sure the site is fairly good if you pay the high fee. However the 10 day free trial is really pointless considering you CAN'T see what your matches look like. eHarmony fails because of this. Bad enough that online dating is a crap shoot as it is by having to deal with fake profiles, scammers, and narcissists; But to not show pics of your matches? Online blind dating equals no for me!

@Alex Hi Alex, I like your frankness here. Yes, I was being prompted by eHarmony to give it a try. I am still sceptical about as to whether it is worth trying my efforts on it or not. I am 35 years old, a full time teacher and a part time model for a corporate magazine. I like to know you better. Don't ever worry, I am a genuine seeker just like you, looking for my soul mate. I hate scammers to bits!! You can reach me at my email: lindalaszdan@yahoo.com.sg. See you soon!!

Linda